Am I mad to get sterilised at my age?

[SqueekyNuts]

Came off the pill as I am getting hormonal headaches plus I don't want to be taking hormonal contraceptives anymore.

Neither DH or I want children but he is worried about side effects of vasectomy. For me I am happy with the risks of sterilization.

We have enough money to pay privately for female sterilization. But here is where I keep thinking am I mad as I am 46 this year. I 'could' have gone through the menopause but not know because of the pill but from what I have read you have to be period free for 2 years under age of 50 to be sure.

I keep reading that you can still easily get pregnant but then I read that you can't easily at that age. Would the consultant think I am mad asking my age?

I think you're totally within your right, if you're absolutely sure it's what you want go for it, I think at 46 it's perfectly acceptable, the consultant will have seen a variety of ages requesting it so shouldn't think you mad.

Why not. I'd love my DH to do it. I'm not prepared to do anything to jeopardize my sex drive to be honest. I think otherwise I'd have done it already. 4 kids is more than enough and getting pregnant again is my worse nightmare.

I use anon hormonal copper coil. It's fine for me.

I looked at the coil but my concern is if I don't get on with it then I am back to square one again.

It seems a bit daft to have waited all this time but it's only now that we are financially ok to pay for it without worrying as looking at the NHS guidelines it seems to suggest you need to have given long term contraceptives a try first.

Just didn't want to look a bit daft asking for it now

At 46 I’d say go for it, from your title I thought you’d be 26 and I was going to say I’d worry about changing my mind if I were you. The truth is you’re not likely to change your mind now, at least not whilst age is on your side.

I’d really try and encourage DP though as by all accounts it’s a safer op for him!

Vasectomy is much quicker and cheaper.

I researched vasectomy side effects as I was concerned that they downplay them a bit and I can see why DH is reluctant.

It's frustrating as he could get it done next week on the NHS (he went for the initial consultation but didn't go through with it due to the possible side effects).

Think I will book a private consultation as it's only a couple of hundred pounds for that and doesn't commit me to anything. I know lots of people dread the menopause but I just wish I knew when it was going to happen because it could save me a few thousand pounds

i was sterilised at 24 after my third child and never regretted it for a single day

DH had a vasectomy last year & it was fine - obviously tender & sore initially but now has all clear.
What side effects are you worried about?

Side effects from vasectomy of long term pain which can affect a small number of men with number of incidences varying depending on which report you read. Also resulting lumps which can make it harder to detect cancer when examining them.

DH isn't keen and is worried enough to not go ahead whilst we was using alternative contraceptive.

I am not keen to persuade him as I think he should be happy to go ahead on his own.

I was sterilised at 28 and was a day patient. It was through the NHS.

There were various stages I had to go through, including seeing a counsellor a number of times, but it was the best thing I ever did.

Although, I'm now on Loestrin (the pill), due to "fibroid changes" which led to bleeding heavily for weeks and being in incredible pain during my period.

I mean the only time I'd find wanting to be sterilised ridiculous is if you were 93. Otherwise, go for it!

Your husband is being absurd. The risks of male sterilisation are less than the risks of female sterilisation. You would have to have a general which is risky, he would only need a local. Generals are more risky and take longer to recover from. Your risk of infection is also higher than his.

You have already spent time on the pill with the associated increased cancer, blood clot and mental health risks. It’s interesting how men are happy for their women to risk their own health over many years but aren’t happy to do the same themselves.

I think he would have a vasectomy if the alternative wasn't there and I wasn't so keen on being sterilised. There are side effects with both but I am more willing as it's me that suffers the most if I did get pregnant.

My DH and I discussed both male and female sterilisation with our Doctor.

She said male vasectomy is easier to do, is less invasive, is less traumatic to the body and has a far higher success rate.

I wouldn't even consider it for myself now, DH can deal with the potential side effects, although I am a bit bitter that I had to deal with 2 csections 😆

I would speak to your doctor, I think at 46 you would be allowed to be sterilized on the NHS as the risk of complications witj pregnancy would be costly (financially, physically, emotionally)

I would never want to go through abdominal surgery and a general anaesthetic for something I might only need for a couple more years, or even less!

I'd get my hormones checked, it is possible to diagnose the menopause via a blood test. Then, if I wasn't anywhere near the menopause, I'd get an IUD and save myself a lot of money and an operation.

I can understand your DH not being keen on getting a vasectomy because of the risk of chronic pain. My DH was on the waiting list for a vasectomy until he injured some muscle and nerves in his groin and suffered with awful referred pain in his testicle. The consultant who saw him in hospital said that he wouldn’t recommend a vasectomy in the future for DH primarily because of the risk of chronic pain seen as he had already suffered with referred pain in that region.

Vasectomy might be the right choice for some couples, but it is definitely true that it causes chronic pain approximately 1-2% of the time. Your urologist will be basically useless if this happens and will probably not even want to personally take your calls.

Here's the basic gist of it:

medium.com/@agent_scruples/how-common-is-chronic-pain-after-vasectomy-4bfcd7f0959f

Nobody wants to talk about it, but this really is the fly in the ointment with vasectomy.