Help 12yo sleepover do I insist they go to bed

[peoplepleaser1]

It's DS' 12th birthday. He has 5 mates sleeping over. They have been to the cinema and are now at half past midnight all downstairs on various electronic devices- PC, switches, iPads etc.

They will be sleeping in the lounge as that's the only place they can all fit! I've set out bed rolls and sleeping bags etc for each of them.

They don't seem to think they are going to bed at all tonight. At the last sleepover they went to they didn't really sleep at all and it took DS days to recover.

I'd like them to get some sleep but I don't want to 'ruin' DS' party.

Ordinarily DS would not have his phone or any electronics at night.

I don't know what to do.

Mumsnetters can you give advice please?

I would have removed all devices by now and let them have a last hour of tv, then just quiet chat.

I’d leave them Kids don’t sleep at sleepovers until they literally keel over.

I would give them a half hour warning for devices to go off and then it will take them at least another hour to settle down.

Half hour warning, snacks , carbs and cocoa, to knock them out!

I’d also give a 1/2 hour warning and then quiet time. You can’t really remove their devices / but could you turn WiFi off?

Thanks for the advice.

One fairly firm parent who I trust and respect did suggest that I just leave them all to it this evening. So I sort of thought I might do that- and it's clearly what the kids are expecting.

However now it's fine midnight I would rather they settled down for some sleep....

I have a 2am electronics curfew but I do discuss this with dd before the night & she lets her friends know. They also know I really mean 2am and no later otherwise they won't be asked back. So far it has worked.

A friend used to put classical music on low volume with half hour warning. Girls said it worked

@shazkiwi that's a great idea and I now wish I had done something similar to manage expectations before the sleepover.

Most of the kids here have stayed over before, but only one at a time- they have always gone to sleep without any problems, and accepted that devices need to go away.

I feel quite pathetic as I don't want DS to be singled out as the one whose mum ruined their fun but at the same time I think they should get some sleep!

Argh this is tough!

Then just leave them because that way 6 out of the 7 of you are happy!

If you tell them to go to sleep, you’ll feel guilty and they might resent you so 7 out of 7 will feel bad!

It’s the holidays at least. Days to recover and you won’t be that mum!

Still feed them carbs and cocoa though!

Because it’s a birthday sleepover i’d Leave them.

The rule I have is if I have to get up, it’s game over.

Any noise and the Wi-fi will be off.

What I remember about sleepovers at that age is that it was absolutely EXPECTED for the hosting parents to come in and tell us to go to sleep (usually around midnight or 1am - one friend's fab mum used to bring us snacks at midnight then tell us to "shut up or sleep"), and then the thrill of completely ignoring it and staying up anyway.

I'd try not to worry about it, OP, and just make sure YOU get some sleep.

I have just been downstairs and coaxed them all into their sleeping bags. Boone argued and a couple were already asleep.

Hopefully I won't have made DS a laughing stock! TV is still on and they have cookies.

Hope they went to sleep eventually! We were caught totally off guard by this at the last sleepover, we will be setting a rule in advance next time and then turning the WiFi off at a certain time.

(it did go fine despite them staying up until silly hours)

Hope you got some sleep!

It all went quiet @SushiGo - so I think it worked. One has to leave at 8am though so unfortunately I they all woke rather early.

I was horrified to find they had drawn on two of each other's faces with sharpie whilst sleeping though. That's now a whole other threat in AIBU!

Nail polish remover gets sharpie off skin! Some facial wipes do too, especially the cheaper brands!

Yes.

I once had a group who would not go to sleep so at 2am I located my sleeping bag arrived in DDs room and told them I was setting up a bed space and if they weren't asleep in 20 minutes would come and join in the fun.... they were all asleep 10 minutes later!!