Who should get the dusty old suitcase?

[vandergahrd]

This is not a very serious post.
My PIL are still alive and healthy btw.

DS and his cousin both want to inherit the same object.

The object would be a real old fashioned leather suitcase that belonged to their great grandfather, and must be coming up 100 years old. It has some really pretty stickets and stamps all over it for ports in the 30s and later airlines in the 50s, trains etc. “Cape Town” “New Delhi” “Karachi” “Hong Kong”. These are very cool, and have the dates that he travelled there on hols.

DS mentioned a few years ago that he really liked the suitcase to them. DS is the last of the vandergahrds and it was the suitcase of grt grandad van der gahrd. He’s really keen on family history.

His cousin is descended from his aunt. She heard that he liked the suitcase and likes it herself, and so asked the dgrandparents directly, out of spite if she could have the suitcase in future. Dgranny said yes seeing as she actually asked for it first.

Who should get it?

Whoever is the oldest grandchild interested in it.

DS is older

Tricky, but I'd say your son.

Why should the oldest get it? As the youngest in my family this attitude really annoys me.

There you go! Not sure how you convince the grandparents of that though. Can he "borrow" it for a school project or show or something and forget to ever give it back...

The eldest should get it.

Op sorry I didn't actually answer your question. What do you mean that the cousin is descended from the aunt? Is the cousin your husband's sister's child? And do you mean that because your DS has the same surname as the great grandfather you think he should get the suitcase?

Why should the eldest grandchild get it? He didn't speak up, the other child did and his mother asked first. Tough luck. It's been promised.

Why is that spiteful no

Both have an equal claim, so they should toss a coin for it. Hopefully once they get a bit older the DCs will be able to work something out.

DS is the last of the v's and it was the suitcase of grt grandad v. He’s really keen on family history.

No to be picky, but how do you know your DS is the last of his name?

(Not that I think the surname is a relevant or determining factor.)

I think the name is very relevant.

I think the name is very relevant.

How very patriarchal of you.

Annoying, but she asked first and was told yes. Point is moot and it 'belongs' to his cousin now as the one who asked first.

Why, thank you 😉

😏

Saying the name is relevant (if I've understood the relationships ) is sexist, and there's no good reason why the oldest should take precedence.

Coin toss.

Surely the cousin gets it as that is what dgps have agreed?

They'll probably forget and chuck it out.

If your parents have it and have stored it surely it should go to your child.
But there again who knows if these kids will actually still want it in 15 years time. In their own house with little room to store it.

Assuming the children do still want it, your parents have muddied the waters by saying yes to other child, so avoiding all arguments coin toss is fair.

The cousin and your son both have the same relationship to the original owner of the case.
If she likes it, why was her asking her grandparents for it “out of spite”?

I expect lots of people who see it say they like it- it doesn’t mean they want it. Your son should have asked them.
It’s too late now. They’ve said she can have it.

No, not too late to ask. I know this is light-hearted, but actually something like that has too much significance to be subject to dibs.

Speak to PILs about it. Fnd out whether any other cousins also have their heart set on it (without encouraging that if you can!) and then come up with a way to decide. If PILs have their own thought about it (e.g. family name), then that takes precedence - otherwise a draw/coin toss.

Fwiw, I inherited something of my great, great grandmother's through my dad. It probably should have gone to a different family member a couple of generations back (it was given due to name or personal preference - not sure which). It's probably my most precious material possession.

(precious as in treasured. No significant monetary value)

If your parents have it and have stored it surely it should go to your child.

The cousins parents have it and stored it....
Cousin asked first, ds should have been quicker. All ds can do is say to cousin that if they ever decide they don't want it, that he wants it and please don't sell/throw away

Oh, and your DS should tell them why he wants it. If he's previously shown a strong interest in family history, and can give a credible reason of why it makes him think of Great Uncle Algernon's adventures, whereas cousin just thinks it's pretty, that might well sway PILs, and that should be respected.