DH overly affectionate

[PinkLillies18]

Please tell me I'm not alone! I'm not sure if this is usual to feel like this, I'm hoping others are experiencing/have experienced the same feeling.
I'm not an overly affectionate person as it is, however lately, I feel like my DH is almost suffocating me with affection.
For medical reasons I'm not really able to have sex without pain and cramping and so I think that plays a big part on it.
However, if I give DH a bit of affection back (kisses/cuddles) he then immediately starts trying to escalate the affection to sex.
How do I calm the over-the-top affection without offending him?

He knows that sex causes you pain? In that you've explicitly said look it hurts? And he continues?

Does he understand about your medical condition? If not, explain it to him. If he does, then he’s an arse.

TMI questions. Is it PIV sex that causes pain? In which case, is it possible to enjoy everything but that? Or is he constantly trying to have painful sex with you? In which case I'd think of leaving.

Agree. Next time he does it, say look I'd love to but you know how much pain it causes me so please don't try.

I relate to this a little... sometimes I want a bit of a passionate kiss and cuddle but to OH it's ALWAYS supposed to end up in sex (never said this, he just automatically goes to a sexual movement/gesture) and it puts me off kissing or making out with him sometimes..

So he’s not actually being over affectionate. What he’s doing is pawing away at you and then expecting you to have sex with him even though you’re in pain?

Ugh. You need to stop worrying about offending him and start educating him on respecting you as a person!

Unless you’ve not actually told him that sex is painful for you...but if this is an ongoing medical condition then surely he knows this?

He's not forceful or anything like that at all. The doctors think I may have endo.
He's just really over the top with the affection and the moment. I'm just not into having a full on snog session every hour especially now and he constantly wants kisses and hugs.
Maybe it's more of a me problem. But I just need him to back off a bit (not in a horrible way)

@sirmione16 this is exactly what I'm trying to explain! I find it so frustrating! How do you handle the situation when he starts 'the moves'

@PinkLillies18 I guess I do a "change the conversation" sort of move lol! Either go silly and start pecking all over his face which makes him laugh and then move on, or I'll hug him close and tight quickly then back off. He takes a hint, but I do feel bad sometimes like oh did I "lead him on" but ultimately, I would never go through with sex just because I wanted a kiss and he got a bit worked up.

@confused that's a horrible thing to say!

Thanks MNHQ

Maybe pick a quiet moment and say something like you understand he wants to show his lurve but you're finding it tricky to always have to remind him that rumpy pumpy isn't nice for you at the moment and you feel pressured and a bit pawed at, since a cuddle is never just a cuddle? Or something.

Endo is grim. Javelin arse. Frightful clots. You have my sympathy meno is blardy marvellous, bu-bye vile symptoms.