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Original poster

Partner looking to retrain at 43, any advice

39 replies

Belleende · 05/04/2019 10:38

My DP has no education beyond school. He is v bright, knowledgeable, well read, but his mum moved the family to live on a beach in Portugal the year of his GCSEs, and that was that. He has spent his working life in catering and has had enough (can home to find he had quit his job, whole other thread there).

He wants to retrain, but doesn't know where to start. He is looking at OU degrees in things like health and social care. Any advice on resources we can tap into to help develop his thinking?
Ta

OP posts:
HermioneSnape42 · 05/04/2019 10:55

It’s free to complete your maths and English GCSE in England.

I have enquired to do mine at 42 as I want to train as a history teacher but need to start right at the bottom and complete my GCSE’s at a decent grade. Then do an alevel, access or B tec course to get the appropriate ucas points to go to uni.

Does he have any idea which area he would like to do? Nursing and teaching are both crying out for more applicants.

My son is looking to go to uni to join the police force as there is lots of different paths to go down.

NicoAndTheNiners · 05/04/2019 11:02

If he's interested in health and social care he could look at Access courses which if he has no qualifications he'd probably need to do before a degree. Most colleges run them, Access to Healthcare, etc. He could probably do maths and English at the same time.

FundayFriday · 05/04/2019 11:03

I made a career change. I would say really think about the job / career path at the end of it. What did he like about catering and not like?

What are the hours? Location/availability or jobs/pay? How much security does he want? Size of organisation to work for?

Health and social care are high stress jobs if you are front line. I would imagine he is used to that from catering but does he still want shifts?

Sorry not much of an answer. Generally speaking maybe a career book like What Colour is Your Parachute. Also doing myers briggs test.

Original poster
Belleende · 05/04/2019 11:11

Thanks all really helpful. Access courses could be interesting. Also really good to think about the working conditions. I don't think he could do shifts. I am the main bread winner, commute daily and sometimes need to travel for work. We have no family near by so shift work would be tricky childcare wise.

He hates the stress of catering but mostly not using his brain, but I do think he needs to be cautious on what jobs he takes on as I think he does not handle stress well. Hummm.

OP posts:
GeorgeTheBleeder · 05/04/2019 11:19

What Colour is Your Parachute would be a really good place to start as pp has said. It would be good if he can find some career counselling - though it probably won’t be free.

This isn’t what you asked, but I have to say I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone goes into the lower rungs of health and social care in England. The work seems so stressed and poorly paid - with neither time nor resources to do a good job. I don’t think it would be worse to have these roles taken over by robot employees.

I guess what I’m asking is - are there really no other areas he might like to explore? (I also retrained in middle age.)

LifeofClimb · 05/04/2019 11:21

Occupational interests cards are a good way to work out what career is a good fit for your lifestyle

www.icscareers.com.au/card-sort/

This is similar

There are so many resources online to research jobs before jumping in, you can find out all sorts these days even down to best employers in a field and general competition and expectations.
There are way too many opportunities out there to list them all, and some might not suit your dp because we don’t know him and his likes or circumstances - he has to put the legwork in himself to figure out what interests him so he can chase that path.

Original poster
Belleende · 05/04/2019 11:43

Have ordered the book and I totally agree, he has one shot at this, and he needs to think carefully about his next move, or we will end up three years down the line, alot of £££ down the drain and in the same place.

In the meantime, he will be a SAHD and given that our childcare bills are approaching £1000 per month, that is something. I might also consider ramping up my career.

OP posts:
GeorgeTheBleeder · 05/04/2019 12:15

he has one shot at this ... Forgive me but this sounds a little prescriptive. (Though obviously I only know what you’ve said here.)

If he is, educationally, in the same position as a pre-A’ Level teen then surely you should expect some hesitation and maybe the odd false start?

I don’t think either of you can reasonably guarantee that the first thing he tries will absolutely be his ‘forever’ career. And such an assumption would terrify anyone away from giving anything a try. I do realise there are family responsibilities to consider. Does he /do you know a wide variety of people whose careers he could investigate? Is he plumping for health and social care for lack of other examples?

What talents does he have? (You should know!) Who does he admire - work-wise? Is there anything he’s always dreamed of pursuing? If leaving his job was a sudden decision (setting aside how you might feel about this if not consulted) he surely needs time to find out what’s ‘out there’ - rather than throwing himself into the first thing that presents itself ...

Southernc0mfortmirror · 05/04/2019 12:22

Does a want to be medical or clinical, necessarily? I’m asking because I work in nhs admin and there are a lot of opportunities to do work that stretches your brain without the demands/shift work of clinical work. He may have to start lower down as a band 2 or 3 and work his way up though.

Teddybear45 · 05/04/2019 12:24

Honestly I would suggest an OU business degree and then encourage him to set up his own business.

InDubiousBattle · 05/04/2019 12:28

Sorry op it's not totally clear, does he have any GCSEs? What area of health and social care is he interested in? How old are your dc?

Dowser · 05/04/2019 12:36

Following with interest
My son lost his job last month
He was a security officer monitoring cameras

He has the equivalent of two a levels in compurts and 8 gcse
He’s 38 this year

He didn’t go to university as he became a single father

How do you go about paying for courses...his wife isn’t working and they have 3 big lads at home ...all in education

HermioneSnape42 · 05/04/2019 13:12

Dowser

If your son wants to go to university for a degree. He’ll get funding by applying through ucas and student finance the amount is dependant on household income. You can I think search for a calculator to give you some idea of what you’ll be entitled to.

UCAS also give you the entry requirements for each course so he’ll be able to see if he could apply or not.

Access courses are good at college too if he wants to brush up on skills before university and if you go on to do a degree they are paid for by the government too so no big bills for that either.

Original poster
Belleende · 05/04/2019 17:46

He has GCSEs, but no a levels. In terms of retraining, he really only has one shot in choosing an area to retrain in. It will take time and £££. We can't afford for him to retrain and then decide actually, I don't like the jobs at the end of it. We have a 4yr and 15mo.

I think he is jumping ahead of himself a bit and have had some good advice here. I think he needs to take some time, be really honest about his interests and limitations, and where the job market is, then make decisions on what to do next. I think I will have to strongly encourage him to take a really rigorous approach.

OP posts:
GeorgeTheBleeder · 05/04/2019 17:55

Has he ever taken any catering exams? If he hasn’t been required to challenge his brain academically since 16 he may struggle with a ‘rigorous approach’ ...

It’s a huge challenge. Most people who post here wanting a career change in middle age are worried about being too old (which is nonsense of course) and about whether their ancient degree will be of any use - but they do at least have that past knowledge to play with.

What are his interests?

Original poster
Belleende · 05/04/2019 18:38

No, never had any formal training in catering. He really likes history. He is incredibly knowledgeable about society and politics, I just dont know how this translates into a job.

I think he would actually thrive in an academic setting. He has a good brain. It is more the workplace at the end of it that worries me. He needs to be really honest what his limitations are.

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 05/04/2019 18:46

What job does he want?

I think of retraining as doing a qualification that will get you a different career. If you’re doing a general degree in something, I’d say that is furthering your education rather than training in something.

I think he would actually thrive in an academic setting

Are health and social care jobs very academic? What precise sort of things was he thinking? Do you mean things like rising/physio/OT?

Like any teen pre choosing A levels or a degree, I would say he needs to get some voluntary experience in different roles now.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 05/04/2019 19:55

If he’s interested in nursing lots of trusts pay staff to second to do their nurse training, which means no fees and a salary. First step is to get a hca job, which will let him test the waters.

GeorgeTheBleeder · 05/04/2019 20:22

OP I have another question, but I’m aware it may look as if I’m picking apart everything you say. It is only because it took me (with many apparent educational and professional advantages) ages to find a new purpose.

When you say He needs to be really honest what his limitations are what do you mean? And why is he looking at Health and Social Care when you say his talents lie in History and Politics?

Bess66 · 05/04/2019 21:00

Many health and social care jobs are shift based. Your kids won't need him to be a sahd forever though.

ChopinIn10Minuets · 05/04/2019 21:16

Has he thought of something like social work or community development or something like that? Those fields do require political awareness. Or maybe he could consider the police? You can volunteer as a Special Constable to work out if you like it (assuming you pass the initial fitness tests and assessments); ditto for the St John's Ambulance. Volunteering for charities in various capacities can be a good way of getting a feel for these roles without committing to them 100%.

Original poster
Belleende · 05/04/2019 22:05

George he walked out of his current job because he couldn't handle the stress. I am worried that he could train for a career like social work or similar and not be able to handle it. He has to factor that in.

He is interested in history and the like, but we can't afford the money or the time for him to retrain without a job at the end, and I don't know where a degree in history for example would get him.

I think volunteering is a good call.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/04/2019 22:07

I never usually suggest my profession but if he has a science background, wants non-shifts , the capacity to work NHS or Private and being older is something of an advantage (but it's tough on the old back) .....

Podiatry .

I have been an NHS Podiatrist for over 30 years - I know , I could've murdered someone and served less time in jail !......

Worth looking and the NHS will be very short in years to come as over 50% of us are over 40yo.

Leeds2 · 05/04/2019 22:09

Maybe look at work in prisons?

Hellywelly10 · 05/04/2019 22:23

The advice to try volunteering is very wise. He could do a few hours a week when your not at work. Would he be suited to a traid? Plumbing etc. Probably better paid than caring roles.