Did you choose your dc extracurricular classes or clubs or did they?

[NutMeghan]

How does this sort of thing happen? My eldest is 8 and has no interest in any music or sports. I've asked him if he wants to learn an instrument or play football or another sport and he has always said no so I've left it.
The younger dc are similar now too.

Was I supposed to choose something and make them do it? Just like you make them go to school. Is this how other parents get their dc to do things? Or did you wait until they asked to do something?

When I was young I did the brownies but that is because I really wanted to. But my siblings did nothing. A couple of them have learned the guitar when they were older (self taught). Dh was raised similarly and taught himself guitar as a teen and adult, so I think my dc may choose that when they are older also (although dh seems to think that guitars are not popular to learn anymore).

I don't make the dc do an activity but I do suggest things they might like to do. I have, when dd2 liked a particular class but was feeling very shy about going, rewarded her for going.

Mostly we've come across clubs and asked the DC if they are interested and sometimes they have been and sometimes not.

I would suggest doing activities with your kids and going from there. Partly because kids don't necessarily know what's possible until you show them, and partly because being a family that is curious and tries new things encourages children to do that for themselves. For example, my children do some less mainstream sporting activities (fencing, canoeing and lawn bowls!!) because we went along to open days or just went to an activity centre and tried loads of stuff out when they were little. It's just a case of finding that one thing that sparks their interest and often they won't know until they try.

If your DS isn't interested in music or sport, what about other hobbies like

• modeling clubs (airfix, lego)
• acting
• fishing

etc, etc

My DS wants to do everything on offer. I wouldn't make him do something he didn't want to do, apart from swimming, I'd make him do that if he didn't want to go.

I sent DD to Rainbows and she now goes to Brownies, but I wouldn't have made her continue if she didn't like it. We also make her go to swimming lessons whether she wants to or not, because we think she should learn to swim. Other stuff she has chosen for herself (French at school, tennis, archery for a term at school, dance club).

We would encourage something outside of school as I think when they get older it's good for them to have friends that maybe aren't in the same class/school. It has always been something they would have shown an interest in though, such as football, dancing, science etc. If they join something and then really don't like it, we wouldn't make them stay. The only thing we've insisted on is swimming lessons, we both feel strongly that they need to be able to swim (we live near water)

There are so many clubs and activities etc. for kids nowadays, there's bound to be something for them to get involved in?

Swimming was compulsory from five until squad level, then they could choose to opt out. (Coming from a highly coastal country, they had to be able to swim - and well).

I encouraged them to try things - they did writing club, (gave it up much to my relief, it was awful), ballet - both gave it up, one went back to it, one has done violin for years, the other has just taken up ukelele.

Both had riding lessons, one gave it up, the other loves it.

One's taken art club.

I encourage them to do things, facilitate it, but it's up to them, ultimately, and they're required to put the effort and practice in - if they don't, it's worth neither the time nor the money. And if they don't want to do it, they won't.

I suggested things to try - largely based on my own interests or things I did as a child or things that were convenient to drive to. We tried a few things, most she didn't like and said she didn't want to go back to. Two she did like and we've kept doing those. She also does two afterschool clubs, but she doesn't really have much choice in these (though she likes them) as we just need the childcare on those days. If she absolutely protested, I don't know what I'd do, but probably would end up still having to send her to at least one of them.

A mixture: I signed them all up to Brownies/cubs etc when they were too young to make a choice otherwise they weren't guaranteed to get in.

Dd1-I insisted on swimming, but she was desperate to do ballet as she had older friends who did it. I arranged for her to join junior chorus in panto aged 5yo, so I guess that was my choice. She loved it so much she asked to go to drama, and I chose which one. She wanted to play the piano as dh did.

DD2 generally wanted to do what dd1 did. However she also started gym with a friend, and piano wasn't the best idea as she's only got one hand so she plays the trumpet instead.

Ds is a bit different. he started off doing dance and gym like his big sisters. Then he decided he didn't like it except tap. He started a couple of sports which he loved. Then he was really ill for a year and stopped everything as he had no energy.
When he was coming out of that, I decided he needed to do something as he'd lost a lot of confidence and wasn't wanting to do anything other than sit on the computer. So I gave him a choice of about 6 things. He chose drama "because it's the nearest/shortest". Great start.
He had about a term and a half of moaning every week going in, and I kept saying he could stop but he would have to choose something else. Then one week he bounded out and sked if he could do a second class there. He's now breaking the bank with 4 evenings and Saturdays with varying theatre stuff and would do more if he could.
He also chose as his instruments violin and drums, although he's now stopped the violin, sometimes I wonder if he'd like to take it up again, he does love music.

I think parents need to encourage DC to give things a go - they don’t know if they like something if they’ve never tried it.

I did no clubs growing up, so I’m keen to give my DC the opportunity to try things (that I never had).

I took DC along to extra curricular activities from such a young age (when I chose them without any input from her) that she was always totally acclimatised to the concept. She has done lots of things over the years and has now found her niche in visual and creative arts - drawing, painting, piano, singing, dance, filmmaking etc

I chose for my oldest to go to St. John Ambulance Badgers when he was 5 and the rest have asked to go (though my youngest had to wait until he was 7 due to starting age change). The regular first aid training was our non-negotiable and they do lots of things that were new to them alongside that. My younger daughter found out how much she loves and excelled at rock climbing through them.

Other than that, they choose and other than a weekly home-ed club that they chose, I didn't really focus on extracurriculars like that until my kids were hitting secondary age and started showing interest in focusing on particular activities like photography or music. I think, before that, free time and plenty of experiences through local events and maybe multiple activity groups like Badgers or similar has worked pretty well for us.

My children chose their classes bar swimming which they have to do. My daughter asked for ages to do ballet and also gymnastics. I wouldn't push them into something they don't have an interest in.