I am a mgmt consultant working on a client site. My line manager has arranged that 50% of my time will be spent on a new project for this client that he doesn't have time for. This manager hired me into the consultancy and has been a strong advocate for me in many ways.
I have the absolute heebiejeebies about this work. Rationally I know I should be able to do it even though it is not my usual thing but every time I start reading up on it I start crying and my brain freezes. This is not normal for me. Normally i get nervous about things like big presentations but the adrenaline kicks in and it becomes good stress. But I have spent most of the last two days sobbing every time I try and look at this project. To complicate matters this manager is leaving the consultancy to join the client in the same role, so at the end of the month he becomes my client, not a fellow consultant.
I know my emotional reaction is completely disproportionate. It is the type of detailed analysis he does in his sleep but I just don't know where to start with it. I feel like he's gone native and I don't know if I can ask for his help witbout jeopardising lots of future work for my firm. I feel exposed and scared of damaging my reputation if I don't deliver.
No other members of my firm are in this city, and I don't know my new line manager at all well so I don't know how he would respond. The business isn't doing great so I don't want to give them cause to get rid of me before I have found something else.
So do I ask my manager/client for help? After all he is the one who decided I could do the work.
I have a history of occasional moderate anxiety and depression, although not currently on medication just HRT. I am terrified of being written off at work and not finding my way back in. I am very fragile right now and I don't know why .
What do I do oh wise mumsnetters?