I NEED to go to the dentist - but I'm too frightend - please help me... I'm desperate

[cottonwoolbrain]

I've been avoiding the dentist for years. I actually chose months of toothache before a back tooth finally rotted out over going. this is not a mild phobia

I keep trying to go. Honestly I do. I can't even phone without my heart rate going up. I got some diazipam from the GP took it and managed to get as far as the front door of the surgery this morning - I couldn't go in. I burst into tears in the middle of the pavement and threw up.

This dentist says they take nervous patients and offer sedation - but I have to get through the door.... I have to actually open my mouth and talk to make an appointment, I have to go back for it, wait in the waiting room and actually open my mouth for them... then its going to hurt...and they'll be angry with the mess in my mouth.. and I won't have any control over what they're doing... I cant do it... I'd rather have smear tests twice a day every day for a year

My teeth are a mess. DP has to take the DCs to the dentist.

I'm sitting here shaking and crying just writing this post. I can feel my pulse racing.

No dentist is going to take me. Even a few years ago when I did finally make it in it was like I was in a trance, I cried all the way through and all they did was look in my mouth :(

probably the wrong place... so embarrassed

I really feel for you OP. I’ve had a phobia for ages and it had been over 20 years since I saw a dentist or hygienist. I started going in January having had an abscess which resulted in a look that Alvin Chipmunk would have aspired to!

I was petrified, I wouldn’t even sit in the chair at first, just stood by the door to talk so that I was ready to run. Once I sat in the chair, the examination was so much better than I expected. I was dreading hearing how bad it was as I knew my mouth was a mess. He promised that he wouldn’t be prodding anywhere with instruments so there’d definitely be no pain. The x-ray process was so much nicer than it was over 20 years ago.

I’ve needed a lot of fillings. Each time, he’s numbed my mouth with gel before giving the injections and I’ve honestly not felt a thing. He drums into me each time that if I feel even the tiniest thing then I’m to put my hand up and he’ll inject again. I too was really fearful of the pain afterwards, but there has been absolutely none.

I can honestly say that finding him (via recommendation from a friend) has completely changed things for me. Can’t believe how quickly I came to trust him and how much happier I feel now that my mouth is getting fixed.

I would definitely ask in your circle of friends for a recommendation. My friend reassured me so much about how he works, and this really did help me to take the first step as I trust her so much.

Good luck - you can do this.

I gave up on NHS dentists (long story) and went to see a private dentist. Like you I could barely walk through the door despite already being on Venlafaxine and Propanolol for anxiety.

He gave me 40mg of Diazepam - 20mg the night before, 20mg an hour before.

I don’t remember a bloody thing. Had a tooth removed, the gum stitched. Don’t recall any of it really.

Thank you so much for all your lovely replies. I sorry for not replying last night was too frightened even to come back and read the replies in case you all slated me. You've no idea what it means to me to know that

a) I'm not the only one - with such a strong phobia, its easy to think you might be. Yes i freeze when I see toothpaste commercials and I'm sitting here sobbing again writing this. I even used to have to walk out of the room when the Peppa Pig going to the dentist episode came on.

b) That the dentists on here understand and don't think I'm crap or rubbish or pathetic

I had a lot of ortohdental treatment as a child including having back teeth removed (possibly even wisdom teeth) before they were through under general anaesthetic. Also I had a dentist who just didn't understand I was frightend even then - I remember running and hiding under a table in the staff room and he told me off. Then I had another dentist but I was a teenager so used to tell my mum I'd been when I hadn't. Then finally in my early 30s (I'm 43 now) I had massive toothache, summoned up the courage to go again- found an nice dentist and managed for a year or two (he used to play calming music, stop whenever I asked and was very gentle) then he left and the next one was vile. He told me off for crying, told me to pull myself together and that he wouldn't treat me if I carried on acting like a child - and that was it... walked out.. never went back and that was 10 years ago.

I'm going to take all your advice. I know its procrastinating but I'm going to do it after the school holidays which are just about to start as otherwise the children will see me in floods of tears, probably dazed and hiding behind the curtains

My plan is to email the dentist half way through the holiday and explain what I've just written above about my dental history and also that I have a back tooth rotted out, a big hole in another and intermittent toothache. I'm going to ask if I can can visit then I'm going to ask GP for more diazipan and take it before I go and get DP to take me.... then I'll see where i can go from there.

I'm not going to be rushed - I'm going to do this at my own pace but by the end of May I intend to have visited the dentist and started treatment. I have to get through this

Good luck cotton you can do it. You will feel so much better when you have taken the first steps.

Good luck cotton - you will get there! (and then you'll be happy crying because you actually did it and feel like you need to tell everyone on the street after you've been for a check up on your own )

Good luck! You can do it. I had a terrible dentist phobia - when I finally got to the point where I needed to go I had to hide upstairs with my head under a pillow while DH rang and made the appointment for me. My dentist has been wonderful though, and now I don't even get so much as a flicker of anxiety before appointments. Once you get over the first hurdle it will get easier, I promise.

You can do this OP. You can take control and be pain free. Good luck!

Go you, you can do this! I did think you might have not been able to come back to the thread through fear 💐 But you can totally go through with it. Do tell your dentist if you are taking diazepam for the visit - mine said they liked to know for treatments for medical reasons. It was fine if I wanted to but they preferred to be aware. In the end I did it without as I wanted to face down my fear head on but that's just me, whatever works for you is good.

I was like you but that was because I was dicked around by some not very good dentists where I barely saw the same one twice.

I’ve since found an excellent one whom I’ve built up trust with.
I’ve had some horrendous treatment ...I won’t lie ...but together we have saved three teeth which probably wouldn’t have happened with the others.

I’m 67 my teeth aren’t suddenly going to refill the cavaliers with natural tooth, so we can only work with what we’ve got...but the roots are strong and they look pretty good
And I’ve got no toothache.

That’s where you need to be op 🤞👍

You can do this, and you'll feel so much better. I had huge dental phobia, I couldn't bear to listen to anyone talking about teeth, couldn't bring myself to even google a local dentist never mind phone up for an appointment.

After not going to a dentist for over 20 years I finally found the courage to take that first step. I wrote a letter explaining my fear, how ashamed I was of the state of my mouth etc etc.

Cut a long story short, it doesn't bother me now, phobia has gone. My dentist is amazing.

I don't have dental phobia, but I have RTFT and wanted to come on to say you are all bloody amazing to be able to face your fears and overcome them. And that it's so nice to hear dentists are so much more accepting of the fears and work with patients rather than judging them (some of the childhood stories are horrific). It's true treatment has come a long way but an understanding, non-judgemental professional makes a world of difference.

OP really well done for having a plan and best of luck to you.

anyone know of a dentist for really nervous patients in the
Manchester area,?