Is this a false widow? *image warning*

[FrankiesKnuckle]

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Won't upload the pic hang on....

This.....

Could be but hard to tell without close up of the body. False widow is a generic term for about five or six different spiders in the U.K. and they all have slightly different markings on their bodies. They’re harmless though.

It doesn't look like one from your photo - too big and the wrong colour/markings. False widows are brown with white markings on the abdomen and not that big - up to 15mm. It would also be a bit unusual to see one at this time of year.

From your image. I'd say no

Hmmm that's as close as I was prepared to get.

It's currently busy making a web and hiding between the bricks and soffitts.
I'm not particularly spider phobic but I'd like the know what's taking up squatting rights outside my patio doors.

It doesn't look like one from your photo - too big and the wrong colour/markings. False widows are brown with white markings on the abdomen and not that big - up to 15mm. It would also be a bit unusual to see one at this time of year.

The ones that have a nasty bite. Judas is right, more than one species are referred to as false widows.

We’ve got a few of those living in our cellar, OP...
Does it have a really shiny body?

I'm in the south, it's been quite mild apart from a sharp frost last night.

We get tunnel web spiders in our hedges in the summer.

Like I said I'm not particularly phobic more adverse to getting bitten!

OMG burn your house down!!! 🤣

I love how people say 'they are harmless' google Spider bite UK, then tell me they are harmless 🤮🤢

Yes quite shiny and looks almost black although there are some brownish markings on its body.
I'd say I still about the size of a 10pence.

It’s not one of the false widows we get round here, SE England. Get quite a few of them hanging around, had one living by our back door for months! I’ve been bitten once and it was less painful than a wasp sting.

I also think it’s too big for a false widow...so I’d take a deep breath and leave it, assuming it’s not an inside wall!!

No, thankfully outside!

Regardless of what it is I'll leave it alone (unless its some sort of mutant!)

No it isn't.

But would it matter if it was? They are really common. I see them every year. They are shy and don't actually want to kill you like the Daily Mail will have you believe.

people say 'they are harmless' google Spider bite UK, then tell me they are harmless
I’d recommend anyone with even a slight aversion to spiders to NOT google that 😂. And, well yes, but the fact remains the vast majority of spiders in the U.K. are harmless to the vast majority of people. You have to be very unlucky to have a reaction like anything seen on that search.
That spider does look black OP, maybe a tube web/segestria? I found one in my garden a couple,e of years ago (SE England), the green ‘fangs’ theyre known for were quite visible, but I’d understand if you didn’t want to go back for another look 😀.

I'd say that's more likely to be a tube web one. Awww.

I've only seen the tube web ones staring back at me from their lair in the hedges - all fangs and glinty eyes!
We get them every summer so I guess it one of those.... never seen one out of its web before.

I read the title as false window and was looking at the picture trying to spot the potentially fake glass. I wondered why OP put a warning on it but obviously didn’t think too much about it.

Get the blow-torch on that bad boy.

Only half joking.

It looks nasty and serious whatever it is

I had a False Widow living in the gap between my kitchen cupboard and the wall all summer last year. She'd watch me put the kettle on, I'd say hello and she'd get on with her spidery activities (largely protecting my flours and grains from moth attack). I dusted the bits of her web that spread out too far, she retreated as soon as the duster came out and then popped her head back out when I finished.

You really have to pester them to earn yourself a nip. I opened the cupboard door at least ten times a day. She never budged.

My evil useless gormless twat DP got heavy handed with the fucking fly spray (I hate that stuff, but he insists on buying and using it instead of just closing the bloody door) and murdered her.

RIP Winnie the Widow. I miss you.

@User10fuckingmillion some people are spider phobic. Courtesy really.

No I get it OP! I just misread the title!

we discovered some in our attic a few weeks ago...the guy who found them was doing some work on our house and told me one way to tell is to shine a light on their webs....they glisten like nylon, reflecting the light, where other webs in the attic were more "matte". He seemed to reckon that they've been around for decades (he found his first lot about 30 years ago) but some people react badly to the bites - hence the media scares.
Don't know if you can find any web there (but posting because it might help someone else if they are worried!).