Petty things that fuck me off no end

[Weebitawks]

Getting a recipe from a fucking food wanker blog post. Jesus. Find a recipe that you think looks good and you've got to scroll down for ages through utter fucking SHITE while they talk about the first time they had this with their husband on a trip to Venice and they remember the way the sun bounced of the rat infested canal every time they have this dish.

FFS just give me the fucking ingredients and they fucking method.

And thank you for sharing this recipe, because it does look delicious.

what

Something petty has just really annoyed me.

I’m a member of a local plastic-free waste-free group on fb and there’s a post about a mother’s chemical free existence (it is in the press today too)

I really want to post and point out that ALL her alternative products are still chemicals. Vinegar is made of chemicals, as is lemon, and EVERYTHING else she is using as an alternative.

I won’t do it though, because it will piss off the group and there is no need.

Cups!!! Raaaaaaaaghhh!!
Hahaha

Oh yes this really winds me up, I scroll down really fast to get past the ads and photos and drivel then I scroll too far down have to scroll back up..I spend all my time scrolling to find the right bit.

I followed a slimming world thing/person on Instagram to get ideas, dishes looked lovely so I want to see the recipe. The recipe is in their blog so go back to their profile for blog link then try to find the right recipe among the other million recipes in their blog.

I clicked on one recipe and one ingredient was (I went back to look up the word) ....

Sambal Oelek

Wtf is this!?

Yes cups give me the rage. Also cheap, easy meals that use up leftovers, but the ingredients list includes fillet steak and truffles and a host of stuff that I have never heard of never mind have ''leftover'. Wankers.

In fairness ‘cups’ is a specific unit of measurement in the States. I bought a nest of measuring cups, like measuring spoons, and it makes all those recipes really easy. It’s not like you can use a random coffee mug or something..

People who answer questions on amazon "sorry I don't know" or "probably I haven't tried it yet"
Or people who review things saying "bought as a gift but looks great"
You are no fucking help to anyone so stay away from the keyboard. Grrr

Tip for those stupid recipes. Select the "print" option and you should get a version without all the guff. Print as pdf then open that if you don't like the print preview.

The animated version of this is having to high speed scrub through about 90% of YouTube recipe content because having to listen to "Hey Guys! Just thought I'd share this with you..." (cue 15 minutes of pointless rambling about things like where to buy onions ( onions, ffs!) ) makes me want to reach through the screen and stab them in the eye with a fork.

You can also open them up in this, and remove pictures and info you don't need :D

www.printfriendly.com/?fbclid=IwAR3U47bDtu8d92yrCe0tLPbDktuxhh_roe0R3RpDAw6tNxwP0bgYP2SWdOM

Oh my goodness, Op, I alarmist posted the same thing yesterday! I'm very relieved to know I'm far from alone in finding this annoying. Recently, I find myself getting pissed off with things that most people around me seem to be not the least bit bothered by. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone

Hahaha Coffee.. or the people who downgrade a product because it's delivery was delayed/courier broke it/etc

Has no real bearing on the features and benefits of the product.

A local nitwit recently left a 0 star review on Trip advisor for a restaurant. She was incandescent with rage at their cheek in asking her not to consume products from other establishments whilst on their premises .... idiot.

@ineedtostopbeingsolazy Sambal Oelek

Sambal is an Asian chilli paste ingredient used in tons of recipes. You can get it quite easily in decent supermarkets, or even easier and cheaper in Asian supermarkets!

You can sub things like sriracha sauce but it's not quite the same.

My petty thing with online recipes is the fucking comment section,

"I made this cake but substituted every ingredient and it was shite so I'm giving in 1 star..."

You don't make the cake recipe then did you?!

If you look at recipes for cakes etc on the Guardian online, loads of comments say things like “200g sugar? No wonder there is an obesity crisis” or otherwise sanctimonious comments about cake-eating in general. Well if you are a healthy eating fanatic and don’t like baking why are you reading the sodding recipe?

Also, as touched on earlier, people who seem to think it is compulsory to leave reviews. “This book was bought as a present so I cannot comment”. “I have yet to receive this item”. “I have only just bought this hacksaw so cant rate it but it looks similar to my old one”.

Then the recipe is measured in fucking 'cups'

How does everyone have the same size cup though? I have several cups in my kitchen alone!

SosigDog

A cup is a standard measure in the US.

You can get online converters. PIA though!

A cup is not a standard unit of measurement. Measuring weight in volume is ABSURD.

A cup of flour, weighed 47291956 times will always have a different weight becaue of the density, air in the mix etc.

100 bastard grams is always 100 bastard grams. Fuck cups and Fahrenheit. Stupid shite that NOBODY else uses.

And don't get me started in the US to Metric conversation. 2 tablespoons = 45ml. 4fucking5ml of SESAME SEEDS AAARRRRGGGHHHH

@ineedtostopbeingsolazy

Sambal Oelek

I now feel really happy as I know what it is. I never know what anything is in wanky recipes but I know this.

I only know this as in my childhood my aunt was married to a Dutchman of Indonesian heritage (which is where sambal comes from AFAIK) and they were mainlining this stuff and we'd always get jars of it as gifts and we kids would play jokes on each other by putting it into cheese sarnies and passing it to each other without warning. It takes the roof of your mouth off. You're not missing much.

@Weebitawks you can save your anger for the arses who continue to stuff rubbish in the bin when the bin bag has slipped down. So the person changing it has to fish out the rubbish to retrieve the side of the bag

I really want to post and point out that ALL her alternative products are still chemicals. Vinegar is made of chemicals, as is lemon, and EVERYTHING else she is using as an alternative.

I agree. This is why we need proper science education. You could also have pointed out that she is probably over-using one of the most important chemicals on earth as a cleaner, universal solvent and beverage. I mean, it's not like the stuff falls out of the sky or anything - oh, hang on a sec...

Haha I feel your pain. I only go with BBC recipes online for this reason.