Does my child have OCD?

[herehear]

My ds is 7. He does have generally an anxious disposition and can be scared and worries about stuff. But it's been the usual scared of sleeping in complete darkness/ worries about being late / being told off etc.

For the last week or so he's been getting really distressed just before bed and says "horrible thoughts about death come in to his brain and he can't get them out". He is worried something bad will happen. He visibly becomes agitated and starts moving about becoming restless and I know that it's started before he even says anything as you can see hes visibly worried about something. If I tell him to just ignore it as we can all get intrusive thoughts sometimes but he says he can't get them out of his head. During the day he is fine. It's just before bed.

His brother has been sleeping with him to help him feel safe for the last few days. I don't know if that might make things worse in the long run.

Is this the beginning of OCD? Or just the usual fears kids have.

Bump!

I think its really difficult to tell. Kids are changing very quickly at this age (I have a 7yo too) and as they get more sophisticated in their thinking they start to understand some of the dangers of the world, and it can be overwhelming.

If the brother is happy doing that then I would encourage it. Feeling safe in your own house is important.

You can begin teaching anxiety management strategies...but they are hard to get the hang of if you are in the teeth of the storm so to speak.

We had a great book called 'worrier to warrior' that has info for parents and children and a lot of ways to talk about anxiety and to practically tackle it.

After a year of this, I now get advice from my DD whenever I say I'm worried about something at work. She'll give me a hug and remind me to check I'm not catastrophizing!

I meant to ask if you had a reason for thinking it might be OCD?

M3lon thank you for your reply. I'll have a look for the book. Ive bought a book called what to do when you worry too much

The reason why I've sorted jumped to OCD is because I have a dsis who has OCD and I know she gets really intrusive thoughts etc and I just sort of thought oh no, its this what's happening?!

M3lon

I'm looking for the book you suggested and
there are a couple but with slightly different front covers and price. Would you mind having a look at the Amazon link and tell me if it's the first one or the second. Thanks.

   <a class="break-all" href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_noss&k=worrier%20to%20warrior&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum--chat-3549056-Does-my-child-have-OCD" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_noss&k=worrier+to+warrior&tag=mumsnetforu03-21</a>

Definitely the Dan Peters ones!

I think we have the parents guide - it still has a lot of first person type content for the child.

I am not 100% sure though - so I can check when I get home this evening if you would like.

My DH has OCD so I'm rather hypersensitive to behaviour from my DD that is that way inclined. I think I've decided she has her own issues and they probably aren't OCD...but they sure do present that way sometimes.

She used to go through phases of not being able to put shoes on. She would wail about how they felt 'wrong' and throw them off and cry. This need for things to feel 'just right' seemed like a massive OCD red flag at the time, but actually now she's a bit older and we have more of shared language around anxiety I'm far less convinced.

Needing your shoes to feel just right would be an OCD thing, I think. But for DD its about her general level of anxiety...if its too high then she can sometimes have a flash point when trying to leave the house in particular and that manifests as hating shoes. But she doesn't even think about her shoes when her anxiety level is lower. In other words it was never about the shoes at all I think.

So your DS may have the beginnings of OCD but he may just be very very frightened of dying in his sleep (we are just emerging from that particular hell hole!).

Either way it will be easier to start learning to understand the way he feels if he isn't terrified of going to bed and getting no sleep! So while a lot of the book is about fighting back at some level, about challenging the way you feel, its also about tackling the small stuff and getting some small wins before trying anything major.

Tactical appeasement is kind of the name of the game!

I should also say that while this is a hard journey its really working for us. We started 2 years ago with a child who could barely leave the house and we now have a child that can acknowledge her emotions, discuss them, decide for herself which battles to fight and let us know where she is emotionally when things are not going so well, so we can slow things down and make sure we aren't pressuring her when she can't take it.

Its not plain sailing but its a huge improvement and she is genuinely blossoming in her confidence and her engagement with the world.

M3lon thank you. If you could check for me later that would be really appreciated.
I'm glad things are going well for you now.

I have OCD. I would say that doesn’t sound like OCD necessarily. OCD tends to involve intrusive thoughts, but often really odd ones. Like if I don’t touch my headboard 3 times, exactly the right way, someone will die.

Those sound like the usual worries of a sensitive, anxious child. If you aren’t noticing compulsive behaviours as a result, then unlikely to be OCD, but could be he’s anxious about something. At the same time, it’s also normal for children to go through periods of worrying and being kept awake at night, just like healthy grownups, particularly if there is a lot going on. I would keep an eye on it but also not make a big deal out of it either.

My DD has autism, OCD and anxiety, and what you describe sounds, to me, more like anxiety than OCD (in my limited and unqualified experience!) It does sound like quite high anxiety for a child that age, though.
Have you spoken to your GP or health visitor about it? Has his school noticed it or mentioned any problems?

Talk to him during the day. Ask him to explain how he feels, and whether he can think of anything that has happened to upset him.

He may have heard something at school, or seen something on the news. There could well be a reason why he is suddenly having these thoughts. Perhaps a video game or dvd he's seen at a friend's house, or a relative of one of his schoolfriends has died. It could be any number of things, but I suspect there is something that has triggered it.

If it can be pinpointed, then you will be able to allay his fears.

My dd1 had nightmares for weeks when she was about 5, because one of my friends had died of breast cancer, leaving two young children behind.

itsinchicago this is exactly what it is.

I've just spoken to him today after school when he's happy. And he said there was some sort of riddle that appeared suddenly midway when he was watching a football video on YouTube. I'm not sure what it was exactly but he said it was a riddle about death and was really scary. He didn't explain what it actually said and I didn't want to push him for more details for now. I don't know if its something similar to the momo thing on social media last year but I'm not really up to date with stuff like that so not sure what it was.

I checked then totally forgot to post. Yes we have the parents and teachers guide.

momo was a hoax. It could just have been a test your IQ riddle type advert...I've seen lots of those recently - it could easily have included someone dying...a lot are 'who committed the murder' type quizzes.

It probably doesn't matter that much what it actually said, just talk to him about what he is now frightened of, what it has caused him to worry about.