Rude songs of the type sung by cubs/scouts/similar

[EluphNaugeMeop]

I know I will regret this.

However, I seem to have had a minor breakthrough on getting DS to practice his musical instrument because he was so delighted to discover a song about poo (the muckspreader song) that he wants to play it (a very simplified version anyway) constantly.

Whilst obviously the constant singing about manure is somewhat unwelcome, I can put up with it for the joy of not having to deal with tantrums every time he has to practice. However some variety would be nice.

Can anyone recommend any other songs which are just rude enough to delight the purile sense of humour without being too awful or adult in content (still a kid)?

Anything by the singing kettle. Hellish for adults but great for kids. Don't know if they have song books but they used to do CDs (thanks fuck that's all in the past now).

How old is DS? There are comic verses about trains that fit Dvorak’s Humoresque, one of which has a sexual reference and is only suitable for older kids, but the earlier verses are ok.
My DD loved it when she was learning piano.

“Gentlemen will please refrain
From passing water while the train
Is standing in the station here at Crewe.
For railway workers underneath
Will get it in the eyes and teeth
And if they don’t like it
How the hell would you!”

Perhaps don’t tell him the next verse:
“Newly weds within the carriage
Do not consummate your marriage
For you know that really just won’t do
Save instead this natural function
Til you get to Clapham Junction
Where there’s really damn all else to do!”

There is the banana song, which ends up being quite disgusting, especially when sung by our troop. Starts off quite innocently with pick banana, peel banana but can go to puke banana, then pick up puked banana, eat banana and then ultimately poo banana.

To the tune of 'My Bonny Lies over the Ocean':

My old man's a lavatory cleaner,
He works seven days of the week,
And when he comes home for his supper,
He smells of the smell of the....

Shine your windows with rhubarb,
It's only three 'ha'pnies' a tin,
You can buy it, or nick it, from Woolworth's,
But I doubt if they have any in.

Some say that he died of a fever
Some say that he died of a fit
But I know what my old man died of
He died of the smell of the…

Some say that he’s buried in gravel
Some say that he’s buried in a pit
But, I know what my old man's buried in,
He’s buried in a great pile of…

My guiders loved me when I taught that to the rest of the pack!

Oh yes I remember the dad was a lavatory cleaner one now (I was a guide once a long long time ago but my mind was drawing a complete blank)

DS is 9 so references to poo, farts and sick all hilarious but a bit young for that verse 2 @babdoc - thanks all for the suggestions so far.

There's also the bumble bee song, which includes the verses:

I'm sicking up my baby bumble bee,
Won't my mummy be surprised at me!
I'm sicking up my baby bumble bee,
Sick! Sick! Sick, sick sick!

I'm licking up my baby bumble bee...