Is this too far for a day trip?

[FranklinTheCat]

We're planning a visit to MIL, who we've seen on an annual basis since DC was born, due to distance, lack of car (on both sides), location (rural area) and the fact that she is neither able nor willing to travel any distance to see us. I'll spare you the back story but trust me, there is one.

So the good news is we now have a car, which will make it easier to visit and to take her somewhere nice for lunch. We're due to visit in the near future. DP thinks we should do a day visit and accept being knackered. I am a bit concerned about this as I will be doing all the driving. Non-stop, it's potentially up to 3.5 hours each way, almost all motorways. Except we have a 3 year old so will have to stop (and to be honest, I would anyway for a break).

Is this insane? I worked it out last night and we would have to set off around 0700 to allow for a decent half hour break and to get to hers safely before midday. Then take her out for lunch somewhere nice but with a play area for DS, take her home, with a view to being back on the road between 1530 and 1600. Should be home around 2000/2030 depending on length of stop on the way back.

I'm now wondering whether we should go down the day before (Friday afternoon) and stay over somewhere, although it would obviously add to costs (we can't stay at the house).

My main concerns are whether I will be tired on the return journey as it's further than I've driven before in one day (have done 2hrs 40 in one go, and a journey that was two hours each way but am relatively new to long distance driving) and also whether DS will be all right in the car. He's not normally bad and can cope with a couple of hours, though gets bored (but that's been with just me and DP will be there) - but we haven't done a journey like this before.

Would you do it, or would you book the Premier Inn?!

I live around that distance from home, and without children it's knackering, I'm exhausted! So basically I would not attempt it for a day journey.

Honestly I would book the Premier Inn, enjoy a lovely breakfast and arrive at your MIL fresh. Doing that in a day is fine and ok when it's just adults but little children don't cope happily with that much shoehorned into one day. It's a recipe for tantrums and disasters.

Book.the hotel.

That distance would be OK for a day trip if both of you are sharing the driving (we’ve done it before today) but if it’s just person then I’d go down the night before if you can

With a 3 year old that trip will be more like 5 hours each way by the time he needs several weeks.Take magazines, toys on a tea tray and a tablet if you have one. I think it’s too much driving for one day.

I agree that it would be doable if you share the driving, but too much for one person.

Book the hotel.

Could you take an overnight bag with you and make a decision once you've had lunch?

That way, if you feel up to it you can get home, or perhaps go part of the way home, stay a night somewhere on the journey and then have a leisurely morning before the final leg.

Thanks all - that's what I thought. I will be doing all the driving and we can't share it. I think DP doesn't realise it's not like being on the train where we can get up and walk around, take DS to the buffet car, etc. I think DS would manage maybe two hours each way, and he will get a good run-around in the middle, but this feels just a bit too much to expect him to cope with, even abandoning usual rules around screens, etc...

I could do it on my own but it's not going to be fair in your child. They will need to stop more than once each way unless you want their behaviour to reflect the fact they are tired and uncomfortable. Book a premier inn type hotel for the night before, give yourself about a 30-minute drive the next day. Plan in some fresh air in the morning.

Premier inn or similar and drive home in the morning
You are doing 7 plus hours driving so it’s your choice if you want to do it all in one day or not

Possible but unpleasant so book the hotel.

You haven't faceted in possible traffic delays which could easily happen on. A motorway.

My daughter and I were coming back along the M4 and had an hour to go when the traffic slowed down and came to a standstill and it then took three hours instead of the one to get home.

Go the day before.

Definitely stay overnight. Look for a nice Air bandb. You can get some great places for a reasonable amount.

Definitely don't do the drive on one day. I recently drove ds somewhere for the day - 2.5hr each way plus lots of walking there and I nearly crashed on the way back on a poorly lit A road. I won't do it again as it wasn't safe for me and your trip is a lot longer.

I generally refuse to spend more time travelling than I do at the destination and I'm happy driving distances. My daily commute is an hour each way but I regularly go to sites which are 2-3 hours drive for day long meetings. I wouldn't rake thd kids though.
Mil lives 3.5hrs away from us and we don't do that for a weekend. We go for 2 nights minimum because otherwise the kids are naggy and I'm tense and grumpy and the whole thing is a nightmare.

We couldn't do it with our children. It's way too much. I assume your timings count on you leaving on time too. If you don't for any of multiple reasons then you're stuffed. What if you hit bad traffic? What if lunch is late?

We did a day trip to see family last summer which on paper was 2 hours each way. The journey home took 4.5 hours with stops and bad traffic. We'd left at 9am to arrive by midday ish, then we left at 6pm to be home by 8:30pm. In practice we weren't home until 10:30pm. It was hell and we were shattered. The children didn't even sleep in the next day!

I'd honestly book a Premier Inn and arrive feeling fresh and then you're not in so much of a rush.

I would do it on my own , but I like driving . How many actual miles is it each way ? As an example I did a 220 mile round trip last week to see an art exhibition with my dd , but I’ve also done Kent to Blackpool , Kent to Exeter and Kent to Disneyland Paris as a day trip .

We have done a similar length journey many times to visit an elderly aunt in a care home.

It is hard work but do-able.

I wouldn't do it one day even if there was a second driver. On your own it's positively dangerous. Can DH drive? I get the impression he doesn't understand what's involved.

I'd do hotel the night before rather than after the visit,your child will be more refreshed

It's doable. But not enjoyable.

@Transposers, I was wondering about that - maybe finding somewhere that's an hour or so into the return journey and staying there for a night to feel like we've had a weekend of it. For various reasons, if we go down the night before, it will be Friday and I don't really fancy the M25 in "start of rush hour" traffic.

@Jessicabrassica (love the nickname!), that's kind of my principle too.

And you're all right - I don't think it's fair on DS.

Actual distance? About 200 miles each way. Actually, when you put it like that, a 400 mile round trip is nuts. Job done. Thank you all!

Now to inform DP of the plan....I think his desire to only spend a day doing the visiting has got ahead of him

I'm starting to think premier inns are the answer to a lot of life's problems Book it!

Not fair on your 3 year old,not sensible for you to do all that driving in one day and short-changing your MiL on time with family.

Stay in a hotel.