Funeral reading help

[User24689]

Hi all,

Doing a funeral reading in 2 weeks for my lovely grandmother.

She was 97 and had been in poor health for some time. Still, it was a sudden and difficult end for her and we are all really saddened by her loss.

I am finding it hard though as a lot of readings allude to death being a sort of shock or tragedy and I don't feel that's fitting, because she lived such a long, great life. In many ways she was so lucky... But if course we all miss her so much.

She was religious and the funeral is in a church, but I am not religious. So although I have no problem with a religious reading or mention of God/ heaven, it feels a bit hypocritical if it's too much.

I also don't want anything too saccharine as my mum has vetoed several songs / poems others wanted on this basis, and she's right as we're quite a no nonsense family. Anyone know anything that might hit the right note?

I like this one - stopping after All is well

www.google.com/amp/s/m.poemhunter.com/poem-amp/death-is-nothing-at-all/

allpoetry.com/Gone-From-My-Sight
Sorry for your loss.

How about Fear no more the heat o'the sun, from Cymbeline.

Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages:
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.

Fear no more the frown o’ the great;
Thou art past the tyrant’s stroke;
Care no more to clothe and eat;
To thee the reed is as the oak:
The scepter, learning, physic, must
All follow this, and come to dust.

Fear no more the lightning flash,
Nor the all-dreaded thunder stone;
Fear not slander, censure rash;
Thou hast finished joy and moan:
All lovers young, all lovers must
Consign to thee, and come to dust.

No exorciser harm thee!
Nor no witchcraft charm thee!
Ghost unlaid forbear thee!
Nothing ill come near thee!
Quiet consummation have;
And renownèd be thy grave!

I read the poem 'She is Gone' at my cousin's funeral. It is about celebrating the life that was lived.

I read a poem at my grandmothers funeral called 'If roses grow in heaven' by Delores M Garcia, really lovely and we each laid a rose on her coffin afterwards.

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she’s gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

She Is Gone (He Is Gone)
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins

Bishop Brent - What is Dying

What is dying?
A ship sails and I stand watching
till she fades on the horizon,
and someone at my side
says, "She is gone".
Gone where? Gone from my sight,
that is all; she is just as
large as when I saw her...
the diminished size and total
loss of sight is in me, not in her,
and just at the moment
when someone at my side
says "she is gone", there are others
who are watching her coming,
and other voices take up the glad shout,
"there she comes!"

I’m sorry about your Gran.

I read Nod by Walter De La Mare at my grans funeral

SOFTLY along the road of evening,
In a twilight dim with rose,
Wrinkled with age, and drenched with dew
Old Nod, the shepherd, goes.

His drowsy flock streams on before him,

Their fleeces charged with gold,
To where the sun's last beam leans low
On Nod the shepherd's fold.

The hedge is quick and green with briar,
From their sand the conies creep;
And all the birds that fly in heaven
Flock singing home to sleep.

His lambs outnumber a noon's roses,
Yet, when night's shadows fall,
His blind old sheep-dog, Slumber-soon,

Misses not one of all.

His are the quiet steeps of dreamland,
The waters of no-more-pain;
His ram's bell rings 'neath an arch of stars,
"Rest, rest, and rest again."

"Instructions"

When I have moved beyond you in the adventure of life,
Gather in some pleasant place and there remember me
With spoken words, old and new.

Let a tear if you will, but let a smile come quickly
For I have loved the laughter of life.

Do not linger too long with your solemnities.

Go eat and talk, and when you can;
Follow a woodland trail, climb a high mountain,
Walk along the wild seashore,
Chew the thoughts of some book
Which challenges your soul.

Use your hands some bright day
To make a thing of beauty
Or to lift someone’s heavy load.

Though you mention not my name,
Though no thought of me crosses your mind,
I shall be with you,
For these have been the realities of my life for me.

And when you face some crisis with anguish.

When you walk alone with courage,
When you choose your path of right,
I shall be very close to you.

I have followed the valleys,
I have climbed the heights of life.

By Arnold Crompton

I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve done a couple of funeral readings recently. I’ve chosen a poem or reading that relates to a hobby or memory I shared with the person I lost. For example poem on skiing for one person and one on the looking out to the sea for another. Good luck. X

I read a poem by Emily Dickinson at my dad's funeral a couple of weeks ago. She was one of his favourite poets. I chopped a couple of verses for brevity, but left in the bit about school because he was a teacher. It just seemed to "fit".

Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –

The Carriage held but just Ourselves –

And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –

We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –

We passed the Setting Sun –

Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses’ Heads
Were toward Eternity –

I'm sorry for your loss, OP

Mg grandmother died two years ago in similar circumstances, she was 91. One of the reading was from Sirach 44, the Hymn to Our Ancestors:

www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Sirach+44&version=GNT

Thanks so much for these amazing replies! I'm just reading through every suggestion. This has been a huge help!

Love some of these! Emily Dickinson always.

OP I sent this to a relative on a death in her family and she had it read at the funeral:

Remember, by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

I read, not how did he die, but how did he live at my dads funeral. Could you use that and change the he do she?

I also love all of 'Clearances' by Seamus Heaney which is about the death of his mother. It's a lovely one to read yourself though as it just encapsulates dealing with loss of a loved one in very powerful but unsentimental language. Definitely not saccharine!

www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/57042/clearances

Finally, Crossing the bar is lovely by Tennyson but perhaps a bit too sea-ish? Always reminds me of Captain Jim in Anne of Green Gables (one of the sequels).

Sunset and evening star,

And one clear call for me!

And may there be no moaning of the bar,

When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,

Too full for sound and foam,

When that which drew from out the boundless deep

Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,

And after that the dark!

And may there be no sadness of farewell,

When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place

The flood may bear me far,

I hope to see my Pilot face to face

When I have cross’d the bar.

It was my BIL''s memorial service last week. He liked Maya Angelou's poems, so this was read:

When Great Trees Fall

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

by Maya Angelou

I read the poem She is Gone at my beloved Grandmothers funeral. I think it totally encapsulated what she would have said herself.

I also read a couple of Terry Pratchett quotes, as she was the worlds biggest Pratchett fan.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Xxx

Does it have to be a poem? I spoke at my grandmas funeral and just spoke about her and the memories I had. I also asked my cousins for memories so I could add them in.

Sorry for your loss

I read The Dash by Linda Ellis recently at a funeral and found it very moving.

I read of a man who stood to speak at a funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.
To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?