Has anyone on here ever divorced someone because they didn't lift a finger round the house???

[Bumbalaya]

DH and I have been having the same housework argument for years.
Every time we come back to it he improved for a week or so then slips back to mess and dirt blindness.
It makes me so fucking furious that he expects me to do everything I am seriously considering leaving him.
We have a gorgeous daughter together so I'd be heart broken for her but I just can't have her growing thinking that a woman's role is to to clean up a man's shit her whole life.
Where are the actually feminist men?

How does anyone change these dynamics? I've tried (what feels like) everything.

If he's not a total slob (as in wants to live in a clean environment), maybe don't do the housework and see if all the dirt etc piling up (no clean cutlery, dishes etc. left) will make him do it? Of course, if he's the type who doesn't care about living in mess, that's not going to be very helpful.

Why does he say he is incapable of FH ping his share?

What's his mother say on the matter?

Does he do the traditional men stuff like mow the lawn, DIY etc?

Not me, but a friend.
He was a lazy feckless git. He had one household job, and never did it. His area of responsibility was vile. She divorced him because the resentment killed any love or sexual attraction she had ever had.

She has a clean home and a nice new man now. Her DC say her ex lives in filth.

He does dona but of DIY here and there but that doesn't contribute to the daily functioning of our home. He just says he doesn't give a shit about the bathroom being dirty or the kitchen and it's how he's always been.
Fuck him 😡

i can see why a person would end a relationship over it. youve turned into the housekeeper, your partner's mum and that is so unattractive

Oh what am I talking about, that is half the reason I dumped my ex! She was a fucking lazy dirty slob (same sex relationship), we had a tiny kitchen always over flowing with dirty dishes, she got a cat but didn't change the litter tray anywhere near enough It was awful. She was also extremely argumentative and a bit jealous, all symptoms of a general lack of respect for me. Again it put me off the bedroom stuff and made me angry and resentful.

If that's his attitude whilst he's single and living in squalor, then fine.

But he has a wife and child and should be proud to contribute to making a clean and nice home with you.

I would see this as unreasonable behaviour and boot him out.

Yes. I have just moved into my own place and it’s winderful. I told him I didn’t love him anymore. His laziness and messiness was a huge turn off. He never did anything around the house. I have never been happier.
Yes, it’s not ideal. I wish he’d pulled his socks up. I gave him plenty of chances. But I just couldn’t stand being his mum and not his partner, his equal.