What word(s) best describes this kind of person?

[Cottagepienpeas]

Every occasion, others birthdays, holidays, Christmases, Easter, mothers day, any occasion like these dp has to sabagage and ruin it unless it's about him. He does this so it ends up about him. Yesterday he feigned illness so it would end up about him. What the name for this kinda person, saboteur, narcissist, selfish inconsiderate bastard?

I'm done, this is going to be tough but I'm done. He's a lazy selfish arse and nothing is ever his fault, ever. He's cold has no empathy, he doesn't appreciate anything, he is the centre of his world.

Guess I wanted a word to understand him, to avoid it in the future and to throw at him when I give him my break up speech!

Narcissist is the word you want.
You'll never win, he's far too important in his own mind.
Just end it.

My MIL was like that, I was glad when she died and I didn't have to deal with her selfish behaviour.

Typical narcissistic behaviour (I know...)

You know when you get to that point that the way someone eats, breathes, even BLINKS you have to walk out of the room as you simply cannot stand even these wee things. That's where I'm at now. He's home I'm on edge and have to go out, his stupid smug face makes me sick. He has had a miraculous recovery since yesterday BTW.

I'm wondering if I even love him anymore.

It sounds as if you have the best words already -'I'm done with your behaviour'.

Don't try and label him. He won't recognise it.

Sometimes less is more

Ex?

I'm wondering if I even love him anymore.

Sounds as though you don't like him very much.

I wouldn't waste my energy in my break up speech trying to explain why you are leaving. Just pick one sentence like you are too selfish for me and don't elaborate. He won't see it and you will get more frustrated. Head up and keep your dignity.

How old are your dc op ?

They are 11, 3 and 1. So this isn't a casual relationship it is, was serious.
He will be the one who leaves. I really don't want this but I cannot cope with someone so selfish.

Have you anyone you can speak to in rl ?
Is there somewhere your dh could go for a few nights?

Not really irl we only moved here a few months ago due to his work.

I don't see what a few nights away would do?