How can I chill out on maternity leave, I'm dreading the inevitable

[Firsttimemummy19]

I'm 3 months into my maternity leave (taking a full year off) and it's going so fast. Im absolutely dreading going back to work but we can't afford for me not to work at all.

I could cry thinking about it and it crosses my mind everyday.

How do others cope? Surely I'm not alone wanting to stay at home and bring up my much wanted little baby?

Can you go back part time?

I doubt my work will allow it as it's a specific role I do on my own, unless they can get job share but they've had problems recruiting for the role before so I doubt they would go for it

You must at least ask.

For the first 10 months of returning I worked 4.5days a week. Working one morning a week from home and having my afternoon free- eased me back in and didnt feel so painful. You are entitled to ask.

You are only three months in. You may feel differently towards the end of your year off.
Enjoy now, don't worry about what will be.

Having been there fairly recently, I felt the same. They seem so tiny and leaving them seems completely out of the question. They grow and change son much in the first year though that leaving a one year old is so utterly different to leaving a 3 month old.
Saying that, I did our back my return to a full year after planning to return at 9 months, even that made a big difference.
I also only work part time, 3 days split with 2 days off in the middle of the week.

Put back

I'll definitely ask, beg & plead.

I really need to just chill out for now and try and put it to the back of my mind.

Honestly I think you might feel differently in another 9 months time.

You could always add the 12 weeks parental leave at the end of your maternity leave. However I'm fairly sure they're unpaid, so not sure how that would affect your decision.

And employers only have to give one week unpaid parental leave at a time. And the op would have no unpaid leave left to take ever.

Does everyone get 12 weeks parental leave? Ive never heard of it. Can I take a week a month or something like that?

You can take unpaid parental leave, but it's a risk taking it all in one go as then you wouldn't have any available if you had an emergency and needed to take the time off.

Are you going in for any KIT days? That can help to ease you back in.

www.gov.uk/parental-leave

I feel like you’re worrying unnecessarily. I am 5 months in to my mat leave and go back in 2 months. It makes me sad but I can’t stay off forever and that’s that. I probably felt a bit like you a couple of months ago but KIT days have helped.

You might feel differently after a while when the hormones calm down. I was like this at 3 months. Pretty much ran back to work in the end. Peace and quiet, relative poverty and human intereaction won out. Also, looking after a 3 month old is very different to looking after a hazard-seeking toddler all day. Try to relax and not worry about how you might or might not feel in the future.

(Unless the poster above is referring to their employer’s own scheme) you can’t take more than 4 weeks of your unpaid parental leave entitlement in any one year.

You stop thinking about it, OP. Get your nursery/childcare in place ready for your return ASAP, and then stop torturing yourself. Your baby is still v new and there is a long way to go yet.

I'm in Ireland and you can take more. I think I took 28 weeks maternity, 16 unpaid maternity and 8 weeks parental leave. Over a year off.