How do I let someone down gently?

[MakeUpGirl]

My dad has suggested my daughter and I go visit him when I can take some time off work. He’s quite unwell and I’d really like to spend some time with him but I’ve looked into going and just don’t think we can at the moment

He lives several hundred miles away and the trip would be 5 train changes with DD who’s 4 and luggage for us both with quite tight timings between trains
It’ll also cost about £300 and that’s if I don’t pay for a seat for DD who can’t really sit on my knee for 5 hours of travelling
Lastly once we got there we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere as he lives quite rurally and wouldn’t have a car seat for DD

How do I tell him we can’t go until my partner can come with us - possibly late August - without hurting him

Have you spoken to a train ticket company to check the cheapest route? My family come from the North to Surrey and always come via Reading rather than through London. Then there’s a direct train to Guildford and onwards towards Gatwick. Worth checking out the various options if you haven’t already.

If your daughter is 4 then you could consider getting a mifold which adapts car seatbelts to the height of the child. They can be used from age 4 and are basically the size of a travel changing mat/ but bigger than a packet of wipes. They are about £25 on Amazon I think.
mifold The Grab and Go Booster seat, Slate Grey www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N9UPQQW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_3f-NCbW3VS4H8?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Dragonfly is right - take the direct train to Reading then it's an easy change in a pleasant, middle-sized station to get a direct train to Guildford.

Newcastle direct to Guildford via Reading is about 80 quid one way on an Advance ticket. Takes about 5 and a half hours, which DP did the equivalent of with his DD London - Devon with her in a buggy a few years back when she was about 3. That's before you get into splits - but avoiding London altogether is a possibility.

That sounds brilliant thanks, will take a look at reading and hopefully be able to book it

Off topic but for photo ID internal airlines will accept a Validate card. I got one when I had to fly up to Scotland suddenly for family reasons and my passport was out of date. Was about £20.
Validate

Don't write off the coach. Research it. They have WiFi, loos, stop for breaks. You can try and keep your daughter entertained. Maybe take a coach late in the day and she can sleep.

@Makeupgirl

I've done a similar journey with my teen DD in a wheelchair & also have to go through London to get to the North West.

Use the busses to get across London, I found one bus from outside Euston that took me straight to Victoria station for example, MUCH easier with luggage & a buggy on the busses, roll on, roll off, no escalators, which I hated doing when mine was small.

You can't pay with cash on London buses now, but you can pay with your debit card. Otherwise it's an oyster card, which you buy at the station, but is a bit of a con for one journey as you have to pay a deposit on the card, so try & use a debit card.

It's very daunting, but honestly, it is doable & much easier than you think

Can you do the car hire? It's worth looking at some of the deals. You can then avoid London altogether, quicker journey, and stop when you like, plus have car to do things and get out whilst there?