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Top tips needed for full time working single mum

17 replies

Chocolatecake12 · 30/03/2019 08:15

I’m exhausted! Started working full time again after years of only part time work.
How do others manage to run a house? Food shop? Do all the washing/ironing/cleaning without it taking over the weekends?
My evenings are spent running the kids about to various activities.
By Friday I’m tired, grumpy and facing a weekend getting ready for it all to start again on Monday.
How do others manage? Any tips for making it a bit easier? Where am I going wrong?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 30/03/2019 08:19

Food shop on line.
Get kids to help if old enough.
Do a little everyday without it building up.
Stop ironing.

rightreckoner · 30/03/2019 08:19

Food shop is all online. I have a cleaner also - without this I would be even more exhausted than I am. Is that an option financially ?

Dcs have to be quite self reliant. They don’t get to go to every party or activity because I need some moments in my life when I’m not ferrying them around.

motheroreily · 30/03/2019 08:21

I have cleaner who comes for 2 hours a fortnight. It costs £25. I also bought a dishwasher. I know it's alot of money but it helps so much.

I also lower my standards with cooking. I try and do a couple of cooking from scratch meals at the weekend and freeze them. Then do a couple of easy dinners in the week too eg one jar sauce dinner and one freezer food dinner.

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anniehm · 30/03/2019 08:21

Online food shop (in your lunch break) everyone helps. If you can afford a fortnightly clean for the bathroom and kitchen go for it. Be realistic with what you can achieve - let them be self reliant

Chilledout11 · 30/03/2019 08:22

It's hard. But doing one main job a night helps. Also batch cooking (slow cooker is good)

I even batch cook mashed potato to save me work during the week (freeze it) or quick pasta pesto meal and while that's cooking I iron for 15 mins. 4 sets if uniform for dc helps.

Decluttering helps massively

rightreckoner · 30/03/2019 08:23

And yes stop ironing. I don’t buy clothes that need ironing. Also I don’t wash things that don’t need washing. Underwear and dirty clothes need washing. Everything else can be worn a few times.

Charley50 · 30/03/2019 08:33

What everyone else said about food shopping online.
Tiny bit of cleaning / clearing every night so not much to do at weekend.
Get kids to help.
Declutter.
Buy non-iron school shirts.
I hardly have anything I need to iron. Be organised with own clothes.
Only drink alcohol at weekends
(If you drink).
It gets easier.

Nnnnnineteen · 30/03/2019 10:02

Don't let your kids have activities every night! If you don't have time to do the basic stuff, something has to give and maybe one activity each, assuming you don't have 5 children, would be easier.
Drop your standards, don't put off school or house admin and always have an emergency milk, emergency dinner, bit of cash and stress reliever of choice (wine/choc etc) up your metaphorical sleeve in event of one of those days.

whenthewhistleblows · 30/03/2019 11:17

I find the key to successful single parenting whilst working full time is a fine balance of a lot of shouting with remarkably low standards.

If, at the end of the day, you can say to yourself ‘everyone fed, no one dead’ then reward yourself with a large glass of Chablis. Even the ‘everyone fed’ bit has wiggle room with it being open to interpretation.

Charley50 · 30/03/2019 11:32

whenthe - you've nailed it!

ChiaraRimini · 30/03/2019 11:39

How old are the kids? It gets so much easier as they get older and more independent. My older two take turns to cook every night.
We don't tend to do weekends away or big days out at the weekend anymore as we are all tired from work/school and every other weekend they have to travel to their Dads. So weekends are for pottering around, catching up on homework and maybe seeing friends. I don't have a cleaner as can't afford it so I do big cleans when they are at their Dads and the bare minimum when they are here. Youngest DC only does one club as she is in after school childcare every day. But we get along ok. It's a more relaxed household without their Dad-although he was usually at work or out doing hobbies so hardly saw them anyway.

TeddyIsaHe · 30/03/2019 11:44

I use Gousto so I don’t need to think about evening meals during the week. Online shop for breakfast/lunch/cleaning etc.

A cleaner if your budget allows. 2 hours once a week and I just have to tidy now. Game changer.

I stick a load of washing in every morning and take it out when I get home. A tumble dryer is the Best Buy, an hour later clothes are dry and I fold them and take them up when I go to bed.

Dd goes to her dads on a Sunday, so I make sure Saturdays are our relaxing day. We potter, watch films, eat nice food and don’t stress. She’s busy all week (only 2.4) and we’re both shattered. Feel like we’ve got a good balance so far.

SilverGoldBronze · 30/03/2019 11:48
  • I don’t iron.
  • I’ve lowered my standards with housework. School jumpers/trousers will often last several wears if not dirty.
  • I don’t cook from scratch every night. Or if I do, it’s often something v easy like pasta with tuna and sweetcorn.
  • I do stuff in my lunchbreak - online shop, pay bills, admin phone calls etc.
  • My kids do one after school activity a week each. I simply cannot cope with anything more. I’m lucky that their school offers sports clubs before school. So they both do dance and tennis before school starts.
  • Packed lunches are always prepared the night before and clothes laid out (even mine!)
  • I write everything I need to remember on our kitchen calendar straight away. Keeps me on top of mufti days/sports fixtures etc.
Ratonastick · 30/03/2019 12:02

Bring in any help you can. That means cleaner, gardener, outsource your ironing (or don’t do it), etc. Also keep dinners simple, limit DC activities to one or two a week only, use after school clubs/holiday clubs/homework clubs, etc. And make sure DC learn self sufficiency and expect (and train) them to help from an early age, which is good for them anyway.
Basically don’t be afraid to grab anything that makes life easier for you. And make sure you look after yourself too. It’s easy to fall into a rut of worrying about everyone except yourself then waking up one day feeling depressed, martyred, etc which is no good for anyone.

faeveren · 30/03/2019 12:35

You can’t, not without lowering your expectations. I was shocked at the difference it made when I went part time to full time. It’s impossible to keep house, home and sanity the same on full time work as it is part time. Squeezing stuff into my lunch hour meant I never had a break as that could be the only time I stopped all day until bed time.

So first I learned to ignore what wasn’t necessary and decided some things weren’t important.

As little ironing as possible, dettol spray and cloth for wiping surfaces means cleaning happens less. simple meals, slow cooker and making more when I did cook and batch cooking when I could. I got a taste for frozen veg.

Box at the bottom of the stairs to put stuff in to take up later and half an hour before bed making sure I had everything at hand for the morning. I am organised but I can never do things in the time many Mumsnetters do, 3 minutes for make up, a quick 2 minute tidy, etc

Buying in help works if your net wage covers their gross, my travel costs increased, my childcare costs increased, even my work expenses increased. The cost of a 2 hour clean is worth every penny though, I seem to gain more than 2 hours by paying for this.

I do as much food, clothes and gift shopping as I can online.

bridgetosomewhere · 30/03/2019 14:53

Food shop delivery on a Sunday
Batch cook Sunday afternoon for freezer (Boring but helps midweek)
Put a Wash on every day when you get in and hang up after tea.
I get up about 6.30 so I've got time to put washing away, make packed lunches if I've forgotten, quick hoover round etc
I hate getting up early but it's amazing how much you can get done.

Chocolatecake12 · 30/03/2019 15:31

Thank you for everyone’s replies.
I’ve so far today placed a click and collect order for Tuesday - it was free! But a Sunday delivery is a good idea so I could batch cook during the afternoon.
Can’t afford a cleaner at the moment but that may change down the line.
The kids are 17 and 12. They do help out - emptying the dishwasher, running the hoover round and 12 yr old cleans out the rabbit hutch. I’ve just taught 17 yr old how to iron a t shirt - should have done it a long time ago!! He’s going to take over doing that now so that’s progress.
They don’t do loads of clubs after school - ds17 volunteers once a week and I collect him from school on the days he does badminton and d of e, but he can walk or cycle home.
Ds12 goes to an indoor skate park that I take and collect him from and scouts. Then it’s lifts home from friends houses.
I’m goung to get more organised as I think that will help and as a pp suggested maybe get up a bit earlier to get a few bits done which will be easier now it’s lighter in the mornings!

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