Moved house and can't stop crying

[Janmh]

4 months ago we moved from our beautiful big flat in the middle of a fantastic area and 5 minutes to shops and pubs and buses, to a big suburban house which seems like it's on the moon by comparison. We moved to escape what seemed like a big service charge (tho now I would happily pay it forever) and because we didn't have our own garden or outside space. (There was a communal garden which wasn't too bad, I now realise).
The thing is, I can't stop obsessing about the flat (home for 20 years) and what a stupid thing it was to move. We can never afford to go back and the flat was pretty unique in its size and location. Every night I start feeling incredibly sad, to the point of sobbing, and every time I wake up I immediately remember what's happened and actually start crying. This has gone on for 4 months! My OH, who didn't want to move anyway, is so angry with me. I'm sleeping in the spare room because my night time wailing is so disturbing. I'm at my wit's end. Can anyone offer any comforting advice, or have I really just done the stupidest thing ever in the history of stupid things.

It's still early days.

Look at your home and think of the positive reasons for moving there.
Finish any unpacking / sorting out after the move and make your house into your home.
Explore your new area, get connected to it.
Look forward to the summer in your new home.

Then, if it is still really awful, look to move again. Life is too short to be unhappy in your home.

Oh you poor thing! That must be so hard. Remember that is a huge change, and your brain hasn't caught up yet. For 20 years you've associated 'home' and feelings of comfort and security with one place, and although you had excellent reasons for moving, in 4 months your brain physically hasn't formed the connections/synapses that tell you that your new home means safety and comfort as well. I was like this after ending a relationship. I was so relieved it was over, but so sad for a few months. It will pass.

Give yourself lots of grace, and don't try and force yourself to feel differently. I would recommend doing things to get involved in your new community, and maybe if you have the finances buy a couple of sweet things for your new home, to try and encourage positive feelings. But the misery part won't last forever. Promise!

How far are you from the shops etc?

Our about 25-30 minutes walk away, but there are regular buses within 5 minutes walk and cycling cuts the time down to maybe 12 minutes. Are there no buses from the suburbs into town where you are? Cycling can be a great option too, especially as we are coming into summer.

Have you got yourself some garden furniture, preferably that's lovely and comfortable? Start sitting out in the evenings after work, with a drink of choice (I like tonic and lemon or homemade iced tea if you want something nice that isn't boozy - sometimes if I feel low alcohol makes it worse). That way you'll be getting the chance to appreciate and enjoy your garden.

I would also have a think about the state of the house and garden. Are they a) nice enough you're satisfied? b) changed enough from when you moved in you don't feel like you're living in someone else's house and c) low enough maintenance for you to get to enjoy the garden rather than it constantly needing work?

I cried about the house for weeks. The previous place was warmer, better decorated, lovely modern clean kitchen. The new place was dirty and needed doing up. I worried buying it had been a terrible mistake. But now it's clean and tidy and has a new (self fitted, bargain basement but still really nice) kitchen and I love it.