Dilemma over new guy

[Jaybright]

Please help! It's 1am and I'm wide awake as I can't get this off my mind.

There's a lovely guy who regularly visits my workplace (not a patient) who I really like and who I feel really likes me too.
At first I didn't think much of the connection we had as I was going through a separation from my husband who's now my ex.

But earlier this month when we met again at work after several months had passed I wasn't sure what to think but he still seemed to be showing a lot of interest.

I found that I had my guard up as I was still going through a healing process following years of emotional abuse from my husband (that relationship ended last year).

I was really concerned about scarying the new guy away so I decided to reach out (I didn't think he would as I was sure he could sense I had my guard up) so I reached out by text hoping we could spend some time together to get to know each other just as friends for now.

Sadly he didn't respond so I decided to call. (By this point I had a feeling that my boss had probably warned him off as he was holding as grudge against me). I couldn't bring myself to ask about my boss but we did arrange to meet this week.

Sadly he didn't show up and didn't contact me to say why. I really have no idea what to do now. I'm torn between making no contact and letting it go or calling him to find out whether the sudden lack of interest had anything to do with my boss.

Please what do you think? What would you guys do if you were in this position? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm not very experienced in this area of life. Thanks.

Yes daisychain01 you're probably right. Thanks.

Thanks Hellywelly10. Definitely won't bother again.

"I'm not sure I asked him out (but maybe I just don't see it that way)."

"I simply texted to say next time you happen to be at my workplace we could catch up (only intending it to be a friendly catch up at work and nothing more) as this is just what we naturally gravitate to doing most of the time when he visits if I'm not too busy working."

Based on this update, I don't see that he's done anything wrong. You haven't asked him out. He hasn't stood you up if you simply asked to catch up next time you see him at work. Doesn't sound like he even has any idea you like him in that way.

FairyMoppings, yes that was what I texted him but I think you might have missed the message where when I spoke to him on the phone days later he arranged to meet up with me during week.

Even though he didn't have any prior arrangements to visit my workplace. And this wasn't my suggestion.
Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding on his part. I've tried to look at it from all angles but either way I won't make any more contact.

He’s possibly just a friendly and maybe flirtatious guy who didn’t expect to be taken seriously and approached.

That’s twice now that he has effectively rebuffed you so leaving the work situation aside, he had the opportunity but didn’t take it. I can only assume he’s not interested.

Do think flirty people should be aware that their demeanour has an impact on those they sparkle at. I’m sure it’s a lovely ego boost for them but maybe not strictly fair on the recipient who may well misread the intention. I think it was cowardly of him to ignore your message and stand you up. He should have declined in the first place.

Absolutely don’t contact him again. Xx

Thanks pictish xx

Actually @Jaybright it sounds as though there's more of a problem with your boss if you think he/she is warning people off you. You've mentioned that several times in your post.