Need help. ASD. OCD. Meltdown and stress

[meltdownhp]

I have the above
I have phobias of certain things. Family and friends aware

I have had a stressful day. A close family member took the opportunity at that time to create an ‘exposure therapy’ type idea with me and has caused me to have a massive meltdown. I have been sick and am still shaking now a long time after it happened and I have had to put right what they did IN MY HOME.

I can’t stop crying I feel betrayed now they are trying to minimise it and play the victim because my reaction was so angry

I need to calm down and I don’t know what to do I was already stressed and it’s pushed me over the edge.
Repeatedly for years I’ve let people know what I can’t cope with and can’t process and to deliberately bring something to my home that I’m petrified of and now I have to obsessively clean is too much I was not expecting to open the door and be confronted like that it’s not funny like they thought initially.
I need to calm down

I’ve been told with a smirk ‘well it’s done now and you’re still here. You did well (smirking and patronising).ive done you a favour this is the first step and you sound fine now so it wasn’t as bad as you expected was it???’

‘This is the reaction I get for trying to help’

Yes. Yes it is. I’m absolutely destroyed and feel betrayed

They decided to just expose you to something they know you have a phobia of? Without your consent?

If I've understood correctly, what they did was awful. That is not how exposure therapy works.

What can you do that will help you calm down?

Meditation. It's not going to make your feelings go away but it will take the edge of that immediate feeling. The video is only ten minutes long and it might take you eight minutes to even start to calm down, but that's fine, it's all in the right direction.

yogawithadriene.com/meditation-to-restore-inner-peace/

I take it you've got rid of the offending people? If not tell them to get out your home. And a big old "fuck off" as they go.

Yes exactly that and I’m shaking still I can’t believe it
I feel so sick

If you want to talk to a real person you can call the Samaritans on 116 123. They're good listeners.

Can you say what it was that your relative brought in?

If cleaning will help you feel calmer then do that for now.

That was mean and very cruel! would asking them to leave help you re regulate better? if so, then tell them to get the fuck out of your home.

They’ve gone I lost my temper

Good! now what normally helps you recover from a meltdown?

Going to sleep usually but i can’t as not long after they left the children dropped off so I’m still in a state of alert and can’t just go to bed
I’m trying to distract myself with cleaning and cooking but I keep crying and I don’t want children to see

Oh bless you I dont personally think you should worry about your children seeing you cry, its ok for Mums to feel sad, just explain that you feel upset, but you will be fine.

After a meltdown my son needs sensory input sometimes he likes to be held really tightly or have me pat his back up and down, up and down or stroke his arms from top to bottom repeatedly. Other times he bounces on a trampoline or the fit ball. While other times he needs to hide away under a blanket or a table hugging himself.
What sensory input helps you after a meltdown?
And doing what makes you feel safe? Hiding under things where he can’t be seen makes my son feel safe.
Please do what makes you feel safe and if possible gives you sensory input.
This person had no right to invade your private space and remove your control in your own home.

I fully understand your meltdown and anger.