Hi all,
New to this...
I have one child, aged 3. was with my partner 9 years when i gave birth. Everything was great then OH got depression but was adament he was fine.
He would lie on the sofa not doing anything, his personality changed. Little one was now nearly 1.
I told him he needed help or to leave as it was a nightmare looking after a baby and a man. He chose to leave..
He then got with someone from work, played happy families for a year. Came to drop little one off and kissed me and said he made a mistake and wanted to come back and that he would leave his fancy bit.
I agreed. But it took him ages to leave her. we were having sex behind her back.
He came back to the family home after a year apart.
He seems different. we have now been back together a year and he's forever putting me down or disagreeing with how i parent.
Everything i do is wrong. I feel so low.
He doesn't treat me how he used to. we used to be so close and always cuddling etc but now i walk behind him and my boy if we are out as i dont feel part of it.
I am not allowed to put any pictures of us on social media incase his psycho ex finds them as he didnt tell her he was leaving her to come back to me?
I feel like he's here just for my son.
Don't get me wrong theres some days where he is lovely and then theres a switch and its back to bickering.
He doesnt compliment me, he says i dont wear sexy underwear, said my body isnt in shape and ive started to go the gym to try and improve that. I lost 3 stone when we seperated through stress.
We went out with friends the other night, he didnt hold my hand, hardly spoke to me and didnt say i looked nice. He just said ive finally done my make up nice.
I love him but not how i used to because of how he treats me.
I'd like more children but he said he doesnt.
Iam sure he suffered with post natal depression but blames me for telling him to leave as the cause of it all.
Today i felt like I'd be better off not here. I don't think id ever have it in me to end my life and i wouldnt leave my son but iam just lost.
My friends are all happy and getting married which is another thing he has said he doesnt want. Id like to get married one day.
Help and advice welcome?
I feel lost. 😥
sorry its long. but thank u if u have got to reading here!