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Please help me! I'm such an awkward person!

7 replies

Helpmebecool · 29/03/2019 14:19

I'm the person who always seems to get things wrong, like park in a not very sensible place, (even though I probably deliberated over what would be best!) get into your way in the shops and just generally be awkward. I "Dad Dance" and when I'm feeling nervous I always say the wrong bloody thing!

Videos of myself if I know I'm being filmed are excruciatingly embarrassing, as if I don't know where the look and glance at the camera.

My parents are wonderful and I don't mean this as a criticism of them at all but they are both very similar. I feel like this is my Achille's heel as although I've been successful with my career and run my own team I felt I could be a much more effective leader if I was less... well.. awkward!

I think it could be a combination of an actual problem and also associated self consciousness that means I both come across as unsure but also overinflate incidents in my mind afterwards. It's verified by others though that I can be pretty awkward. I guess it's a self fulfilling prophecy as when I feel self confident (and I can often fake it by thinking through scenarios and how I'll act and what I'll say in advance, right down to body language)

I'm pretty good at self improvement and I've changed a huge amount as I've got older but I really want to improve my mannerisms and become more assertive as I have a 1 year old and I don't want her to take after me. DH is the opposite though so hopefully she'll learn from him!

I believe in acting on things but don't really know where else to look - are there books on say body language coaching that might help? Hypnotherapy? Acting courses? I'll try anything!

OP posts:
Helpmebecool · 29/03/2019 14:20

Should say when I feel self confident, I'm nowhere near as bad!

OP posts:
Palominoo · 29/03/2019 14:30

Mr Bean has made a fortune out of being awkward!

Sound like nerves get the better of you sometimes and you become a bit of a klutz.

I'm sure everyone else finds you very endearing but if it's upsetting you then maybe find ways to counter your nerves.

Don't reply to things immediately, think before you speak.

Don't feel you have to rush etc

Helpmebecool · 29/03/2019 14:40

That link seems accurate, thank you.

I think I used to play up to a little as people did seem to find it cute, but as I've got older I've realised it's not doing me any favours to career wise and actually I then find it frustrating when others don't take me seriously since I'm pretty knowledgeable and was very good at my job (and as a manager I understand very well how to get the best out of my team and business strategy - it's just implementing it that I can find challenging due to my limitations!)

It's weird because when I was little I was the most confident -annoying and precocious thing- child ever.

Helpmebecool · 29/03/2019 14:41

Strikethrough fail there

Roomba · 29/03/2019 15:20

Not sure I have any advice, just sympathy as I am Mrs Awkward and Clumsy. I feel like a female Mr Bean sometimes Grin I know some of it is my Dyspraxia, certainly the clumsiness. But tbh most of it is just me being self conscious and cringing at myself after I've done or said something.

As I'm getting into middle age, I've started giving far less of a toss what others think of me, which has helped enormously. I recognise now that most people don't even notice if I'm a bit awkward, if they do and judge me for it, stuff 'em. I have good manners, try to be kind and respectful, have friends and family who love me, so I can't be doing too badly. I'm sure you're nowhere near as awkward as you think - it's your self confidence that you need to work on as I'm also much worse when I feel self conscious.

SurgeHopper · 29/03/2019 15:54

You're not awkward, you're British

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