Why is there so much focus on how women look?

[Bedsidedrawer]

It seems to be all pervasive culturally, societally, psychologically.

Is it men who have dictated this state of being?

It’s largely economic. The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is a good read on the subject.

I think it comes from women more than men, to be honest.

In a way yes. Historically to get on in life for a woman meant marrying a rich mate. So your sex appeal determined your future prospects.

Money. Society is run commercially.
When women escaped the households into paid employment, there was a gap for how to extract that money back from them; so for the last century, advertisers and product makers have perpetuated a series of myths about what women need to be - all so they can sell their products.

There are various threads here about shaving, etc, from arms to nether regions. The underlying question - who is getting paid as a result of this behaviour? Do you think Gillette merely waited around for some trend to come along to boost sales? Or did they try to, err, encourage one?

Up to late Victorian times, female appearance was regarded as less of a concern than male appearance. The Greeks were obsessed with male beauty (Kallios, one of the 3 graces). A 'perfect' woman in their book would be unworthy of mention [Helen of Sparta was part God before someone raises that].
Romans preferred meek and mousey women, with preening males. A concept that stuck with us throughout the middle ages - see museums for clothing of those eras - you get some highborn ladies dressed up like trophies, the rest are like mallard ducks (bright male plumage, dowdy girls).
Why was it this way? Who had all the money to spend?

Now, beauty is for women and men have gone from mallards to magpies - building glitzy nests to attract mates. Interestingly, the same period saw a switch in popular psyche from women being viewed as the promiscuous sex to men.