How to handle a delicate work question

[onegrapeshortofabunch]

I work in a relatively niche sector. I've been invited to join the advisory group of a major new piece of sector-wide research. One of the projects the advisory group will be advising on is a major report into the current landscape for our industry.

Here's the delicacy. I want to be writing that report! It's exactly the kind of work I love, I think I would do a good job and (frankly) it would be good for my career. But I worry that by being on the AG I will be out of the running. Also, I may be over estimating my own ability - on one hand, some of the work I have done is referenced as the basis for this new research, on the other I have much more industry experience than research experience and others in my field are much much more established as researchers (ie they have PhDs and research posts in academia)

Do I:

a) email the head of the research project, saying how interested I am in working on the report and ask to be considered. Could be thought of as very bolshy and presumptuous, and would mean I probably couldn't sit on the AG AND may also not get to do the report.

b) email the head of the research project and ask if members of the steering group will be able to be considered for the report. Could appear extremely naive and also bolshy, presumptuous etc.

c) go to the first AG meeting in a couple of weeks, find out more, then do (a)

d) say nothing, and use this as a useful experience to find out how this kind of work gets commissioned.

The leader of the project is a very powerful person who can make or break a reputation, so I don't want to get this wrong and end up making things awkward between me and him.

Advice, anyone?!?!

Definitely not d and probably not c - this strikes me as exactly the kind of thinking of too many women (including me) in professional roles! What’s the harm in sharing your enthusiasm for working on the project - surely that can only be a positive?!

I would do a and b - email to say how thrilled you are to have been asked to be involved with the AG as it very much fits in with your interests; you’d also be keen to be involved with developing the report and is this something you could volunteer to do as part of the AG.

Be polite (obvs!) but let your keenness show; it’s a massive asset and one I’m sure they will value. Good luck!

thanks LikeSilent! I can't decide if I'm being over confident or underselling myself.

It's complicated by the fact that I can't volunteer to be involved in the research - I'd need to access some of the research funding, too. So I'd be asking for money

I don't know anything about the sort of work you do or sector or the dynamics.

Could you explain what it means when you say that you cannot volunteer for the research and how that affects how useful or attractive you will be for (a) or (my preference) (b).

The best thing is if you have a friendly ally who can sound the head out on a no-names basis.

I work in social sciences/ advocacy. I'm effectively a freelance project worker who raises money to work directly with service users, and to set up organisations to do the same. So I'm not employed/ salaried and can't afford to take on a project without being paid for my time.

The project has already been awarded funding to pay for the report, and so I would hope to get paid from that pot.

From looking at the project outline, it looks like they are either hoping for a freelance consultant (like me) or an academic (not me) to do the work.

A man wouldn't think twice about looking bolshy and would do A without thinking. That's why they get further.

I would probably pick up the phone to the most highest person that i knew personally, and ask what the best way of getting involved was.

There's a friend of mine who's quite high up but not the big honcho ... perhaps I should ask her what she thinks. That's a good idea ....

I would phone (or preferably organise face to face meeting) the head of the research project and ask him if he would consider tendering the project to a freelance consultant. Express your interest in doing it, with a breakdown of costs and benefits. Offer a copy of your CV.

If he says no, then thank him for his time and ask him to bear you in mind if anything similar comes up.

Ok, thanks everyone. It looks like I should declare my interest from the outset?

Definitely not go to the advisory group meeting first?

I don't know anything about this area, but being on an AG and then receiving financial reward for work that the AG is overseeing looks like a conflict of interest, UNLESS you were on the AG as a result of doing the work, if you see what I mean.

Which would be a better career move for you? Being on the AG or doing the work?

If the second one, I would do your a), and if you get a quick positive answer, tell the chair of the AG what your position is and discuss any possible conflict of interest. Be open, be upfront, and be confident.

Yes, that's exactly it MrsAird - it would be a much better career move to write the report, but being on the AG would be a conflict of interest.

On the other hand, perhaps I've been invited onto the AG because I'm not qualified to write the report?

You’re underselling / second guessing yourself again with your last comment. Like Stripping said, that wouldn’t even enter a man’s head!

I doubt anyone has come to that conclusion, so you need to start backing yourself and demonstrating confidence in your ability to do the report.

Go for it!

Do what sluggishsnail said, and see if you can get a meeting with the head of the research before the first meeting;
and discuss it with the AG chair beforehand without being apologetic.

A all the way.
If you don’t ask you don’t get!
If you share your aspirations then others tend to help you get there.
I wish you all the best and come back & let us know how you get on.

Aaargh I did it! I spoke to the highest contact I have, and he recommended I ask what kinds of qualifications the researcher would need. So I did and the reply was, “we don’t know - hoping the steering group will tell us.”

So I bit the bullet and replied saying I would like to put myself forward, and said I presumed that would mean I had to stay away from the steering group.

Obviously, I instantly regret being so forward. But on the other hand fuck it. I realised that if I didn’t do it I would just feel bitter. Oh god but what if I’ve scuppered my career? This person is SO influential and he’s been very good for my career so far. If I’ve fucked that relationship up then ... oh god oh god oh god!

I think you'll be fine, I reckon you were picked for the group as they don't know what kind if person they want to write the report and your experience obviously makes them think highly of you. Good luck!

I don't think you'll have fucked up your career. Quite frankly, if putting yourself forward has that effect, then either you would fuck up at some point, or never get anywhere. Sooner or later you'd have to make the choice. Either you spend your life on AG but not doing the reports, or you have to put yourself forward. If you don't speak up, people assume you're happy where you are and leave you there.

Good luck!

So... update: the project lead got back to me and said he was hoping I would like to put myself forward! Hurrah! He said I should go along to the first AG meeting anyway (today) to state my interest.

So, am all prepared, done tonnes of work just so I can look confident and make my case ... I’m entirely ready Aaaaand dh and dc have started vomiting!

Aaargh, I could cry. (I may well cry later) Nothing says professionalism more than ‘I can’t come because I have to look after my family.’ I mean, I know they will tell me it’s fine, but the project lead and all my other high profile colleagues are childfree and I had to postpone a meeting with some of the same people for a similar reason last week. So even if they are kind and considerate I will appear flaky. Hardly the type of person who can take on a big piece of research.

Here’s my new dilemma: DH is currently sleeping. He vomited once in the night but normally gets over this stuff quite quickly. I’d he’s well enough by 2pm I could still get to the meeting and be back by 6, so he might be able to cope with the dc on his own. Do I tell them now that I probably can’t make it and then turn up by surprise if I can, or do I wait until the last minute to tell them I can’t come?

If I do the former, then I give plenty of notice but run the risk of making them aware of potential flakiness even if I can still attend. If I do the latter then I potentially look even more flaky by cancelling st the last minute.

I’m freelance by the way, so have absolutely no one to fight my corner and no employment rights to fall back on.

Surely DH can look after the children even if he is vomiting himself?

If your DH is likely to be ok I'd leave him to it. He will be fine for a few hours even if there is still the occasional vomit.
Good luck!

Leave him and go. Even if he's poorly he can cope for a few hours.

Just leave him and go. If he were a single parent he’d have no choice and this is important.

Nothing wrong with being confident. Fortune favours the bold!

Just saw your update. Tell DP how much this means to you and would he mind if you still went.