Worried about birth

[Hailw]

So i have always been scared by death and for a long time put off having any children because of my fear of childbirth.

I got over this for a time and with some CBT but im now 18 weeks pregnant and after some terriable nightmares am finding myself fearful again.

My mum and mother in law both had c-sections. Due to high blood pressue they delivered early and now im worried i will have my baby early and she (we found out its a girl) may die or i could die in the process of having a c-section.
I really dont feel a natural birth is an option for me as my anxiety often takes over in stressful situations and i would likely go into shock.
It also dosent help the my mum has been telling me how a women who had a vbac died the day i was born in hospital.

I have spoken to midwife and GP but being told this is all hormones.

Has anyone else felt this? How do you stop it making you upset all the time?

Fear of childbirth is an actual thing (Tokophobia) and not hormones. You may benefit from asking to see an alternative GP who has an interest in women's health and pregnancy. Here's more info: www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/how-you-might-be-feeling/tokophobia-how-get-over-extreme-fear-giving-birth

I felt similarly to you (but not as scared) and I was offered and accepted an elective c section. It was very calm and I was obviously completely prepared for it. Could this be an option?

Im seeing the consultant and plan to ask for an elective c section but still worry about what can happen with blood loss and today read about a article about a poor woman who had a c-section and died on sepsis a few days later so that worried me also

I did hypnobirthing which really really helped with my anxiety. It was quite expensive because we had private sessions. I don’t think my anxiety was as high as yours seems, but I had a natural labour and (surprisingly) really enjoyed the experience. If you do choose to have a c section, hypnobirthing can also help with that.
Good luck, I hope you’re able to discuss your concerns with a midwife or consultant.

I usually advocate natural births where possible, but I do think the calm and structured setting of a planned c-section would work well for you. You’ll know exactly what’s going to happen and will be able to plan ahead for it.

I would also look into getting an appointment with the mental health midwife in your area, so she can point you in the right direction of support to help you in the lead up to the birth.