Does your DP work away?

[WhyAmIAlwaysTired]

Just pondering, if your DP/DH/DW works away from home regularly, does their employer do anything as a thank you or give them anything extra for it?

DHs job is based in the UK but he has worked in another country during the week for almost a year. This isn’t the first time. He regularly works away during the week for long periods of time.

We have 2 DC’s at home who obviously don’t see much of their Dad and it has occurred to me today that his employers have never once done anything as a thank you. Not a bunch of flowers, a few quid for a meal out, a day off in lieu. Nothing!

Is this normal or does he just work for a rubbish employer?

Er no, if it’s part of his contract I wouldn’t expect anything. And yes my OH is away during the week and back weekends.

It isn’t part of his contract. He is contracted to work in the UK. The company have offices and projects all over the world and he is currently working on a project in a different country.

I don’t think they are necessarily given much choice in what project they work on.

Just thought a thank you might be nice!

My DW works away occasionally and will get all expenses covered, but no, doesn't get any extra bonuses or anything.

That said, I suspect her willingness to do it will open more doors, so it will likely pay off in terms of promotions.

No, but he is paid extremely well for it.

DH is in the Navy, so he is gone huge amounts. It's totally expected of the service members, it's their families left behind who get the big thank you for making it happen.
They do have appreciation days, family days, and receive bonus financial incentives when they are deployed on named missions as well, on top of sea pay.

Very normal I'm afraid and a bit bonkers of you to expect otherwise!

Cloudy, bonkers how? The person sitting at the next desk might get given a local project and be home at 5pm every night. DH gets a long distance project and doesn’t see his family for days at a time and doesn’t get so much as a thank you?

Hi OP
I'am in the same boat as you, my husband works away all week either 200+ miles away or overseas and NO there's nothing at all for us wives who hold the fort at home loosing out on our evenings and weekends, my husband is a fab partner and Dad but his job does come first. I have mentioned this to him as he's the operations manager in charge of 62 staff, after having our weekend away for my best friend of 25 years 50th birthday cut short I did have a bit of a rant and he mentioned it to his HR, who then bought all the workers single lounge passes for when they travel abroad, not family passes 😡😡😡. Where he worked In the past he used to have a Christmas party where the partners were invited and also all the staff were given a turkey, chocolates and a bottle of wine as a thank you to their employees family. But nothing now despite effectively leaving me as a single parent for 75% of the year.

NorthaEndGal, I guess when you join the Navy, you expect to be away for long periods. It’s fantastic they appreciate the families left behind which I guess helps a little to make it more bearable.

DH didn’t apply for a job working away, but seems to have been lumbered with one!

My DP works in another county once a week for 1 or 2 nights, it's just his job I don't expect them to thank him/is, however I have a 1 year old and I'm 6 months pregnant so I know it's hard

Think it's part of the job requirements and if it doesn't suit someone's lifestyle they should leave and take a different job. No thank yous needed, that's what a salary is for

Coffeee, I feel your pain!

Absolutely to the missing out on nights out, ferrying DC’s to clubs, all the school stuff, homework, open evenings. The list is endless.

It impacts on my job. I know I can never take on any additional responsibilities or work late because I need to be home.

We do not get invited to staff parties, not so much as a Christmas card, never mind a hamper!

DH is fairly senior and can award small immediate bonuses to his staff to say thank you, which he does, but no one does it for him!

I work away a fair bit, and its just part of the job. I had to be away for over 2 weeks including half term and it cost me over £500 in childcare but thats just par for the course. One day last year DHs work did pay for ds to go with him to Paris as I was away and they absolutely needed him to go to this meeting, but thats the closest it gets!

Maybe I just work for a good employer. We get a couple of decent parties every year, Christmas hamper, gift vouchers if we work busy periods etc

I think I’ve just had enough of doing it all on my own...

I work away a lot and don't get anything extra per se, however if if travelling in more likely to hit my target hours, which makes it more likely I'll get a bonus. We do get perks through work but it has nothing to do with travel.

Dp works away a lot (multiple trips of a week at a time and away over weekends) and gets quite a chunky bonus for each trip, up to maybe £2k each time depending on length/distance etc.

Mine is a marine engineer and paid quite well. He does 3 weeks away and then 3 weeks home. So technically he’s home half of the year anyway. We get a 20pound voucher at Christmas!? 🤣

It would be great if he did 3 weeks away, 3 weeks at home.

All the mundane stuff that could be done in the evenings has to be done at the weekends when he’s home, so we never get any down time.

Mine works away. It's part of his job so no, I don't expect any particular gratitude.

It does grate on me though when I end up doing the lions share off everything else whilst also holding down a full time job.

Mine has started working away for 1-2 weeks at a time in the Far East. He doesn't get any extra pay, but gets an annual bonus (that he always got before travel) and all his expenses paid. He also books his own flights and accommodation so has accumulated enough air miles and hotel points for us to have a free transatlantic trip. Aside from that we expect a certain amount of flexibility from his employer when he's here- days in lieu, covering dc sick days etc . He also doesn't have travel in his contract so could refuse but then they wouldn't have anyone else to do it.

My DH works away Monday to Thursday. No thank yous, but it was expected due to the nature of the job. All expenses paid. The upside is that we can live anywhere we like, and so live somewhere we really love.

Previous job, he worked from home but went abroad for a week or two several times a year which was a good balance; also he got lots of bonuses.

In an even previouser job, he was given an 'away from home' type payment when he was away.

I can understand your point though, OP: if it had never been the plan nor part of the job description that this would happen, then it must be pretty annoying now.

Mummyshark yes, we have air miles and hotel points coming out of our ears!

My DH very often works away Mon - Fri, in eastern Europe. It was not part of his initial contract. His employers show their gratitude by booking him the fanciest hotel room money can buy and unlimited expenses.
There's bugger-all thanks for me left wrangling 3 children and a more than FT job. Now you mention it, there should be.

This is the kind of job that I (and my DH) have. A long term overseas project may be recognised at the end of the year during the appraisal process but it is also expected and not seen as anything particularly unusual. That said, people can turn it down if they want but some either feel that they have to from a career perspective or actually want the opportunity.