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I would like to share this...

3 replies

Purplepicklepicker · 27/03/2019 20:21

Long post. #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth

So my telephone assessment for our local psycho-therapies has been moved forward from July to next Friday! A sad state of affairs I was having to wait 5 months in the first place (but that's a whole other story)...

Today I took a massive step. At my worst I was accused of putting cans of energy drink in my bag in the local shop and they suggested when I went back in because I forgot butter that I had stolen them. I was ill (mentally and physically) and had put them in whilst getting my purse out.. realised how it would look and put them back on the shelf and didnt buy any and bought other goods.

I went into that shop today for the first time in 5 months. Head held high. Heart beating like a drum. I felt sick and anxious.

But I did it. Not only did i go in, i bought something. And the world didnt fall apart around me. I've got this. 💪👍

Only 2 people know about this and the stuffle I've had for the past 5 months going into ANY shop.

Thank you for reading if you got this far... I just wanted to share with someone...

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 27/03/2019 20:23

Well done, onwards and upwards OP.

ShahOfSplosh · 27/03/2019 20:25

Huge well done Purple, even if it is from an Internet random. I don't know you but I am proud of you, well done! (not meant to be patronising!)

Purplepicklepicker · 27/03/2019 20:31

@ShahOfSplosh not patronising in the slightest. I appreciate your kind words... I have literally become phobic of shops since this happened... I would drive to the one up or down the road instead of going to this one which is essentially my corner shop.

Would check the "wanted mugshots" on the website of the local rag expecting to see myself there.

Became paralysed with fear of our intercom going... expecting the police..

Thinking school mums knew and were talking about me..

Dont get me wrong. I tried to chicken out numerous times on the way home (I needed the post office and its based in/next to said shop) but challenged myself to go in the post office first. Then when I was in there to actually go into the shop.

I took only my parcel, phone and bank card so I couldnt be accused of anything.

Not saying I'll be going back in there but.. I fucking did it!! 💪💪💪💪

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