Teachers breaking confidentiality?

[Ipithombi]

There was an incident involving my son outside of school hours while he was at home. He was chatting with a girl from his school via WhatsApp (she is also 12) They were both using inappropriate language, lots of swearing and a comment about wondering what sex is like and maybe wanting to try it (horrifying, I know!) I check his phone very regularly and so does the girls mum and we are both mortified and very disappointed in our kids. We approached each other the next day to talk about it. We both agreed to deal with our children ourselves and not to involve the school as it happened away from school and we just aren’t ‘those’ parents. Suddenly my son’s teacher appears and tells us that she has been told about the messages from another student. Both of us turned to her and told her we don’t want the school involved. We have both confiscated our kids phones indefinitely and they have both had a serious talking to. Today I received a phone call from the principal. This teacher went and reported the matter to him!!! He has called my son in to discuss it and I have been told I have to come to the school tomorrow to have a meeting. Not only that but this teacher has also told the entire staff about the incident and it is apparently the latest gossip in the staff room (I have a friend who is a TA at the school) I am absolutely furious!! Is this not some sort of safeguarding issue? Are teachers allowed to disclose things like this to other teachers? I am so mad because we specifically said we don’t want the school involved and they have involved themselves anyway! What would you do?

She can be! But it is a very small school in a small village and I don’t think she is the only drama queen there. I’m not surprised at all that it’s become hot gossip. Everyone knows everyone’s business. It’s why we hoped to keep it between us in the first place. I completely understand and agree with the teacher’s actions. I was being unreasonable.

Was the girl also spoken too like your son was and her parents going in for a meeting?

You mention if it's right for school to be getting involved in thing she outside of school. Of course they should!
Have you not heard of Victoria Climbie?

Of course I have! Very different circumstances I think? Anyway, I now agree that it was the right thing to do and completely understand and agree with the teacher’s actions.

I don't think it should have been the subject of staffroom gossip.

I think the TA friend was probably exaggerating with the staffroom gossip thing.

Glad you have listened OP. If it helps I dont think anyone would be gossiping. If they are it will be because it is such a surprise as children involved not been in trouble. They may be thinking if x and y are talking like this do i need to talk to my child or my class? Shouldn't be in a judge way.

The school have a duty of care and the teacher had to tell the head. I really wouldn’t worry, nothing will come from it but it will be recorded as a safeguarding concern.

Your friend on the other hand completely breached confidentiality and if found out will definitely have a disciplinary.

Is it right for the school to become involved in a matter that happened outside of school though?

Once an incident like this is reported to the teacher she is legally required to report it to the head (or similar) and he/she is not going to ignore the issue. The very fact that another child knew and felt the need to report indicates that this is not as limited as you say.

Whether all staff need to be informed depends on the nature and extent of the communication, but if it is being talked about between students, then probably they do.

I can see no good reason for your TA friend's behaviour.

The teacher will have had to log it in CPoms or whatever safeguarding system they use, it will be normally only visible to those who teach your child including the class TA, unless the head has deemed other staff be made aware

Teacher has absolutely done the right thing in letting head and other teachers know. The head can give advice and the other teachers need to know so they can keep an eye on them in school.

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