Unfair grandparents

[sockatoe]

I have 3 children. The eldest was the first grandchild on both sides and much adored.

Before my youngest children were born, there was another grandchild arrive on in laws side. Adoration is the wrong word. Unhealthy obsession is more accurate.
No interest whatsoever in my youngest children. I suspect my eldest is more of a habit than cherished grandchild but is still collected from school once a week by in laws so spends time with them each week.

I'm trying not to provide too much information to out myself, but essentially we're now in a position where 1 sibling has a relationship with their grandparents, but the others do not. I've tried to suggest spending time with them but with no success. On family occasions, the young ones run to them, cuddle them, but are pretty much ignored in return. I'm not asking for childcare or babysitting (obviously if offered that would be lovely, but it's unlikely to happen). I've suggested spending time 1:1 in case they find it daunting. My youngest get presents Christmas and birthdays but minimal contact in between.
Would you reduce contact with eldest? Or keep offering and trying to encourage a relationship with the youngest? This is not about money or childcare. Just the strange, unfair dynamics which the youngest are starting to notice and question.

I would reduce contact with your eldest. It should be fair.

I'd tell them your children, their grandchildren, are a package deal and it's all or none.

What is your husbands view? How has he not dealt with this by now?

It's tricky really. The eldest is no trouble for them to have alone, not sure they could cope with 2 or 3 at the same time. Despite invitations, they wouldn't come to us and simply spend time with them. Plus, the cousin spends so much time with them it's tricky to identify a time slot.