Hostel living with 6 yr old

[mandylc83]

Hi all!
Just want other opinions and to see if I’m being unreasonable or unrealistic.
Long story short(ish) - my sons dad was removed from our home due to domestic abuse. Unfortunately, my son witnessed an incident where something was thrown at me and cut my head open.
Fast forward and we lose our home as I couldn’t afford the rent on my own.
31st October, me and my 6 yr old son were placed in a hostel, sharing a room.
I’ve been told I could be here 3-5 years and that the accommodation is deemed suitable for my needs.
My son is wetting the bed and having bad dreams, can’t focus on doing homework, and we are kept awake by other residents constantly.
I found drug use in the bathroom so now can’t let my son go to the toilet alone!
He is being supported by his school for what he has been through, using the “lighthouse” programme.
I just don’t feel like anyone has thought about the effect on my child.
Should I take this further? Or am I being over the top?

Well it’s not ideal is it really?

I know homes are in short supply but you really need to make a nuciance of yourself and keep ringing the offices and bid on anything that comes available.

Failing that get your son to the doctors an see if they will support a housing application

That sounds really tough and lonely for you.

Are social services involved? Could you seek their assistance?

Thank you - I will try that

I’ve been on anti depressants for quite a while now anyway - but this is another level! Feel like such a crap mum - I’m supposed to provide for my child and keep him safe! Very down today!
I’m not sure how social services could help tbh

I would have thought you would have been rehimed properly bu now. I thought a hostel was temporary as in a week or so, not months.

What has your local council said in regards to housing you?

This may be stating the obvious but could you find a property that takes housing benefit, even if it means moving further away? Anything has to be better than this for you and your son.

Who is the hostel arranged by? As far as I'm aware a hostel is on ever classed as emergency accommodation and should never be seen as more than a short term measure
Do you have an IDVA at all!

Also take pictures if you can or the drug paraphernalia to back up that it is unsafe and unsuitable

I would double check your councils rules, but I am sure you are only meant to stay in a hostel for 6 weeks and I am fairly sure that is law, but double check it with shelter and then make a lot of noise

Email your MP.
Go and see your MP.
Take photographs.

Contact Shelter
Social Services
NSPCC
The drug use in the communal toilet is a safeguarding issue.
Keep telling the school.
Put it in writing.

. I thought a hostel was temporary as in a week or so, not months.'

It's meant to be but there just aren't the houses to move people in to :(
In our area they are now offering 1K plus moving costs for the older generation who got Council housing at a time it was easier and are now tying up 3-5 bed properties on their own decades after their kids have left.

Of course this too has moral issues!

OP no practical advice here but saw a fb post earlier about all a child needs is someone to be there for them give them hugs, listen and laugh and chat with them, be interested in their lives etc. You sound like that parent. You're doing great OP, and I'd second the 'make life he'll for them above. Take care and big hug, you're brave and amazing and I hope you get help here

That was make life hell for social services. A phone call/ call in a day. Ask them would they live in those circumstances with their kid's, reiterate what you've both been through, but be friendly and diplomatic so they can't help but put you as their top priority. Years should not be a length of time they're talking about

I know they sold all the safe houses in our town sparkly

It sounds like you need someone to help you make your case. Very difficultired for you to do that alone in your circumdtances.

Shelter could be a good initial point of contact.could you request an appointment. to discuss your case. Bring pics.

Don't give up until you find someone who will help you.

I can only reiterate what others have said, you need to keep at the authorities, quite people get ignored. I take it you are awarded points so as you could apply for social housing? You need to get back in touch and say that you have evidence that your sons emotional/mental well-being is being affected by his housing situation to get more points. Do you need a school or doctors report to support this?

I’d get in touch with Shelter first, but then go to your MP and get them to fight for you. Horrendous that you are both victims of domestic viloence and now being housed like this.

Are you in greater Manchester or Oldham by any chance Op?

Are you receiving benefit money or are you just being given a roof over your head and meals?

Does the father of your child pay maintenance?

Is he concerned about his child being raised in a hostel?