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Guy seems lukewarm after first date...

4 replies

loka123 · 25/03/2019 19:38

So I "met" a guy online - he initiated the first text conversation, we texted for 4-5 days - he kinda hinted at meeting him (he lives nearby) so we set up a date and time and I asked if he wanted to speak on the phone for a bit - we ended up having a 1.5 hour phone chat (where he told me he's glad I asked him to chat on the phone as he's not a huge fan of texting as it takes far longer to have the same convo via text than on a phone call) - he also said other girls in the past never asked him to do that and he likes it so means he can call a day or two before the date.

In the end, we just texted a bit each day (e.g. during the day etc) leading up to the date (he goes to a sports class 2 of those evenings so we had very limited contact on those days).

He turned up on time for the date, it all went well I thought (we went into quite deep/personal conversations for a first date where he mentioned some of his insecurities, problems etc. - he seemed very reserved (maybe playing it cool), so couldn't tell whether he was simply shy/nervous or a bit stuck up.

At the end of the date, I'm the one who ended it after hours of chatting as he had early morning plans the next day. He didn't ask for a kiss etc. so just ended it with a friendly hug. He told me he'd text me tomorrow or the day after (as he's busy on the tomorrow) and the date was lovely and he'd like to meet again if I wanted to.

I agreed (though not enthusiastically so perhaps?) and when we went home, he did not text the classic "did u get home safe" which I find a bit odd but thought maybe he's tired. Next day, he had a super busy day including travelling with friends so neither of us text each other.

The day after, I initiated a text to him in the evening (he hadn't been online much and he had some home errand type plans for that day) - he replied straight away and we texted back and forth a bit. He had friends around so he answered one of the texts I sent at 8pm-ish, the next morning and we had a few more texts where he was saying about something he cooked which turned out well the night before.. I answered back a bit flirty/complimentary about him with a kissy emoji (a simply one liner).. he saw it and didn't answer. It's been about 9 hours since and he's only been online a handful of times but still no response..

Maybe my mind works differently to a guy's but I can't quite figure out if the no reply was because:

  1. He's genuinely busy with other stuff
  2. He feels awkward that I've been flirty/complimentary if he's actually not into me
  3. He thinks I'm too needy/clingy
  4. As my last text only contained a compliment (not a question or any content), maybe he doesn't feel the need to reply?

What could be the most probable scenario? Does he not like me or am I over-thinking and this amount of space is normal for a guy? I've dated other guys before but with those guys, we were always in constant contact (almost to an unhealthy level so I don't know what's normal any more).

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 26/03/2019 08:06

I think you over thinking it. Be sounds like s normal guy with a busy life.

I'd keep contact but allow space. He sounds like he does like you but doesn't feel the need to be on constant contact. Which is a good thing.

Italiangreyhound · 26/03/2019 08:06

He not Be!

loka123 · 26/03/2019 20:29

@Italiangreyhound Thanks for reading the entire post and responding :) it's just so hard to tell sometimes as people have different ways of showing they like/dislike someone and different levels of communications.

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Italiangreyhound · 26/03/2019 21:49

loka123 I think it is best to just see how it goes, if you are happy then it will be good but if you decide you are not happy you can always end it. Good luck.

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