Emotional four year old

[Unclebuck3]

Poor dd4 has had one bug after another this winter and it really has taken its toll. The worst was scarlet fever followed by a diarrhoea and vomiting bug that wiped her out and she lost 3kg. Every cold and sniffle she has will result in a chest infection that takes weeks to shift 😥

All the sickness seems to have affected her emotionally as well as she will now cry over the slightest thing. She constantly complains of stomach pains, leg pain, sore throat, earache etc and these symptoms tend to appear when she wants something (such as chocolate) but has been told no. She will also cry if a fly comes close to her, if we ask her to eat vegetables, if her younger brother touches one of her toys, you get the idea!

I do think it is attention seeking but I have no idea how to handle it for the best. I have tried love bombing, ignoring it and staying upbeat, extra hugs and attention but nothing seems to work. 6 months ago she was my bouncy, happy little girl that was obsessed with spiders and creepy crawlies and now she’s just a big ball of emotion and it is very draining!

Anyone? Why am I always ignored on this site! 😭

My first thought would be tiredness. Is she getting enough sleep if decent quality?

maybe being over emotional runs in the family. on a more serious note has she had blood taken at the gp to check all her levels are good and maybe try cutting out sugary snacks and having earlier bed times and naps at weekends to catch up?

She has never been a good sleeper and when she’s sick it’s even worse. The Gp did mention blood tests but said not to do it unless absolutely necessary as it’s quite traumatic for little ones.

So it’s not just a common phase at this age? I will definitely cut down the snacks and try to improve her bedtime then to see if that helps.

DS1 was like that at four as well, it was very draining. Perhaps a multivitamin gummy chew and yes look at sleep if you can. Those two things can't hurt and might help.

It sounds like the poor little thing has had a tough time and feeling unwell and a bit sorry for herself has become the new normal. She needs to rebuilt her resilience but it's not easy. I would try encouraging her to take back a bit of control in her life, get her out and about doing things where she doesn't have time to think too much about feeling unwell. encouraging her to focus on the positives and talking to her about the fact that things have been tough but isn't it great she is better now. Is there something she could really look forward to like a family holiday or even a day trip somewhere she really enjoys? Look after yourself too!

Hmm. I'd say she's tired. Is she at school or nursery?
My nearly 5yo has been like this since he started school.
Just really worn out from being on best behavior at school and all the new stuff they are learning and doing.
He let's it all out as soon as he gets home to me.
Snuggles, Food and downtime work usually.

I would definitely include vitamin D if she isn't getting it already, if she's been ill a lot this winter. If she doesn't perk up by the time it's got sunnier, then I would probably be back to GP and asking for more investigation, because it doesn't seem quite right that a run of illness has affected her general wellbeing - I'd just want to rule out anything immune related.

Oh yes school tiredness is a good point too.

Thank you for the replies, yes SnowsInWater that’s exactly it! Feeling sorry for herself has become the new normal We went out for a day trip on Sunday and she just burst into tears constantly. Complaining she was cold, tired, the wind was blowing hair in her face, something sharp in her hat was poking her, she bumped her finger, the list goes on... She’s at nursery 3 hours per day monday to Friday. She does like it but will always cry at pick up. What is the best way to handle the outbursts? Loads of hugs and attention will stop the crying but I’m worried she’ll start using it to get her way. If I ignore her she will just follow me around whimpering. I’m ashamed to say I have snapped at her a few times, I really try not to but after the 20th crying episode over nothing in particular it can be trying.