How to mend a broken heart (miscarriage)

[VenusStarr]

After ttc for 16 months (and going through initial fertility tests with a referral ongoing) I got my bfp late-February. I was so happy, shocked but happy.

However I had some spotting and cramping around 6 weeks. I had a scan at epu on 15 March to be told the pregnancy sac was empty, there was a bleed in the sac and it appeared to be collapsing on itself as it was an irregular shape. I have to go back this Friday to confirm as it measured 22mm which is below their cut off.

So I've spent the last week in limbo, waiting for my body to realise I'm not pregnant and to miscarry. Why doesn't my body realise its just growing and sustaining an empty sac :(

I'm absolutely heartbroken 💔 I just can't believe that life can be so cruel.

It's taken all my effort today and I've come out for a walk in my favourite park but it's not helped. I just feel numb :( I know I need to process this to heal but I'm stuck.

I’m so sorry Venus 😢.

As you say, you need to process it to heal. Mc is so cruel, it’s impossible not to get your hopes up when you get a BFP, only to have them cruelly dashed.

At least it’s encouraging that you conceived. I know friends who struggled to conceive for ages, and after they managed the first time, they found it a lot quicker and easier to conceive their next children. Two ladies this happened to now have 3 and 4 DCs each.

Sending lots of luck that next time it will stick. Be gentle with yourself, wallow in melancholy music if it helps you grieve, but don’t lose hope.

Can you ask to have a D&C perhaps? When I had a MMC with my first pregnancy I struggled with being in limbo too and emotionally felt much better after I’d had the procedure.

@VenusStarr
Hi Venus
We were in the same position, I know how heartbreaking it is. We were in the middle of fertility tests and fell pregnant then I started to bleed. They thought it was ectopic as it took 3 weeks to finally stop bleeding.

I'm sorry you are going through this. We unexpectedly fell pregnant again two months after the miscarriage. It's not easy though, I still thought about my due date when it came round in September.

Big hugs xx

Thank you @Summergarden. The nurse refused to discuss what happens next (if I don't miscarry naturally before Friday), she just said we'd discuss it when I go back. I am desperate for it to be over, feel stuck until its done. I have fibroids that were discovered as part of the infertilty tests and the sonographer spent ages looking at them during my scan. I'm seeing a gynecologist in 3 weeks, suspect I will need these looking at before we get the go ahead to try again.

I'm sorry to hear you have been in the same place @Roomarmoset, I'm glad things have worked out for you I hate the way this has made me doubt everything. I should be 8+2 today 😢