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Creepy, noisy neighbour

16 replies

sarah96 · 25/03/2019 07:38

Hi everyone,

I will probably sound completely paranoid but here goes.
It's all females in the house, and we have a male neighbour. He is regularly noisy, loud music/video games etc and radio at 6am in the morning which wakes everyone up (house is a semi). Often everything is quiet until we go upstairs to bed and he turns on loud music. It's very annoying and we feel like we are creeping about trying to not let him hear us.
However, since it has just been females in the house (after my dad passed) he has started coming into the bathroom almost everytime one of us goes into ours (they are adjoining and you can hear literally everything, it's horrible). Sometimes he'll tap on the wall and other times he just stand by the wall. It sounds insane, but you can see and hear where he is as the floorboards are connected so you can see them moving, also they creak a lot.
We think he's probably trying to intimidate us as he has been verbally aggressive in the past but things have gotten so much worse since my dad died.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the situation? We can't afford to move at the moment. I worry about my mum being there on her own when I move out.

Thanks

OP posts:
sarah96 · 25/03/2019 07:44

I should probably also say that our neighbour across the street caught him watching his wife get changed upstairs a year or so ago.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 25/03/2019 09:33

How horrible. Without worrying you, do you think there are possibly any holes where he could be watching?
What did the other neighbour do when he saw him watching his wife? If you know you e got a peeping Tom, don’t leave your curtains open when getting changed etc. Limit his peeking.
I’d probably call him out on it but I’m a bit stroppy. Could you pretend when in the bathroom you are calling the police.
Sorry about your dad.

sarah96 · 25/03/2019 10:06

Hi icelollycraving,
I don't think so, I can't see anything anyway.
The neighbour across the road threatened him, so now he keeps his curtains closed.
He won't speak to us, hangs up the phone etc. Just shouts through the walls or as he's walking away. He's mental. But I did think about shouting something along the lines of "the pervert's listening again" to see if it discourages him. However I don't want to antagonise him into blasting music etc.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 25/03/2019 11:40

That’s why I’d pretend I was calling someone, not shout etc.
Could you tell your concerns to the neighbour over the road?

Hearhere · 25/03/2019 11:43

He sounds predatory and horrible
at the very least I would keep a very detailed log of everything that happens

I'm also sorry for your lossFlowers

wowfudge · 25/03/2019 11:50

Keep a diary of every noise nuisance incident. You need evidence in order to go to Environmental Health over it. Download a decibel reader app and note the noise levels.

Grace212 · 25/03/2019 11:54

"Often everything is quiet until we go upstairs to bed and he turns on loud music."

could you report to council as noise nuisance and explain the harassment part as well?

re confronting him, it depends who is in the house I guess and how you all feel about it.

sarah96 · 25/03/2019 12:07

Thanks for all your ideas. We are thinking about asking the neighbour across the road to speak to him as he already dislikes him, understandably. I'll definitely start a log and download an app - that's a really good idea.

OP posts:
lablablab · 25/03/2019 12:14

That's so worrying!

Could report it to the police? If you feel intimated, threatened and harassed, then I think this warrants a non-emergency call. Maybe they'll send an officer round just to have a word.

JoinTheDots · 25/03/2019 12:36

Yes to keeping a log and making a complaint if you have grounds, to Environmental Health.

I would be tempted to keep a radio in the bathroom, and put it on just loud enough that it would mask any sounds you might make while you are in there, and block any noises he might make while he is listening. Not loud enough that he could make a counter complaint to the Environmental Health people though!

If he cannot hear you, and you cannot hear him, he will lose any power he currently feels while standing there, and might stop doing it.

Hearhere · 25/03/2019 12:49

Also team up with the neighbour swap notes and corroborate each other's experiences of this nuisance man, build a case against him together so that you have it if you need it

BlueSaphire · 25/03/2019 12:54

I was going to suggest keeping a radio on loudly in the bathroom when you are using it too.
If he cant hear anything he will probably eventually give up trying.
He sounds like a creep, and having had creepy neighbours myself in the past I know how unsettling it can be, especially in an all female house.

If his music is constantly loud and he plays it at unsociable hours, report him to the council or the police.

sarah96 · 25/03/2019 14:45

I'll definitely keep a log of the noise and bathroom creepiness. The problem is how you prove that he's doing it? I doubt he would try it when police or environmental were round. It's very frustrating. Radio sounds like a good idea, at least then he couldn't hear anything. I just can't imagine what pleasure it would bring someone listening to their neighbours pee! I actively avoid going into the bathroom if I can hear he's in his - I don't want to hear him! The walls are so thin that you can hear him from one of the bedrooms upstairs - it's gross. Why you'd want to get closer and properly listen, I don't know.

OP posts:
BlueSaphire · 25/03/2019 16:49

There may be some helpful tips in the link below.

www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/what-can-i-do-about-nuisance-neighbours

ohtheholidays · 27/03/2019 11:53

Pretend there is a guy in the house,he won't know there isn't because no matter how much he trys to spy on you he can't be spying 24/7(even he has to sleep)so when someone goes into the bathroom call out a guys name(so he thinks there's a man there)and say he's at it again.

If he still carrys on with his shit call out Ben(or whatever mans name)no you can't go round there and speak to him I know what your like and you know you won't only speak to him!

That way he'll think that there's now a guy staying regularly and that that guy wants to have it out with him(sort him out)just make sure to tell all the other females in the house so if he does dare to ask any of them about "Ben" they can keep up the lie as well.

I had to do the same in the past,I was a single mum to 4DC and the neighbors son started trying it on(the stupid little shit)little did he know I come from a family of mostly men and I was good friends with the lovely Hells angel that lived in our street.

As soon as he thought there was the chance of a man having it out with him(sorting him out)he backed off and I never had any trouble of him again.

Happynow001 · 27/03/2019 16:27

Ugh this sounds nasty! One more suggestion.

Are you able to install any soundproofing on the party wall - to help deaden the noise as well as the radio?

A local builder should be able to advise further. They might be able to advise regarding the floor as well

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