Son with ASD mentioning suicide

[Stuckconfusedlost]

I didn’t know where to put this post so sorry if this is the wrong place.
My DS is 12, started secondary school in September. Since starting we have had one incident with him ringing the police saying he’s being followed, he eventually admitted he had made this up. Not sure how relevant that is but just thought I’d mention. He has high functioning autism.
Recently his school contacted me as things he had been googling had been flagged up with them, he had been googling “how to kill myself” after speaking to DS, they said he said that he didn’t want to, and that he was just interested in what would come up and they believe him.
Since then I have found out about a new girlfriend he has made, who is under camhs for self harming. May or may not be relevant, although I believe he is very very easily led.
He has had a huge change recently as his brother who is 17 moved back in with us 6 week ago after spending 3 years living with his dad. My DS has made no comments about this bothering him, although he never does and his behaviour has changed.
Moving on to today and my DS has one of the worst meltdowns I’ve seen in him in a long time, about and absolutely minor thing, in which during he said that he googled that because he had thought about it. Afterwards he said no he hadn’t thought about that but said it just to get my attention. I just don’t know what to do at all.
I’ve been informed that he’s now going into learning services at school and nurture groups, completely unrelated reasons to this issue. I think the transition to secondary plus the changes at home are affecting him massively.
I feel lost, and completely unable to deal with everything at the moment. My elder DS who has recently come home is also an absolute nightmare and puts a lot of pressure on family life.
If I ring school tomorrow about my 12 year old can they refer him to somewhere about the things he has been saying, even if they believe he doesn’t actually want to do it.
Everything happening here at the moment, and there is a lot regarding DS1 is honestly just getting too much and I don’t feel I can handle this, or even know what to do about everything.
Sorry for the massive post

Bump

I have no advice as I ha e no experience in these issues but I can see that you need help and support.

I would imagine that school is your first call and maybe I'm wrong but would be honest with him about it rather than going behind his back?

Hi OP, I have had similar from my own DS, same diagnosis...high functioning autism, although he only turned 8 this month. I was horrified when he suddenly blurted out he was going to kill himself, I have still not got to the bottom of it. He can't explain why he said it. The school have been fantastic and he has responded well to a support group that they hold for ASD children of various ages. I think, like you, a few overwhelming sets of circumstances have been a trigger. My eldest left home for uni, DS found that very difficult as it was just the 3 of us. His abandoning father reappeared and took me to court for contact, only for me to discover that he's moving 400 miles away but left that information out during legal proceedings, therefore abandoning him again. Fortunately contact is limited but I am aware the impact has been huge and I am constantly trying to manage it while being mocked and derided by my ex and OW. My first port of call was the SENCO. I am fortunate that she is fantastic and immediately put in place plans to help. Can you speak to your GP about a referral to CAMHS? I know they are very hit and miss but it might be worth a try. Like your DS, mine is also very easily led and I would be concerned about the "girlfriend" and influence there, that is certainly something to have an honest conversation with school about. I had my DS googling "dead bodies" and indeed pictures of naked women. I've removed his access to search engines now (unless we do it together), although that is not going to be easy for you with 12 year old. The National Autistic Society has a lot of useful information, I belong to several Facebook groups which are always fantastic sources of support and information so do look some up if you are a FB user. I hate the unpredictability of it all, you can just be going along quite happily and then something overwhelming comes along and you're suddenly drowning. So, first port of call is your SENCO, be absolutely honest with them. I would hope they have immediate resources to hand to help and support. I wish you luck, it's such a difficult journey