If your monthly take-home pay was £4,500...

[mronion]

...what would be the maximum amount you were prepared to spend on rent/mortgage a month? One child, no childcare costs, commuting costs of circa £400 p/month, no car, no other major outgoings apart from food and all the usual utilities.

And would you think, given the above, that that was a lot to live on or not very much?

Trying to settle a debate with DSIL.

That's my partner's take home and our mortgage is 2k. I earn too, he pays mortgage and I pay utilities. I wouldn't want to go higher than that, I feel we're pushing it as it is but we're on south east so needed a big mortgage to buy out house.

This is a perfect example of why you should never share your financial situation with anyone and that includes family. We chose not to educate privately though affordable for us, it’s no ones business but your own.

No one that knows us has a clue what our income is, nor our level of savings, we didnt even tell anyone we paid our mortgage off in our thirties.

Your SIL sounds like a cow.