If you found out partner got someone else pregnant 10 years ago when your baby was only 6 months old.

[sarah8484]

So basically... i've recently found out my dp got his ex partner pregnant 10 years ago while we was together and our ds was only 6 months old. She terminated the pregnancy after he begged her to. I found out from the girl herself a few weeks ago. I knew he was cheating on me but he always denied it. Would you say something to dp or not? As it was so long ago and im planning my escape to leave him anyway (he's a horrible horrible person) At first i felt sick to think he was having unprotected sex with me and someone else (and at least another person ) and cheating on me when at that moment i was so happy in our relationship with our first child but now I just feel so much hate towards him. Would you say something or just let that hate fester to give you the strength to successfully leave for a better life.

Depends on what you might get from telling him. If nothing, other than a reaction and more stress, then let the hate build up, let it fuel you, and get on with your longer term plan to leave. You can always let him know after, when you are gone, safe and independent.

You are already planning to leave him so wouldn't gain anything by talking about it now. If you do and he gets angry you might be forced into a situation where you have to leave before you have made the necessary financial or practical arrangements. I would keep any evidence of this 'affair' for use as proof of him cheating if needed in future.

I wouldn't bother, gives you the further motivation to go. You're leaving anyway, it just shows you what you already know.

If you knew he was cheating on you, does this really change things?

Tbh though I would tell him I know as I wouldn't be able to resist. Although keep in mind telling him won't change things on his end (like making him sorry) as he'll just deny this as well. He will say she is lying. Even if his exp had some type of proof he could just say it wasn't his.

The exception would be if you think it would inflame the situation to the point where you aren't safe. Perhaps as JoinTheDots suggests, let him know after you are gone.

Thank you all for advice I know he would deny it and say his ex is making it up and it won't achieve anything but I'm just so angry I would want him to respect me enough to at least be honest with me for once. But a tiger never changes his stripes does he?! X

Don't tell him UNTIL (and if you still want to) you have all your finances (incl accommodation, any financial settlement and child maintenance) completely signed sealed and delivered, and you are in your new home.

TBH I'm not sure I'd tell him then anyway - what would be the point? If anything use your anger to focus on getting the best deal for you and your DC. However remember you still need to deal with your STBEx regarding your shared child after the dust has settled. (You say DP instead of DH so I'm assuming not married. If you are married all the more need to be cautious.

Remember to change your Will, Next of Kin and other benefits which he might be nominated on (eg Death in Service benefit) if you have these.

Apart from that, living well and being happy away from him will be your best revenge, if you need that.