My old friend keeps wanting to meet up but it's not practical, wwyd?

[KindergartenKop]

My friend who I was bffs with as a child, but grew apart from as a teenager, lives in a city more than 2 hours away. I moved away for uni and haven't been back for a few years. Whenever we make contact on fb, which isn't very often, she is pressing to make a date to meet up. I'd like to see her but we are rarely in the same city. I have 2 young kids who would not enjoy traveling 2 hours to have a boring meet up with mummy's friend and I'm not a confident driver so TBH I don't want to go all that way for someone I've grown apart from. I'm happy to host her if she were to come here, but it always seems like the invitation is for me and the kids to go there. Any child free time is spent with friends I'm closer to.
Am I being a bitch? How do I answer when she asks about meeting up?

If I was her I would I friend you.

Have you actually invited her to yours or suggested you meet halfway?

Just be totally honest.

You’d love to see her but the journey is too much for the kids at the moment, but she’s welcome to come to you.

That should of course say unfriend

Of course you aren't being a bitch. What does she say if you say you can't travel that distance with young children, and you'd prefer her to come to you? Or do you actually want her to come to you?

Just reply less frequently if you don't want to be honest with her. She'll get the hint.

You're not a bitch, I had exactly the same when mine were little with people that I had moved on from.

Why haven’t you just said your children won’t like the journey and does she want to come to you instead?!

Either invite her to your town or um and ah until she gives up or say i never really go back to x town but if I ever do I'll let you know or unfriend and block her. The choice is yours.

"Its a bit too far for me to travel with the kids, but why don't you come here?"

Invite her to your place .
What is her situation?
It is nice that she keeps in touch even if it is not often. It is very difficult when you work away from your home town.

On the other side of this I have a good friend who I now live a 3 hour drive from. She has young children I do not. Over the past 5 years she has visited my house (even when I lived 45 mins away from her) ONCE. I am expected to do all the driving and entertain the children for her once I meet up (her children are lovely by the way, I don't have a problem playing with them). Last weekend I did a 7 hour round trip to see her for her sons birthday. We only managed to stay for 4 hours then we had to go to get back at a reasonable time and then I had to go to work for the next week.

To be honest, although I totally understand how difficult it is and how boring for the children to be in the car etc, it is taking a toll on our friendship. Occasionally she will meet halfway, but she doesn't like 'dragging' her children halfway to see me despite her driving the same distance to her parents house at least once a week. Even if my DH and I are lucky enough to have children (it's not looking that way) I know the situation would be the same. She would still expect me to do the driving because at that point she would say younger children are easier to transport than older ones etc. There's always a reason!

Either suggest meeting halfway, or invite her to yours. But if you seriously want the friendship to continue then sometimes you will have to make the effort to see her too.

Re reading it ... are you bothered?

You could meet halfway but you don’t sound bothered about staying friends so just stop chatting with her.

It depends on how much you value and want to continue the Friendship to be honest.

I have friends who live in far parts of of the UK or major European Cities and the friendships are still going strong because we Skype, speak on the phone, send mail etc and only meet in person once or twice a year. Either we’ll get a cheapy to meet in a different city half way or we”ll have a long weekend or Mon-Fri in each other’s home cities.

I’ve got friends in the US who I’m in contact with every month and who I see in person once or twice a year. Again either I’ll go there or they’ll come here.

It’s quite easy to keep up a friendship this way, especially with free apps like WhatsApp and Skype.

Maybe you can suggest more regular communication over the phone etc but less frequent but better quality meeting up time?

Or are you just done with the friendship altogether?

It doesn’t sound as though you are that bothered about this friendship. I think you need to address that issue tbh.

Could you agree to meet somewhere midway which the children will enjoy and you two can wander round chatting-like a zoo or country park with playground.