If you’re an introvert with extrovert children, how do you get the balance right?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

I have three dc. The boys are fairly like me and older than dd so not too much of an issue noise wise.

Dd is 8 and talks constantly. I know a lot of kids do, I’m a childminder so I do have vast experience with it.

But lately I’m really struggling. She narrates her whole life, talks constantly through tv programmes, interrupts and asks questions incessantly whether it’s on topic or not. She’s also not very good at playing by herself even though she’s not required to very often.

She’s very lovely, kind, caring, well behaved. I know she asks questions because she’s learning and very curious. She wouldn’t dream of doing this at school or when we have guests but when it’s just us at home, it’s constant abs I feel like curling up in my bed for peace and quiet. I have struggled with my MH recently so that’s probably in part to do with it.

I do answer her many questions but just need quiet to recharge too. What’s the right balance?

You should try setting limits.
A bit of quiet time would be good for both of you. And try to encourage her to stop talking constantly through TV programmes and interrupting. At 8 she should be able to have a bit of self-control and understand why she shouldn’t be interrupting all the time.

She absolutely must have some self control because she doesn’t do it at school, cubs, sports lessons etc. Just seems to save it all for home!

I have the same problem. I love how teen dd loves to chat with me but I find myself asking her not to talk so loud. Love the positivity and enthusiasm about life but no need to shout when it's just us 😂

We have time out from each other. She's 12 now and is only completely in my face a couple of days a week now but she's old enough to realise that were entirely different people and I need space from her!
I used to tell her my ears were bleeding and she knew to give me ten minutes peace.

Is it mostly girls? I hate gender stereotyping but I haven’t noticed this with my sons at all.

I’ve sent her out in the garden this afternoon with one of her brothers

I actually find it very stressful. I'm very introverted, the children obviously eliminate any chance of having personal space - to be expected. But still very difficult to cope with. I force myself to always make sure I take them out, socialise them, etc, but at time I am so overwhelmed and mentally exhausted that I will put a video on for them, make myself a tea and sit upstairs alone for 5 minutes or so (something I've not been able to do for a long time with three young kids). Sometimes the constant noise and demands and needing to be on me and shouting in my ear etc etc just gets too much.

My middle boy talks non-stop unless he's on a video game (& sometimes even then). I had more children so he had more people to demand attn from (was my solution).

And long country walks. Those are excellent.

My DS is like this. Constant not stop chattering from the second he wakes up until bed. Loads of questions about all sorts, insists in a decent answer and probes non stop until he gets it. It can be exhausting if tired, stressed, not feeling great. My DD is totally different.

We have 'quiet time' and explained some people need more alone time than others. He gets it but finds it hard to stop talking 😂

Go to work, it means that I get an hour all by myself at lunch time.

Encourage them to play by themselves or eachother for a time period with the agreement that I will play with them for a time period.

Ditto, getting them to tidy up their bedrooms/playroom and vacuum etc on the agreement that we will do something together afterwards.

Summertime is better; I can sit in the garden and read a book whilst they play - they are happy if I vaguely comment on whatever they are doing. Supplies of chalks, water guns and ice lollies help (though not all at the same time!).

Find something to do, and then you can say you’re busy/concentrating.

Youngest DD was like this. Still is! The rest of us (me, older brother and sister) all introverts and needing down time but younger DD never seemed drained or weary. We coped better when she became a teenager. Then it was a good thing because she told me everything about her life🙈
Now she's grown up, married to another extrovert, and she has a hard time understanding her introvert son and how much time he needs on his own or just being quiet. Not being taken out all the time as she and her DH would like. Suits us all that he spends a lot of time with me😊

I just sometimes have to zone out for my own sanity. He just never stops - talking, moving, jumping on me. He even talks in his sleep.

The other problem is I am reserved and when we are out he wants to talk to everybody. It is painful to me, I can engage in chit-chat wi5h strangers in queues but he needs full-blown conversations.

I’ve got to say, I’m slightly relieved it’s bit just me!

People say we’re so alike looks wise but our personalities are very different. And I love that. She’s confident, brave, sporty, knows what she wants to do and be and is super smart who knows her own mind.

All the things I’m not! I crave my own space and company and just quiet time. I love her to death but she’s so loud

NOT just me!

I find it very stressful too and exhausting. I’ve taken to working four day weeks in part so I can get home stuff done but also in part so I can have 7 hours a week where nobody speaks! Ds has recently started xboxing in his room for a couple of hours a day on a weekend and sees his dad for a couple of hours, that helps.