27 & feel lost/I don't know what to do with my life. Thoughts?

[KatDubs261]

I graduated 5 years ago in English Lit & Journalism/Creative Writing. I've always wanted to be a writer and I did have a few short stories published, have had journalism published etc. Lately I've been writing a crime novel, which is going ok because I'm keeping at it.

But in terms of the day job after graduation I was mainly working as a content writer in marketing. Soon I realised I had no mental energy to write anything I wanted because all the PR stuff I was doing & it made me pretty miserable. I did become self-employed but ultimately it wasn't for me.

Next I moved to Spain to work as an ESL teacher. I've been doing that on/off for 3 years - I say on and off because I've back to the UK-> Spain again, twice. In that time I had a relationship where the guy ended up cheating and a shorter relationship with a guy who has since moved abroad for work, although we're semi-LDR.

Right now I teach at 3 companies & have a horrendous commute/brutal start most days. I applied to do a PGDE back in the UK this year, but was rejected by the uni I wanted and offered interviews in places that I'm not 100% about (so may need to try again next year). I'm also sort of sick of living with flatmates and would like to afford my own place again.

The thing is - I am generally happy living in Spain, but I'm not happy with the current job/salary. Occasionally other decent jobs do crop up but for the most part ESL is the only way to make money and I'm growing tired of it. I'm also growing tired of moving and changing friend groups so much. Plus romances not working out. So I don't know whether to back to the UK or stay in Spain when my contract ends in 3 months. It is all taking a toll of my mental health - any thoughts on how I can figure this out/

Anyone?!

Sorry, I'm 44 and still don't know what to do with my life. I'm no help.

I suppose the better question would be...

What should my next steps be? What does it sound like I'd be happy doing/could do, given what I've said here?

Hi OP, I can’t tell you what you should do next, but as someone who can relate to your story I can offer some advice that might help. My strongest advice to you would be that, whatever you do next, choose something that will enable you to put down roots and to become established, especially financially. It sounds like you’ve reached that point that lots of people get to in their mid-late twenties where they’ve travelled, tried different jobs, and are now starting to want a more stable life.

Stability (social, financial, location wise) will also enable you to look towards the next life stages of getting married and having a family, if you want them. The faster you can get established career wise, the more of yourself you can devote to your creative writing outside of work, as a day job that you know exactly how to do won’t ‘take’ so much of your energy. You may well find that when you have a more settled life you will attract more stable relationships too.

Only you can decide if you want to do a PGCE or to move into another field, but I wish you all the best with whatever you decide.

It sounds as though you would like to stay in Spain and move into a different area of work. So I would investigate that, if I were you - for example what kinds of roles do ex-TEFL people tend to move into? Find out about the Spanish jobs scene - perhaps a site for expats like TheLocal would be helpful? How’s your Spanish - good enough for translation? Etc.

Minta85 - there is nothing I'd like more than to be able to put roots down somewhere. My thought was I do the PGCE this year and then I can choose a place I really want to be in Europe the following year. But now that I didn't get into the uni I wanted/I turned down the other interviews, I might need to wait another year before I can go to uni again. I'll be 28 in October and I am feeling unsettled about not being any closer to settling down and being in a position to meet someone etc. Your comment about finding a more settled relationship once I am more established did strike a chord I have to say.

ElloBrian - yes ideally I'd like to stay in Spain. I could go back to the UK for a year & try to get a job where I can save a lot. But it will mean upending myself away from friends I've made again this year. I've lived in this current Spanish city for 3 years now and I am happy here generally. My Spanish is ok, but not improving nearly as much as I'd like because I'm working in English all day. I may have a lead on a travel agency job where both Spanish/English is spoken, it's one option anyway.

But yes - I'd love to hear from people who previously worked the TEFL lifestyle?? Longshot.

If you're trapped in a certain job that doesn't make you happy in Spain, then move back to the UK. I remember feeling equally lost at around 27/28 years old after years of trying out different things and living OS. My DM gave me a great piece of advice, which I'll pass onto you, as it worked for me: Choose where you want to be and everything else will fall into place. In my case, that actually didn't mean I was stuck in one place forever, but it meant I had a stability I hadn't had before.

Hmm. Well I wasn't happy in the UK! And I'm happy in Spain.

It's not that I dislike teaching - I was much happier in my job last year because I taught in one school. Now I commute left, right and centre teaching business classes in various places and it is exhausting. Ideally I want to be in one school with a good salary (if I continue teaching) but to do that I need the PGCE. Tbh I didn't expect to get rejected by that uni and now it's too late to interview with others.

I will try to heed your DM's advice/take it on board. Thanks.

I think it is great you have skills and have worked different countries and positions
I'm a firm believer in we do not decide on a career path and we are set for life.
Now days we need to adapt and be skilled to suit the job place knowing it is harder to be in work.
I think you are craving stability, that is getting hard with the cost of living..
A job may not be 100% perfect just make it work and figure out how you can be working and happy with your income and need for stimulation or goals, perhaps writing as your hobby to continue with your mental stimulation.
Figure out what jobs will provide you with enough income if possible,, ask for flexiable hours if need be.
I work a undesirable job with hours that we negotiated a later start... why because I'm Stable and that took a year to work out is what I needed and wanted.
I love my job for enabling me to become independent and free of those flat mates
Work out what jobs suit your needs and go for it. Sometimes in life we have to do what we have to do to survive and thrive.

Ok so I generally think that in head kinda of situations where everything is in doubt, pick one thing as your main decision and then see where that logically leads. So - you’d like to stay put in Spain. Therefore the question is, what kind of work can you do in your current location that maximises your skills and job satisfaction? Is it absolutely the case that you need a PGCE to teach in a single location (rather than moving around)? Is there a different type of mobile teaching you could do that’s less gruelling!?

Tbh given Brexit I wouldn’t come back to the U.K. now if you’re considering returning to Spain later on, as you risk losing your residency status.

The, not head.

I think you should read this book: How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones.

No, ElloBrian - it's the case that I need a PGCE to start getting teaching jobs with a higher salary. Every single one I've looked at in Spain in recent weeks require it.

One possibility I've looked at recently is remote editing/proofreading. They seem difficult to come by but I don't want to go back to content writing because I want to focus on my own fiction now.

Ah I see. Is there any chance of either studying in Spain or studying remotely?

It is something I am going to look into. I actually went for an interview at a British school where they told me it is possible (although it's not the same as doing it in UK). So I'd need to make sure the degree is still considered reputable...

But if I keep teaching in Spain without the PGCE I'll still be on quite a lot salary. This means I can't live alone or save. The perks are that I have good friends and love the city.

If I move back to UK I could get a well paid job and my own place. I'd probably make friends in time, although I know I'm not as happy there generally. It's such a difficult decision to make

I’ve known people who have applied for different jobs in different places and left it to fate to decide, by seeing which option comes up with an opportunity first. Maybe you could do that?! Just go for various different options and see which one works out most easily?

Yes, I think that's what I'll end up doing.

Also I've just kind of shocked myself by realising I started writing my novel a month ago and have already written 1/5 of it (first draft obviously). If I started the PGCE now I would have to sacrifice all my time to that - so maybe it's a blessing in disguise.