Am I doing the right thing (work and changing preschool)

[MaryBoBary]

I’ll try and keep this concise without drip feeding.

I used to work in marketing in hospitality. Had a great job with a lot of responsibility at a brand level for a national pub chain. Stopped working 2 years ago after developing post natal anxiety and depression, and not being able to cope anymore.

In January my son started a great local preschool which he loves. But the preschool is only open during term time. I got an evening job cleaning to bring some extra money in so that we wouldn’t have childcare issues in school holidays.

This cleaning job is 6 nights per week. This means we can never go away for a weekend to visit in laws as I need to keep any of my holiday back for when my partner goes away with work (so I am at home with our son in the evening).

Another job opportunity has come up, 3 days per week 9-3. It is within the hospitality industry in an admin capacity and I know I would be perfect for the job. It is no more money than I earn cleaning, but means we have or evenings and weekends back together.

To do this job we would need to move my son to a different preschool which is open all year round and not just in term time. I’m worried about doing this as he’s settled in well where he is now as loves it. I also worry (due to anxiety) that if I don’t end up enjoying this job, he would have moved preschool for nothing. I would need the new preschool to be in the nearby city, meaning any future jobs would also need to be in this city.

Am I worrying about nothing? Will my son he fine moving preschool? I can’t help but let myself panic about when he starts school in 2020 and what we do about school holidays then but my OH days to not think so far ahead and just do what’s right for us now. Any thoughts?

have you thought about a childminder? either for the holidays or instead of preschool?

My OH isn’t keen on the idea of a childminder. I went to a childminder from the age of 3 months to 11 and it was fine for me, but as a parent I worry about choosing the right one, and there not being as much info/recommendations and reviews to go on as there is for a nursery or preschool. BUT there would be continuity there when he starts school, being with the same person in the holidays.

I think go for it. The new job sounds good. Children adapt and you hav es to do what is right for you not just your child (job will positively impact all of you)

Thank you @Chilledout11 that’s really made me happy OH keeps saying that our family will all benefit from me feeling happier and more fulfilled at work but I feel guilty putting my needs and wants before my sons (which is what this is in my head). I do worry about school holidays and paying for a holiday club - but that is still over 18 months away. I just can’t help but let my mind spiral with worry about it all. I have to keep telling myself that other parents cope with this all the time but I just struggle to know how they do it!

OP I went to three primary schools. Actual school not preschool so if you factor that in it was probably 4, not sure if I went to a different Nursery.

I can assure you, it had no negative effect on me at all. I did all three moves in ‘infants’ so in fairly quick succession.

I’d say your DH is right, your son will be happy with a happy and fulfilled mummy. It sounds like you’ll have a better family life with more time together.

Go for it but don’t make a big deal of the school switch to your son, just take him to meet the new preschool and focus on the positives and he’ll be fine, he’s so young, he’ll adjust quickly.

By the time you need to worry about school holidays, your job may have changed, salary may have increased but most importantly it will be something both you and DH will have to resolve, not just you and a bit to your working hours / salary

Thank you @MimiSunshine that’s really reassuring.

I’m also worrying if you can only move preschool at the end of a term due to the funded hours. Or can you move at anytime and transfer the funded hours immediately? Anyone done this/know? Can a preschool dictate this eg his current one say they will continue to claim for him until the end of term and then i will have to pay for the new one until hours are transferred? Because we can’t afford to do this.

Glad to hear it 👍🏻

I’ve no idea about your second question but I would have thought your current preschool had a notice period of one month or one term so you would have to pay / have the funding go to them for that period and then DS would leave and start the new preschool with the funding transferring over with him.

I'd definitely move him OP. Hope it all goes well for you!