Helping children manage anger

[whatever12]

8yo is in trouble for lashing out at someone. He was provoked, but that doesn't stop the lashing out being wrong.

Any tips on how to help him manage his anger in future? We've talked about deep breaths, walking away etc.

youngminds.org.uk/find-help/feelings-and-symptoms/anger/

Reminds me of when the DDs were little. One of them shouted in fury that she hated another child’s guts. Their headmistress overheard, and admonished:” No, no, you don’t hate her, you merely dislike her”.
Whereupon DD, unimpressed, shouted at the child: “I dislike your guts!”
I think it depends on the child as to which approach would be best to manage anger, OP. You could try saying that only toddlers lash out and it’s very babyish - big kids and adults can control themselves. Your DC won’t want to be thought a baby.
You could point out how painful it is to be on the receiving end of such violence, and how would DC like it if their victim hit back harder.
You could explain that it’s illegal to hit people and will lead to your DC being arrested if they continue to do this when older.

You could use a bible based response, saying that Jesus asks us to love our enemies, and to turn the other cheek etc.
You can advise walking away, mindfulness, dissociating from the emotion.
You can reward and encourage good behaviour and express disappointment at failure of control.
Eventually your child will grow up. Most adults manage not to knock six bells out of each other in a temper, and hopefully nor will your DC!

We're working our way through this book

Same here with DD 8 ... at home she has her calming corner (my bed with iPod) and it has worked so far as we have had great support from Head Start (REACH) they also taught her clench your fist (fist is a flower) smell the flower counting to 5, them release your index finger (candle ) and blow the candle out slowly, My DD done it a few times not sure now though
Hope this helps

Thanks all - much appreciated