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Original poster

Split night- PLEASE HELP!

28 replies

Emily920 · 23/03/2019 07:35

Hi Everyone, I really need some help as I am so exhausted!!

My daughter is 11 1/2 months old and her routine at the moment is..

6:30am wake up
7:00 breakfast
8am 4oz bottle
9am NAP- 1hour
10am snack
12pm -Lunch
1pm/2pm -NAP -45 minutes
3pm snack
5pm Dinner
6:00 bath
6:30 bottle and bed

Now my issue is, she sleeps well until 10:30pm and wakes up to come into our bed.. she won’t settle unless I put her in. I’ve tried the cry it out but she gets really worked up and I just can’t do it!

When she comes into our bed, she then sleeps well again until 2:30-3am and spends the rest of the night pretty much awake.. trying to crawl around, etc. I try everything to get her back to sleep but she just doesn’t want to which results in me just lying there awake to make sure she doesn’t fall off the bed and I just let her get tired again before she nods off herself at about 5am but then is awake at 6:30!! This has been going on now for about 2 months!!

If you have Been though this, please can you give me some advice! I really don’t know what to do 🙈 Thank you x

OP posts:
maerd · 23/03/2019 07:41

I wonder if she is overtired? For day time naps I would maybe suggest a half hour nap for the morning and then a two hour nap after lunch to help her get through the afternoon. Do you feed her when she wakes at 10.30pm?

MoreSlidingDoors · 23/03/2019 07:45

Is she getting ready to walk? 1.5 hrs of daytime sleep doesn’t sound enough.

wendz86 · 23/03/2019 07:47

Sounds tough! I'd try and get her to stop the morning nap although i imagine that will be hard if shes up half the night. Try keep her awake, then a longer lunchtime nap but a bit earlier. Maybe have lunch a little earlier.

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FusionChefGeoff · 23/03/2019 07:48

Definitely more daytime sleep. The 45minutes is a classic single sleep cycle - mine we're having more like 2 hours in the afternoon at that age.

You need to try to get her back off if she wakes after 45 mins.

Blackout blinds in the bedroom, white noise, no talking, shush pat etc

7circlemats · 23/03/2019 07:50

By that age my daughter was having one nap midday for about 2 hours. Could you try and cut out the morning nap (difficult I know) but she's not sleeping at night and then catching up at 9am.

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 07:58

Thank you all, I was thinking it must have something to do with her nappin but she’s so exhausted in the morning that it’s a struggle to keep her awake!

She doesn’t have bottles at all in the night so from 6:30pm she doesn’t have a bottle until 8am the next morning but she definitely isn’t hungry in the night because I’ve tried a bottle plenty of times and she’s not interested!

So just try and keep her awake until 12? That’s nearly 6 hours of her being awake though, surely she’d be over tired by 12pm?

Yesterday, she had 1 nap al day. She went to sleep at 9:30am and didn’t wake up until 11:30am and that was it for the whole day but she was exhausted at 6:30pm x

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 23/03/2019 08:02

My son is much older, 16 months, and he is only just transitioning to one nap, which is pretty normal. It’s a pretty long process too, dropping naps 😄 he has around an hour or more at 8am (up at 6), and up to 3 hours from 11 or 12. So he wakes up around 2.30 or 3. I’ve always thought good day sleep leads to good night sleep.

TeethingBabyHelp · 23/03/2019 08:03

Hi OP
My son is a similar age and naps much more in daytime
He's usually up anywhere between 6-7 and then goes down between 9.30-1000 for his first nap and will have 90 mins - 2 hours.
He's then up until 3pm when he goes down for another nap and will have 90 minutes.
Then bedtime at 7.30pm and he sleeps through generally so usually has around 11 hours at night.

I don't think you need to skip the morning nap just yet personally. If DS doesn't nap well then he doesn't sleep well at night because he's overtired and doesn't self settle as well in his cot

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 08:04

And does he sleep well in the night?

I would love nothing more than for her to go down for 2 hours + in the day. But she’s always been a cat napper. Got to admit, she’s getting better because before she would only have 30 minutes at a time 🙈

I don’t know how to keep her awake lol, and I feel sorry for her if she’s exhausted and just wants to sleep but I won’t let her x

OP posts:
TeethingBabyHelp · 23/03/2019 08:05

Sorry posted too soon. Meant to say maybe this is the case with your DD, being overtired and then not able to settle herself back to sleep. Have you read about wake to sleep method at all for extending afternoon nap? That worked for us when DS was much smaller as he kept waking after 45 minutes but was clearly still tired

BendydickCuminsnatch · 23/03/2019 08:11

My eldest was a cat napper, have you tried re-settling her if she hasn’t had a long enough nap? I had to work really hard to get DS1 to take big naps but it was really worth it for the night sleep!

Onceuponacheesecake · 23/03/2019 08:14

I agree that she definitely needs more day time sleep.

WeeDoughball · 23/03/2019 08:15

No advice OP as I have the exact same problem and he's also a cat napper (has been from the start unlike DS1).

He self settles for naps and at bed time but during the night he wakes up screaming and won't self settle unless he comes in to our bed which is something we didn't do with DS1 but I've taken the easy option and now paying for it Sad

Is it likely down to naps? His aren't helped by having to go to DS1 activities etc but if that's the issue we'll maybe stay home for a bit to try and crack them

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 08:21

I don’t know how to do this, do I do what ever it takes to get her back to sleep if she wakes up? Or do I try and make her self settle back to sleep? Because I can almost guarantee that won’t happen.. once she’s awake, she’s awake unless I’m next to her and I can quickly put her dummy back in before she properly opens her eyes... for the time being shall I just try and get her used to sleeping longer? Doesn’t matter how that’s achieved or? ....

OP posts:
TeethingBabyHelp · 23/03/2019 08:31

I'd use wake to sleep to extend her naps and go from there. You can read more and it feels crazy to disturb your sleeping child but this is roughly what I did to get DS into longer naps which massively improved his night time sleeping.

If she usually has 45 mins in day, I'd go into her after 30 minutes and really gently disturb her. I used to make sure I had a dummy on hand and gently change his position in cot and reinsert his dummy. It was enough to make him rub his eyes and stir but not fully wake up. He would then settle back into a new sleep cycle! I did it for 3 days and on the 4th day left him and he slept for more than 45 mins.

MrsAmaretto · 23/03/2019 08:42

I’d wake her up after 30mins in the morning nap and hopefully increase her midday nap to 2 hours. You may need to start her afternoon nap earlier for the first week.

I’d stop bringing her into your bed too. Your getting no sleep anyway, so have a pillow and a chair & duvet in her room, and keep putting her back in her cot

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 08:43

Yeah I just read up on it.. I’m going to try that then... fingers crossed for me! I really hope it is the napping that’s causing her to wake up like this, I can’t think of what else it could be to be honest!! Not every night for the last 2 months 😩 Thank you all! You may of just saved my sanity 😊 x

OP posts:
Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 10:23

Ok so here it goes.

She went to bed for a nap this morning at 9:30am, I went in at 10:00am and moved her onto her stomach ( she stirred a little) as I know she sleeps longer in this position. She is still asleep now.. is that wake to sleep? .. I suppose we will find out if she wakes up in the next 30 minutes x

OP posts:
TeethingBabyHelp · 23/03/2019 11:51

Yes @Emily920 that's wake to sleep! Well done. Hopefully after a few days she'll start settling herself when she comes round mid cycle Smile

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 17:38

@Teethingbabyhelp.. it worked!!
She slept until 11:15am so a total of 1 hour 45 minutes! That very rarely happens.. unfortunately, we were out for her 2nd nap which was about 2:30pm and that lasted for about 40 minutes.. I’m planning on putting her in the bath at 6:30 and bed for 7 then doing the same wake to sleep technique tonight 🤞😊 xx

OP posts:
TeethingBabyHelp · 23/03/2019 18:12

Well done @Emily920 ! I'm so glad it worked for you. Did you wake her again during that nice long morning nap or did that one disturbance after 30 minutes do the trick?
I never did it at night so you'll have to let me know how you get on tomorrow. Good luck!

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 18:17

@Teethingbabyhelp No just the once seemed to do the trick 😊 I’ve told my partner about it and he’s excited Haha!

Fingers crossed it work tonight, she always wakes at the same time at night aswell so it must be habit! I’m on a mission to break that habit 😁🙌🏻 X

OP posts:
WeeDoughball · 23/03/2019 19:22

Well done. I need to try this tomorrow with naps, DH thinks I've lost my mind talking about waking him 😂

Sadly the past few nights there's been no routine to his night wake ups as we've had 6am, 1230am and 1130pm so don't think I'll risk it through the night 🙄

Original poster
Emily920 · 23/03/2019 20:06

@weedoughball my partner was the same at first but then I explained it to him and he compared it to how he feels in the morning when he wakes up at 6:00am and I tell him he can go back to sleep 😂 He said that sleep from then on is the best ever!

It makes sense though.. it’s a great way to teach them to sleep longer! I don’t know if it’s best to just do naps at the moment and hope that automatically sorts out the night or try the night aswell? What do you think?

OP posts:
WeeDoughball · 23/03/2019 20:11

@Emily920 I love that analogy from your partner! 😂

I think if you've got a regular wake up time through the night I'd try it at night too. Good luck