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Original poster

amongst your friends who is considered easier- boys or girls?

55 replies

beclev24 · 22/03/2019 20:53

I'm talking about young children here. Where we live and amongst my friendship group, almost everyone I know believes that girls are 'easier'- they are generally more compliant, quieter etc etc whereas boys are much naughtier/ more active/ physical/ likely to wear you out etc. (I have boys and this generally chimes with what I see with them vs the girls that they know) Then I was talking to a friend who lives a long way away and she said where she lives people believe the complete opposite- that boys are much simpler / less full of drama etc etc. I was really surprised to see just how different the general perception was.

I know these things are stereotypes/ that kids are individuals etc etc. I'm not so interested in the reality of which is true- more in what the general perception is where you live/ in your friendship group about which sex is easier to raise? Or does no one talk about this at all?

OP posts:

Rockbird · 23/03/2019 06:39

I agree with the up to 7 thing. Friends with boys are having a very easy ride now while my 11yo DD1 is a holy nightmare! DD2 has just turned 7 and I'm bracing myself...

BertieBotts · 23/03/2019 06:41

It's socialising though isn't it? Little boys are told constantly that they are meant to be loud, messy, boisterous, defiant - just look at their clothing - and should identify with metal killing machines, fierce predators and "tough guys" and little girls are told constantly that they are pretty, cute, and should smile (again clothing), be calm and kind, enjoy crafting and caring play - and should identify with delicate butterflies, soft fluffy kittens, nurturing mother figures.

By the teens it's socialising again but more subtle - men don't have emotions except anger but once the anger is dispelled ("testosterone") everything can go back to normal. But women can't call people out on their shit, that's "bitchy", instead manipulation and implied mind reading is the acceptable way to make your feelings clear. And girls are expected to navigate and manage this among their friends or they are not considered a good friend.

Minai · 23/03/2019 06:41

Hard to say. I have 2 boys 18 months apart and I have met people who recoil in horror when they hear they are both boys and others who tell me I’ll be fine and that I’m lucky they are both boys as it will be easier.

My eldest is only 22 months so imo there is no difference right now. I find him easy and have done since he was 3 months and his colic stopped and my little one is a very easy baby too. I’m sure a lot of it is down to personality.

Itstartedinbarcelona · 23/03/2019 06:46

My DD was always the easiest- she was very placid always happy to go along with what we wanted to do - didn’t cry much as a baby, slept through easily and wasn’t a naughty toddler. DS was more challenging on all of these fronts and a lot more boisterous. However now DD is 12 hormones have kicked in, she never wants to do what we do, spends all of her time in her room and rolls her eyes every time we speak to her. Whereas DS (8) is funny, chatty and loves spending time and doing things with us. So I agree that it all changed around the teenage years.

deathbycats · 23/03/2019 06:50

Girls are easier up to 7?! Fml DD is only 4 and has been hard work since she evacuated my womb. It’s going to get worse?! 😭

IVEgottheDECAF · 23/03/2019 06:55

Dd (5) is my most hard work child by miles (also have 3 ds - 11, 9 and 2)

thaegumathteth · 23/03/2019 07:31

I live in an urban area in Scotland not sure if it’s relevant though.

People generally say girls are stubborn, strong willed and determined. Boys not so much.

moomoogalicious · 23/03/2019 07:36

It didn't really come up with my friends but from my experience it depends totally on the personality and nature of the child rather than what's between their legs. My dd1 has been incredibly hard work (asc), you name it we've been through it. Ds and dd2 are easy although have their moments like any child.

EleanorLavish · 23/03/2019 07:36

I’ve got three boys and my mum is constantly in awe of how quiet they are. She is always telling people that they are the quietest kids she knows.
I took them away for a few days and the owners of the house told me they couldn’t get over how tidy the house was when they came to clean it, we were the tidiest people they had ever had apparently.
My sister (a vice principal) says the kids in her school would eat them alive as mine are so unstreet smart it’s unreal.
😂
I don’t know where they get it from. They very rarely cause me a days bother. Middle one has an extreme case of ‘go slow syndrome’, but other than that...
As a mass generalisation I would say girls seem to be more organised and diligent.

lablablab · 23/03/2019 07:44

It does depend on the child but I find boys much harder.

I have a dd and a ds. Both have been challenging at times but I've found my ds much harder.

He doesn't sleep, he's so physically active and constantly charging around. He doesn't listen and is still quite dependent (doesn't like doing his own shoes, etc). But he's 'tougher' and emotionally much more resilient. My dd worries more.

People say boys are more loving but both dc are very cuddly and loving.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 23/03/2019 07:47

DD was highly social as soon she could focus. She would smile, make eye contact, pat and stroke. She was pretty active as she got older, very chatty, and much given to spending time in A&E after doing something deranged. DGS is just as sociable, and even more active. He's already been to A&E at 14 months after deliberately rolling down the stairs.

It'll be the teenage years where the contrast shoes, I think. DD was vile, and caused me more pain than I'd ever previously experienced. She's lovely now though: "You're like a girlfriend, only fat and bald".

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 23/03/2019 07:47

Shows, not shoes. FFS.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 23/03/2019 07:53

Mine were 50/50

Babies and toddlers
DS never slept and was a maniac whirlwind of cheeky energy
DD was well behaved and slept loads

Primary school
DD generally well behaved but had lots of girl fallings out and drama.
DS well behaved and no fallings out but struggled at times with academic work and focus.

High School
DD friendships exhausting but no problem with school and homework
DS always in trouble but friendships thick as thieves

Adults
They are both delightful, got good higher educations, have good jobs and are funny, clever and kind with a solid base of long standing close friends.

They both still rely on us to a certain extent with emotional help in their new adult worlds.

BikeRunSki · 23/03/2019 07:58

I am 1 of 4 children, 2 boys, then 2 girls. We are all in our 40s and fifties now.

DM’s only patenting advice, ever, had been “Boys mess up your house, girls mess up your mind”.

grasspigeons · 23/03/2019 08:04

everyone tells me boys are so much easier. I think its because I only have boys so I cant possibly know if its true so they can 'win' at parenting as they obviously have it tougher

I'm very much on the children have their own personalities and difficulties and this has little to do with their sex.

A teenage girl might have a good set of friends, sail through her academics and be really into and orchestra whilst a teenage boy joins a gang and takes drugs. Or a girl might be self harming and school refusing and a boy focussed on his sports club.

I also think a lot of mums make their daughters harder work by having more of a vested interest in them. So more of an idea over what they should wear, how they should behave and what they should be interested in. It just gives more potential for clashes!

Hopelesscase28 · 23/03/2019 08:30

Dd has been easier from the moment she was born. Ds didn’t sleep through until he was 5 so that was largely what made him such hard work. He was also a nightmare because he was overtired a lot of the time but the more tired he was the less he’d sleep. He does have ASD though so maybe that explains a lot of what has always made him hard work.

Among my friends people generally moan about the boys, not the girls. My dd isn’t exactly placid and is stubborn but she sleeps and she eats whatever you give her and is much much more affectionate than ds ever was. I feel bad saying it but she’s a joy really...mostly. Ds has always been more of something to be endured a lot of the time.

MattMagnolia · 23/03/2019 08:52

Agree with the general perception that boys are easier than girls up until about 11.
I have all girls, my sister has all boys. I found that parents act very differently towards teenage girls, actively protecting them and more aware of the dangers of friendship issues, mental health problems and the possibility of too-early sex and possible pregnancy.

Dohangoversgetworseasyougetold · 23/03/2019 08:55

BertieBotts - well said.

AnotherEmma · 23/03/2019 09:01

Luckily, my friends don't believe in gender stereotypes.

A child's behaviour has nothing to do with their biological sex, it depends on their personality and how they are parented as well as wider social influences. Unfortunately boys and girls are both affected by gender stereotypes, which are often harmful even when you make a conscious effort to resist them.

BlueMerchant · 23/03/2019 09:02

I live in a small town. General perception around here is that girls are by far the most 'challenging'.
I have one boy and one girl. Both primary school age. My girl is and has always been overall more of a challenge. She has always needed more stimulation (never can play alone) and is more stubborn, more social and generally needs 'entertaining' at all times. My son can play alone and tends to 'entertain' himself. Has a few pals and plays without too much 'drama'.

MrHaroldFry · 23/03/2019 09:17

I had boy/girl twins. Both quiet and easy going with girl preferring to be 'in charge' of play etc. I think it wholly depends on personality of child, parents style of parenting and general demeanour ( shouty, calm, anxious etc) and atmosphere of home they are in. So many factors determine behaviour outcomes,

beenhereages1 · 23/03/2019 09:39

I don't have girls - have two boys pre teen/teen

Going by friends comments and how I see the behaviour of DS's friends I'd say girls seem easier in the early days but harder work when they hit the teenage years.

Some of the stuff DS1 (15) tells me about the girls is awful. Bitchy, sly and just generally unpleasant. Not all of his "girl" friends are like that though thankfully!

pineappletower · 23/03/2019 09:43

As a PP said, it depends on what you find difficult. IME girls are harder emotionally. More demanding of attention, conversation, as well as being much more independent and strong willed. Boys are harder because they tend to be more physically boisterous, but generally more biddable. All from quite a young age.

That said, this is all very generalised. My SIL has three girls that are very physical and boisterous.

Ithinkmycatisevil · 23/03/2019 09:44

I have two girls who were very different as small children. One was a real moaner and emotionally draining, the other in to everything and alsways on the go. So I think it's more down to the child than anything.

That said, I do find little boys more irritating than little girls. From age about 4-12 boys on the whole seem to do more annoying things. Nothing against boys, and it's not only my view, my friends who have sons, obviously love them dearly, but do find them more annoying than their daughters if they have them.

ShabbyAbby · 23/03/2019 09:47

One of each. Both are non stop and tireless. Neither of them are easier. Ones a better eater, the other a better sleeper. They both challenge and worry me in different ways.

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