How do explain gender to your children?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

DS is in reception and is currently a bit obsessed with being/not being a girl.

He (sometimes) wants to dress in skirts and wear his hair like a girl with bows. He has been asking if he was a boy or girl when he was born.

I’m not assuming there’s anything more significant to this than him being a curious 4 year old. But I don’t feel I’ve got any good answers to why he can’t wear a skirt at school etc. And where to draw the line with letting him dress up how he wants.

Help?

I tell mine to concentrate on being decent human beings and not to be concerned with what misguided liberals are peddling as their latest cause.

I have two older boys who played with dolls, kitchens and pink toys when they were nippers as well as train sets, toy guns and Lego.

Thankfully, they're both out of the school system. I think I'd go bonkers if they were being taught about this at school. Suicide, self harm, eating disorders and gender confusion are all contagious - in the psychosocial sense - and schools are not best placed to educate on these matters as they should be free from political influence which schools definitely are not.

Sex is biological.
Gender is a socially constructed stereotype.
The two are completely different and should not be conflated.
However, unfortunately, conflation has become prevalent in recent years.
The reasons behind this trend are already very well explained on this site.

None of the boys in my schools would be seen dead in cardigans!
And most of the girls refuse to wear jumpers. I am not even sure where that comes from, it annoys parents who have several siblings and the youngest refuse to wear hand-me-downs that are from the wrong gender.

Really?
My kids primary it's 50/50 boys / girls jumpers / cardis

I had NO IDEA this was gendered.

This is another issue.

We obviously don't even "know" all the same "rules".

Which doubly confirms that it's made up bollocks.

The result here could be >>

Joint school outing, loads of boys in cardis from school A get piss ripped out of them by jumper wearing boys from school B
School A boys feel defensive / upset / demeaned and never wear a cardi again
And probably go home and tell their mum off for allowing this terrible fate to befall them by buying the wrong uniform...

• why is it so terrible for boys to wear clothes "for girls"? We all know why and it doesn't seem to be getting better - we've been in reverse since the early 90s!

I can't believe CARDIGANS are gendered I had no idea this was even a thing

Trying to wrap my head round it

Bubbins why don't you just let him wear his hair up and wear a skirt?

At home we do. To be honest he’s not really pushing much to do so at school - I just take out the clips in his hair when we’re getting ready for school and try not to make a big deal of it. But he’s asking more questions about it. Honestly can’t see me taking on the system and sending him to school in a skirt and pigtails.

Well that's sad.

You might have some fun looking at fashions for small boys in history.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breeching_(boys)

He's a boy because he's got a willy and will grow up to be a man, maybe a daddy, it doesn't matter what he wears or what he plays with. The school may have silly rules about what boys and girls can wear, maybe mention that schools didn't used to let girls wear trousers, some still don't but most know now that was a silly rule.

It’s listed as part of the girls inform here. Not many boys wear it only a couple but they do and nobody bats an eye really just the same as the boys with long hair but under the school rules it mentions girls long hair not boys as it’s seen as for girls again.

My son and his group of friends wouldn’t be seen dead in a cardi then again most wont put a jumper on either.

Well that's sad.

I’m all for challenging gender norms but I would question the priorities of any parent who would send their 4 year old boy into school in girls uniform. It’s one thing when children are wearing their own clothes and have more liberty to express themselves, it’s another when there are specific expectations around uniform.