If you're a sahm with small children, what do you do to keep sane?

[shipsha]

I have just had my 3rd child. I've had to leave work and won't be going back till she's 3 so that's 2 years away.

Im finding the whole staying at home and looking after the kids etc utterly awful. Baby is very difficult, clingy and just doesn't let me do anything. Shes a bad sleeper as well.

This all is affecting my mental health negatively. I know that if I went back to work I would feel a lot more happier as I would get a break from the kids and feel im doing something for myself.

However since I don't have a choice im stuck for the next 2 years.

What can I do to keep my sanity? What things help you feel that you're not going crazy if you have little ones?

Been stuck at home with kids for almost 4 years. I’ve lost the plot.

I need to plan. Boring I know.
I (try to) plan meals and times and outing and nap times.
It helps the kids too. I don’t always manage it. No where near as much as I’d like.
It’s sometimes easier to be out of the house than in. Including faff of leaving.
I’ve learnt I need me time in evening. I need to run or exercise at least once a week.

I love my kids and believe in being there for them but I’m also I also believe you can’t give from an empty jug n all that.

Can't believe the sanctimonious shites on here

'Why did you have a third child then?' One of the most vile woman hating pish I've ever heard on here. Get to fuck.

I watch one tv show a day of my choosing. It might be Pointless or Queer Eye or whatever. I have a cup of tea and a biscuit while I watch it. Baby sits with me on sofa or on floor with toys and DS has his books or iPad.

It's my hour. It keeps me sane.

I just stick the kids on mute.

Some days it's bloody awful isn't it?

Don't expect too much, make the most of the good days and resign yourself to the bad ones. The weather has a massive impact - I always found rainy days the hardest until I bought wet weather gear and let them splosh away in the garden.

I'm not one for back to back activities, my kids always needed a bit of down time to just be for a bit.

You could always try and arrange play date meet ups in the pub, but the other mums might be a bit judging. (I always wanted to suggest it just to see their faces!).

The early days are special. Magical even

Erm, maybe for you. Why on earth comment on a thread where someone is struggling and tell them they're wrong!? It's stuff like this that means I'm off now and slowly going mad...my DM went on and on about how amazing it all was and only once I had DS did she start to admit how lonely and trapped and bored she felt for 10 YEARS. But I'd had a lifetime of being told that being a SAHM was the greatest job and privilege and had never really considered going back to work and had to leave my job after maternity because it was shift based and we couldn't have got childcare. I do agree with pp suggestions about getting out and about. We've just moved and it's much easier to get out here, nicer parks and more toddler groups. It's better from a psychological point of view but I'm finding it physically exhausting! Think I'm on the edge tbh. In a couple of weeks I'm going to be able to have a morning to myself one weekday as DH has flexitime so that's my lifeline! Is there anyone who can give you a break now and then? I also agree that you should speak to your GP. I had a difficult baby and am only starting to realise how bad my PND was as I was just trying to keep going at the time. Even just talking to someone can really help! OP...I hope it gets easier for you soon.

You know what op unless you create magic, fun times and happy memories they ain’t honna happen. It won’t and can’t happen every day. Some days will be a total write off. But aim for a few mornings of week to really smile, sing and laugh. Add fairy walks to your day. Let the house work wait whilst you enjoy your children. Nothing ever happens spontaneously, a lot of hard work, planning, effort and exhaustion goes into your dc.

You may wish to avoid having regrets, if you want to look back and thInk I could have enjoyed them more, had happier days and used my time more positively.

I am simply saying that there will a day sooner than you think when you head off back to work, and they will not be tiny anymore but growing up fast.

Rather than approaching the next two years like a prison sentence try and plan the best two years ever for your kids. List a bucket list of all the things you would like to do with them, and get going. Coffee is your best friend

How would you work anyway? You sound dog tired, you can stay at home and do not need to trudge out to a ft job on top of this.

If you really can’t face any of these suggestions on the thread then maybe it’s time to get some support (whatever you can stretch to) and a chat to your doctor to check for PND.

Bloody hell, the smug comments about how magical this time is make me want to vomit.

You may as well jump out of the screen shouting 'I'm a much better mother than you are'.

Really not very helpful and utter bollocks anyway. Grrrrrrrrr.

Fuck me the "ra ra magic" posts on this thread are something else. Yes sometimes it's magical, but sometimes it's unrelenting slog even before you throw sleep deprivation and whinginess into the mix.

OP, why are you stuck for the next two years? Why isn't work an option if that's what you want?

Like a PP I'd say get out of the house at all costs, twice a day if need be. Giant bag of rice cakes in the changing bag and just go. I also tend to do child-focused stuff in the morning, home for lunch and naps, then a wander round the supermarket or park in the afternoon.

I love it, although now they are older (11 and 8) they can sometimes have some pretty full on rough and tumbles and arguments with each other. It's pretty quiet when they're at school but I do get a lot done. When they were tiny I tended to do what I could and not stress about the rest - more important to enjoy the time, and we spent a lot of time visiting friends or having them to our house, child-free cafes and Wagamamas and lots of baby and toddler classes!

The early days are special. Magical even
This

Op... its still very very early days if you've just had number 3.. and the third one is the one you need a 3third pair of hands for. and the first month is just constant feeding but try to go with the flow, this is going to change. The whole two years won't be like this.
I remember being just where you were sitting in a playgroup in the winter with newborn, it had taken me 3 hours just to get us both there and when they all started singing The Wheels On the Bus.. I nearly burst into tears.
BUT.. the good news is, your older children will entertain the baby.. and things will improve in leaps and bounds as baby gets into a bit more of a routine. Get out and about, plan some nice things for yourself and the baby to do, grab some down time during the day to catch up on sleep if you need it. Get OH to give you a weekend slot to give you a break, even if its just for an hour.
You'll find some nice things to do and start to enjoy it.. Don't think about the two year thing just take it one month at a time. Best of luck xx

Op that's really tough, I'm sorry you're not alone. I am really struggling too so have signed up to an evening class one night a week just so I can be an adult again and have an hour to myself a week.