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Original poster

Stalker

25 replies

HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 05:14

I have a stalker. Its v annoying because he is extremely careful not to say anything incriminating so if i report him, i look crazy. Anyone else?

I know him through work, trade shows, and he is easily old enough to be my dad. I have always been polite, but nothing more. He ended up with my number for business purposes and has pestered me ever since. He engineered a situation where i would be alone with him fairly early on, but i got so weirded out by his creepy demeanor i made my excuses and the meet never happened.

He texted me on a regular basis, on the surface 'caring', but with a strange bossy undertone - not 'why dont you put your feet up?' but 'put your feet up now'.

I unfortunately had to see him at a trade show and it was horrific - he hugged and kissed me (i never do this, and certainly never made physical contact with him before) but it was so quick it wrongfooted me and i had to let it happen.

After that he tracked me down on fb. I left fb. I stopped replying to his messages out of politeness (never including the kisses he sends me!). It took three months for him to give up texting, and i saw his tone get a bit snippy but like i say he is so careful not to say anything i could report. I think its his game to make me snsp and then i'll look crazy bcoz he's just 'being nice'.

I thought i was rid of him but he rang again recently. Of course i ignored but i gave voicemails i have to listen to in order to delete.

Just wanted to vent really. Really annoyed i cant just knee him in the balls Grin and wondering if he will EVER give up, and why me?

OP posts:
todayiwin · 22/03/2019 05:45

Block him.

Lorna1209 · 22/03/2019 05:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

todayiwin · 22/03/2019 06:13

Hi @Lorna1209 I think you're on the wrong thread

If you report your list MNHQ will move so you get some advice

SexNotJenga · 22/03/2019 06:25

Have you told him not to contact you? Because if you have, and he has continued to contact you, then even if the content is superficially benign, you can report him. Don't delete messages, keep them.

Original poster
HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 06:29

I've kept all messages just in case. If i block, i still have to see him at shows and if i ask him not to contact i'm sure i'll get 'why? Im just being nice...' and i dont have a good answer and will be that crazylady who makes stuff up.

However, i have thought of a plan - if he paints me as crazy, i will tell ppl he sent dick pics!

OP posts:
BigBairyHollocks · 22/03/2019 06:31

I think you should take this seriously.Keep all records of his contact including any message,tell him repeatedly that you do not wish to be contacted by him,and if he persists,have the police give him a stern talking to to start with.Hopefully it won’t progress that you will need any further measures in place.

FrancesHaHa · 22/03/2019 06:34

I think you should get some proper advice from either Paladin paladinservice.co.uk or National Stalking Helpline www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline. They can advise you on the law and safety plan with you.

wowfudge · 22/03/2019 06:35

Don't lie - that will lead to you not being believed. Have you told your manager what is going on? A business contact using FB to contact you, etc is overstepping the mark and if I told my manager that, it would be understood and believed.

taybert · 22/03/2019 06:37

Don’t lie about him sending you dick pics - surely then you’re doing exactly what you say he’ll say you’re doing.

ShitAtScarbble · 22/03/2019 06:45

Saying he's sent dick pics is a really bad idea - and apart from anything else, if the situation escalates you will be unable to prove your allegation.
If he's ringing you then consider getting a cheap no-frills phone and put your sim in that. You don't even need to turn it on. Nobody else will have the number so he can ring it to his heart's content. Then get another sim for your main phone without giving him that number.
Likewise with e mail if he's bothering you that way - get a throwaway address and let that be the one he contacts you on. Never open it.

yearinyearout · 22/03/2019 06:49

Why are you concerned about seeing him at shows? Block his number and if he sees you and asks why, tell him the truth, that his constant messages made you uncomfortable and you want no contact with him. Any emails can be deleted without being read.

Original poster
HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 07:09

Because i think thats the game, year in - make me look irrational in front of our peers. I think this probably started as an attraction thing (and he pounced on perceived vulnerability after my divorce) and when i 'rejected' him by getting out of that situation where we were going to be alone its turned into 'punishment'.

I also dont want or need a long, whiny conversation justifying why ive blocked him when he's 'only being nice'.

I will certainly be refusing physical contact very loudly now im prepared if that comes up again!

Ok i wont lie about the pics. I cant tell a manager i'm a sole trader.

OP posts:
Original poster
HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 07:11

Shit at - i've done exactly that! I ignored his requests for my address obvs Hmm and got an slternative phone. I still use the old number for business though

OP posts:
NigelYerABawbag · 22/03/2019 07:13

You won't have to be part of any whiny conversation if you block him - he won't be able to contact you! Just send him one last message on every platform he's used, stating clearly that you don't want any further contact from him. Then block him. If he approaches you, turn away and don't engage. If anyone asks you about it just tell the truth - he made you feel uncomfortable so you don't have any contact with him now.

Original poster
HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 08:56

I mean in person nigel, we are lijely to bump into each other at trade shows. I've stopped buying his product now, but he still exists and shows no sign of retiring!?

OP posts:
wowfudge · 22/03/2019 09:59

Then you should tell him straight you don't want him to contact you. You don't need to explain why, but you could say there is no longer any reason for him to contact you. If he ignores you, then go to the police. You will be taken seriously.

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 22/03/2019 10:03

Yes, as above. I presume you don’t reply to any of his text messages so as evidence you’ll have streams of him texting with no replies.

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 22/03/2019 10:05

You don’t need to justify yourself to him! Why do you feel you have to? You don’t need to always be polite etc, tell him you’re uncomfortable with all the contact and want it to stop. Then block his number and ignore totally.

Original poster
HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 10:39

Yup got a long string of messages - i havent replied since august! This has been going on almost a year.

No one else had similar?

OP posts:
Funkaccino · 22/03/2019 10:44

I blocked you because you made me uncomfortable.

If he then acts agressive you have proof if he doesn't youre done with him.

Funkaccino · 22/03/2019 10:46

Why have you blocked me?

I've ignored all of your messages since August and you keep messaging me.

Also you hugged and kissed me without pernission.

Luglio · 22/03/2019 10:48

I also dont want or need a long, whiny conversation justifying why ive blocked him when he's 'only being nice'.

You need to get tough I'm afraid. Loads of us have had similar, yes.

Good advice upthread - tell him clearly that you want him to leave you alone. He is harassing you, and he knows it. And so will the police, if it comes to that.

BluebadgenPIP · 22/03/2019 10:48

Block him.

If he asks you anything at trade shows just say “I blocked you because you made me uncomfortable. You hugged and kissed me without permission and you were bossy and I didn’t like your tone. I do not want any contact with you. Leave me alone. “

And then go to the policeif he bothers you again.

Original poster
HelicopteringBastard · 22/03/2019 14:22

Ok i blocked Grin

OP posts:
Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 23/03/2019 08:44

Well done! Keep us updated!

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