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Original poster

What do you do for childcare for senior school kids?

26 replies

Shylo · 21/03/2019 22:39

I’m struggling to figure out how to juggle childcare for my DD (11) and DS (9) and I wondered what other people do with children that have just started senior school ....

I’m a single parent and I work 90 minutes from home so I don’t get back in the evening until about 7pm. My parents currently help but for reasons I won’t bore you with this isn’t really working with my DD who is in her first year of senior school ..... so what to do

She seems too old for a childminder, plus most don’t mind after 6pm anyway but she isn’t old enough to be on her own for so long ...

So I’m looking for inspiration really, what do you do with your tweens if you work late?

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 21/03/2019 22:41

Unless she has special needs why wouldn’t she be old enough ? Most high school kids don’t have childcare.

thefavourite · 21/03/2019 22:41

We are about to start letting my nearly 12yo and nearly 10yo come home alone. However there are two of them and their Dad is home by 4.15/4.30pm.

What have you done up until now until 7pm?

Original poster
Shylo · 21/03/2019 22:46

Until now she ha gone to my parents from school and had dinner with them, and then I collect her and my DS from there at about 7.

I do leave her alone at home for shorter periods but at 11 I don’t think I should leave her at home alone from 3.30 til 7pm

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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Original poster
Shylo · 21/03/2019 22:47

Or maybe that’s what other people do, I guess I’m Just trying to tell if I’m being over protective

OP posts:
thefavourite · 21/03/2019 22:55

I wouldn't leave mine alone that long and over a mealtime either. Why can she not still go to your parents'?

GemmeFatale · 21/03/2019 22:59

I’d let her go home, make a simple meal and do homework.

Leeds2 · 21/03/2019 23:02

I would still send her to my parents.

Unless, maybe, there is an after school activity which would keep her entertained for a couple of hours after school, and then let her come home alone. Might work for one or two evenings a week, as an alternative.

MegBusset · 21/03/2019 23:03

It's tricky at this age, there is definitely a bit of a gap when they are too old for childcare but might not be ready to be left home alone.

Is there any way you could move to flexible working and finish early a couple of days a week? Then make an arrangement with another working family nearby where you have their DC the nights you finish early and vice versa.

Alternatively I would perhaps look for a responsible teenager nearby who can come and sit with them after school and oversee their homework etc.

Runbikeswim · 21/03/2019 23:06

Yes could a teenage childcare student or similar could sit in and keep them company/supervise? I had a Neighbours daughter help me out.

megletthesecond · 21/03/2019 23:06

You're not being over protective.
I wouldn't leave my 12yr old alone that long. And he's sensible.

Applesbananaspears · 21/03/2019 23:11

I have an older lady picks up my youngest and comes over after school, makes them some dinner, gets them it start homework and does a bit of a kitchen tidy. It works really well

NuffSaidSam · 21/03/2019 23:15

I don't think it's about being overprotective. I don't think it's nice for an 11 year old to come home to an empty house. I find at that age they still want to tell someone of they've had a bad day/good day etc.

Would an au pair be an option? Or maybe a student who lives with you? Or a student who just comes for the afternoon?

AuditAngel · 21/03/2019 23:19

I pick dd2 (8) up 2 or 3 days from school, DH does the other days.

As DH does split shifts he is usually home before DS(14) and DD1 (12) get home . If I don’t pick up, the 3DC will probably be alone for an hour, sometimes longer.

In the holidays, youngest will go to clubs, often collected by oldest.

NC4Now · 21/03/2019 23:24

My DS went to a childminder, but he had additional issues which meant home alone wasn’t an option He walked himself there though, and generally did his own thing, it was just a safety net.
He just told his friends he was going to his aunties for tea.

drspouse · 21/03/2019 23:28

Could they go to a CM and then walk home at 6?

converseandjeans · 21/03/2019 23:29

I don't think you're being over protective. It is a long time. Could she go to your parents for couple of nights with her DB? Could you start earlier and finish earlier? Ask to wfh a day a week?

BackforGood · 21/03/2019 23:32

You're not being overprotective. I wouldn't have left any of mine at that age, for that amount of time every day. It isn't the 3 1/2 hours - I'd do that occasionally in the holidays or at a weekend, it is the fact they are responsible for opening up the house, cooking the meal, and being alone (or inviting people in???) for all those hours after school every day.

It the arrangements with Grand parents "not really working" for them or for her ? It is a BIG commitment for Grandparents.
I'm no help in saying what the solution is - I was home a lot earlier than 7.

defineme · 21/03/2019 23:42

I am home by 5, but I can tell you what my dd's best friend does in a similar situation. One night a week she comes to us, which I am fine with, she's a nice polite girl that eats anything and it makes dd very happy. 2 other nights she has after school activities at school and then takes herself home for a shorter time. Then she has music lesson, does her homework in costa and gets picked up from there. She often has invites to other friends houses and in the summer they take an age getting home anyway as they stop by the park etc.
Can you compress your hours?
Pay an older teen to hang out?
Ask another relative?
Ask friends/her friends?

Designerenvy · 21/03/2019 23:49

I think she's too young to be left alone that long. The only choice you have is for her to go grandparents house or get a child minder/ au pair .

wizzywig · 22/03/2019 08:53

I pay for a nanny. Plus in the school hols you wouldnt be happy leaving them alone all day. It works for me.

Original poster
Shylo · 22/03/2019 21:09

Thanks all, it’s been really helpful to see what other people do ..... to answer the questions

  • I already wfh two days a week, so this is only an issue three days.
  • I can’t really flex my work any more
  • I have been incredibly lucky and my parents have been helping with childcare since my children were born; it’s all
Just a bit much now with my daughter who is entering the hormonal teens and my DM who is getting more cantankerous in her old age . I think they could both do with a bit of space to give them a break and get their grandparent/grandchild relationship back
  • my DS goes to primary school in the next town and is with a childminder there before my parents collect him, which makes logistics a bit harder

I think the solution is probably along the au pair / nanny route which seems to be the best way to flex around our situation

OP posts:
Whereareyouspot · 22/03/2019 21:15

It is tricky
I wouldn’t leave an 11 year old home alone for so long after school
They need a bit of company

Any after school activities that would use up some of the time?
If not yes look for an after school nanny or nanny share. They do exist but are hard to find

Tbh I think you will find this gets harder and harder and teenagers imho need you around more not less
Those moments after school were when mine divulged the best and bad bits of the day and needed me as a shoulder to cry and lean on.

When they are babies it’s easier really so long as they have a kind pair of hands they trust to feed and bath them.

Your job sounds such a distance away. Is there any chance at all of being a bit nearer at any point so you don’t waste so much time commuting?

DizziLizzy · 22/03/2019 21:18

My DC are latchkey kids....

But we all spend a lot of time together late evening and weekends. We also holiday fair bit.

Appreciate it's difficult when your on your own.

PlayingForKittens · 22/03/2019 21:26

My primary age kids go to the childminder but from the start of year 7 the older one was home alone until the husband got back. He gets home around 4. He is of course supposed to do homework but never does and I know he spends too long watching crap on YouTube but hey ho. He is perfectly capable though of giving whatever is in the slow cooker a proud and putting rice or pasta on to be ready when the rest get home.

anniehm · 22/03/2019 21:30

My kids school had the library open until 5, does hers? It reduces the time at home